Forever United
by Seldenta
Summary: Raised in the life of hunting. Sam and dean have only ever had each other. Will their love be enough, to survive their lives challenges? Sam/Dean Slash, Wincest. M for future chapters.
1. Your own personal Hell

Forever United

Supernatural Fanfic

Written by Seldenta, Beta'd by ?

Chapter 1: Your own personal Hell

Italics = Sam talking

Normal = Dean

Bold = Other people

* * *

Another day in some dingy hotel room on the way to another hunt on the opposite coast. Sam was curled up in his bed, the covers thrown across his lower half and arms wrapped around one of his pillows. Dean was in a similar position in his own bed, though arms were behind his head, eyes opened and staring at the ceiling.

Listening to his baby brothers breathing and just enjoying the peace and quiet. He was of course fighting the urge to look over at his sleeping brother, to allow his eyes to roam over his well toned chest and stomach, lingering on where the blanket was settled. No he couldn't let that happen because these feelings weren't right. Sammy was his brother for christ sake! With a heavy grunt he rolled onto his side before throwing his feet over the side of the bed. Reaching down he yanked the sheet off his lap and headed towards the bathroom. Only casting a glance to see if he'd disturbed his brother. Shutting the door behind him and locking it before bracing himself against the sink.

Glancing up he stared into the mirror, looking at his reflection for what seemed to be hours but was only a few minutes before quickly turning on the tap, shoving his hands into the stream of water and splashing it over his face. How could he feel like this about Sammy? He was suppose to protect him, to keep him safe. Not be thinking about molesting him, or worse. A shudder rolled down his spine and he took a deep breath. The muffled sound of his brothers voice caused him to jump, spinning towards the door. "What was that sammy? "_I said are you alright?_" "Yea i'll uh... i'll be out in a second." "_Alright...._" Of course Sam didn't sound convinced about him being alright. Go figure.

Shaking his head he turned off the tap and grabbed a towel, drying his face before yanking the door open and striding towards his bag. "_You alright Dean?_" He glanced towards his brother and frowned, reaching into the bag and yanking out jeans, a shirt and new boxers. "Yea why wouldn't I be?" He mumbled, turning back to the bag. When Sam spoke next he was standing right behind Dean, and his hand reached out to touch his brothers shoulder. "_Cause you seem tense. I know somethings wrong, talk to me dean._" Dean jumped at the contact and whipped around, effectively pulling away from his brother who frowned at this.

Dean knew his brother wasn't going to drop it unless he either spilled, or they got into a huge fight. Taking a deep breath he braced himself for the argument that was sure to come. "I said im fine, Sam. Leave it alone." His tone was short and cold. Sam flinched slightly at the sudden change of attitude and his frown grew "_Why do you always have to be such a jerk? I am just worried about you Dean. But if you want to bottle it up until it is driving you insane, eating away at you then -_" "YES! If there was something wrong that is exactly what I want. Now stop being a bitch and get ready, we have a job to do!" Dean then turned and strode into the kitchen, donned in only his jeans that he'd pulled on along with his fresh boxers sometime during their spat. Hey it wasn't like they hadn't changed in front of each other before.

"_Dean..._" He paused mid step at his brothers tone. It was his hurt, pleading tone that always got him his way. Yet another deep breath was taken as he rounded on his brother. "What Sam?" Which was a mistake considering Sam was standing close to him again, a hurt expression on his face. Dean had to force himself to plaster on a glare, posture forced to seem impatient. "Well?" "_Nevermind i'll.... i'll meet you outside when your ready...maybe even get breakfast?_" "Sure whatever." Sam nodded and turned, it was only then that Dean noticed he was dressed. Wow that kid dressed fast. "Sammy?" "_Yes?_" Came the reply from his brother, who was standing in the door. "Im....." Sam raised an eye brow at him and he sighed. "Get me 3 sausage biscuits?" He grinned at his brother who snorted and walked out the door, grumbling something about all the meat dean ate and heart attacks.

Dean couldn't help but smirk at that, leave it to sam to worry about his health even when he was annoyed at him. It just reinforced the fact that they loved each other all the more, granted he doubted that Sam loved him the way he did, in that unnatural, so going to hell if I ever acted on it, sort of love. At least he hoped his brother didn't, for the most part anyways. A small part in the back of his brain, the sick and twisted part that wanted to do disturbing things to his brother, well it wished he did love him back; like that. A sigh escaped his lips and he turned, heading towards the door and grabbing his shirt, pulling it over his head as he stepped out into the cool morning air. They had to get going, there was a haunting to get to. Oh the joys, right? Pulling the door shut he turned and caught sight of Sammy leaning against the impala. "_I already checked out, so we can get going._" A dumb nod was issued and he fished his keys from his pocket, and was about to move around the impala to the drivers side.

That was until a hand clamped over his arm and gripped tightly, stopping him in his path. Looking down at the hand he sighed and looked up at Sam "What?" "_I know you said your fine...but if you wanna talk....whenever, i'll listen._" This of course caused his heart to clench. He'd been being an ass to his brother and all sam was, was well nice. "Yea, alright." He mumbled in response and Sam let go of him a few moments later. "_I got breakfast._" His grin stretched over his face and Dean couldn't help but smirk. "Great!" Moving around the hood he opened the drivers door and slid in, followed by Sam who slid into the passenger seat. As dean started the engine his brother fished out their breakfasts, handing Dean a sausage biscuit; already unwrapped. "Thanks."

Dean smiled at Sam before heading off down the road, taking a bite of the biscuit every few minutes. It was little things like that, that made it seem tolerable to fight off his disgusting desires. Of course there were times when it seemed like Sam had them as well. Like when his hand would linger to long, or Dean would catch him staring at him while he drove. Of course he rarely ever said anything, just smirked and looked back at the road.

Then again there were times when his feelings, the unnatural feelings that he got, were his own personal hell. Like when they were stuck in a small motel room and Sam decided to walk around shirtless. He swore, that boy knew about the desires and loved taunting him. A sigh escaped vocals and he shook his head, trying to rid his mind of those thoughts, taking yet another bite of the biscuit. Of course that had been the last bite of that one, and before he could ask for another it was already held out to him, unwrapped and Sam had a small smile on his face. Dean smirked "You psychic man?" "_No I just...know you_" "Uh huh." God how he hoped that statement wasn't true. Of course he knew that he could read Sam with ease, knew when something was bothering him and usually could tell what it was. Of course he'd been the one to raise Sam, watching out for him and protecting him all their lives. Could Sam really read him just as well?

They fell into a comfortable silence, only stopping once or twice to use the rest room and grab something to eat. Of course when the sun set, they pulled over to switch places. Sam got in the drivers seat and Dean leaned up against the passenger side door to take a nap. "Wake me when its my turn to drive." He mumbled against the rolled up shirt he was using as a pillow. Sam had been taking naps all day. They often did this, to arrive at hunts sooner rather then later. Sam glanced at Dean and nodded "_Of course._" He put the car in drive and pulled back onto the road. Glancing at the sleeping figure of his big brother every few moments. It was bugging him, not knowing what was causing Dean to be so upset. They often got into fights, and he was used to Dean not wanting to talk about his feelings, but this seemed to be really upsetting him. Hell, he loved his big brother more then anything in the world, he would do anything just to see him happy. Of course it didn't help that he felt some very wrong type of love for his brother, the type that made him want to just reach over, grab dean and kiss him to death. A sigh escaped vocals as he ripped his eyes from the sight of his brother, focusing back on the road. Sometimes he swore that he was living in his own personal hell.


	2. Can you feel it?

Chapter 2: Do you feel it?

It was two days later that they pulled into the small town where their job was. Dean was driving, of course and it looked like he was about to pass out. "Sammy..." Sam, who had been leaning against the passenger door watching the trees go by looked over. He'd woken from his nap about an hour ago and had insisted on driving, only to be told no by Dean. "_Yea?_" He knew Dean was exhausted, and hoped they wouldn't start the job until the next day. Considering Dean was about to pass out where he sat. "When I get to the motel go check us in. Im thinking the job can wait till tomorrow, yea? Less you wanna do some research today?" Sam smirked and nodded "_You rest Dean, I'll do research and tomorrow you can start helping. No biggie._" Dean nodded, pulling into a parking space near the motel and opened his door. Sam got out as well and walked to the office, checking them in and headed back out to see Dean leaning heavily against the impalas hood. "_Come on, lets get you to bed._" He wrapped his arm around his brothers waist and half carried him to the room. Of course, dean was protesting the whole way, but was to exhausted to really yank away from the warmth without falling on his face.

Yea that'd be just great, right? Be an ass to his brother when he was just trying to help and probably end up hurting himself. Thus was the reason he just grumbled under his breath after the first few smacks at Sam when he first put his arm around him. It wasn't on his to do list to do a face plant on the ground this evening. Sam managed to get the door open and helped Dean to the bed, who flopped face down on the mattress and grumbled when Sam removed his shoes, lifted his feet and pulled the cover out from under him then proceeded to cover him. Sam smirked at his brothers half sleepness and after covering him hovered by the bed for a few minutes before leaning over and brushing a kiss to his forehead, when he was certain dean was asleep of course. He then turned and walked over to the poor excuse for a table and sat down, pulling his laptop out of its bag and opening it.

Dean had been awake when Sam brushed the kiss upon his forehead and he laid there, feigning sleep as his mind whirled. Sure it could have just been a brotherly thing, god knows he'd done it enough when Sam was younger and he'd tuck him into bed. Then again he had always been the older one, the protector and caretaker. It had been his job to take care of Sam, hell it still was. With a soft sigh he rolled onto his stomach and buried his face into the pillow. Soon drifting off to sleep, thinking about what that simple kiss could have meant. It had been a few hours of researching, and so far Sam'd only found out the ghosts name and how she was killed. There was nothing on where she was buried. A heavy sigh escaped his vocals and he leaned back in the chair, reaching up to run his hand through his hair.

Dean had been awake for a few minutes, watching Sam as he was immersed in his research. However at the sigh and obvious signs that Sam was stressed he pulled himself out of the comfortable bed. Walking as silently as possible over to his brother and placing both of his hands on Sams shoulders, giving him a sort of massage for a few seconds before brushing it off as him just goofing around when he gently shook his brother forward and back, then side to side. Sam had nearly lept out of his skin when Deans hands were placed on his shoulders, and his mind began to whirl at the massage, that was odd. But then he was shaken and a choked laugh escaped him. "_See your finally awake._" "Yea, so what'd ya find out so far?" Dean was leaning over his shoulder, reading from the screen. Sam smirked and leaned back more, his head resting against Deans chest/stomach and with each breath he in hailed his brothers scent, a mixture of gun powder, oil, soap and just Dean. "_It appears that Samantha Henderson was brutally murdered by her step father in 1956. I can't find where the body is though..._"

Dean simply blinked when Sam moved back to rest his head against his chest. Again with the odd things that they both did but shrugged it off, listening to his brother say what all he'd found. "Hm.. Well we'll ask around town then, eh?" Standing up he squeezed Sams shoulders before turning and heading to the bathroom. Sam turned his head slightly to watch Dean head off to the bathroom before sighing again and scrubbing his hands over his face. Leaning forward letting his elbows rest on the table. God this was going to be a long day. A few minutes later Dean reemerged from the bathroom dressed and ready to go. "Come on Sammy." "_Alright, lets go._" Sam got up from the chair and headed towards the door as Dean pulled on his leather jacket and snagged the keys to the Impala off the night stand. Once outside they made they way to the car and got in. Dean reached over and cranked up AC/DC, Back in black(AN: I couldn't resist, I was watching clips from bloodlust xD) and pulled out of the parking lot.

It was about ten minutes later when they pulled into the motel where the home owners were currently staying. Dean and Sam shared a look before they got out and were approached by Tom, the home owner of course. "**Anything?**" "Well Sammy here found out who the ghost might be, but we can't find out where her body is." "**Who?**" They paused as a person walked past. "_Samantha Henderson_" "**Samantha Henderson?.....**" The man paused for a minute, thinking about it before a look crossed his face. "**Shes buried on the private graveyard out back behind the house about an acre back.**" Dean and Sam nodded "Grave marked?" The man nodded "_Thanks._" "**No problem, and uh thanks.**" "Don't thank us yet." Dean replied before he glanced at Sam and they both turned and got back into the car.

Heading back towards the haunted house Dean glanced over to Sam, who was sitting quietly in the passenger seat. "You ok Sammy?" It was silent for a moment before a quiet reply reached his ears. "_Yea im fine, Dean._" Dean studied his brother for a few more seconds before turning his full attention back to the road. If Sammy wanted to talk about whatever was bugging him he would, because after all he loved causing chick flick moments, no matter how uncomfortable they made Dean. In fact, if Dean had to guess, he'd say that Sammy loved causing chick flick moments just to make him squirm... of course he knew that Sammy was as cruel as that. He hoped.

As the silence stretched across the drive Sam was off in his own little world, thinking back to when Dean found out about Ruby. Ruby, the bitch that had caused so much trouble and heart ache between him and Dean. Ruby, who had lied to him, tricked him, strung him along...whichever term you want to choose. Sure she was dead now, he had killed her as soon as he figured out that killing Lillith was a major fuck up on his part, but the look in Deans eyes..when he had told Sam never to come back if he walked out that door.

****Flashback*******

They were standing in that damn motel room the he and Ruby had got, it had just been after he'd sent Ruby out before Dean tried to kill her. They began talking and Dean, poor dean he looked so confused, so hurt...and most of all... pissed. Very pissed. "Shes poisoned you sam!" "_Look its not what you think_" "Look what she did to you! I mean she up and vanishes for weeks at a time, leaves you cracking out for another hit!" "_She was looking for lillith!_" Dean sighed. "That is french for manipulating your ass ten ways from sunday!" "_Your wrong dean!" _Dean shook his head, his face and eyes actually reflected the hurt that he'd inflicted on Dean. "You are lieing to yourself" With two steps dean was up in his face as he continued "I just.......want you to be Okay" Sam could hear the desperation in his tone, the hurt that was reflected on his face. Dean continued to stare into his eyes as he continued. "You would do the same for me, you know you would." Sam sighed, he didn't want to hurt Dean... he didn't want to cause the pain that he saw in his brothers face, in his posture. "_Just listen_" Pausing as he tossed the knife onto the bed before continuing. "_Just listen for a second. We got a lead on a demon close to lilith come with us dean._" God how he wanted Dean to come with him, he wanted his big brother with him...always. He was sure his tone reflected this, but didn't care. "_We'll do this together._" "That sounds great" Dean replied in a near whisper, but continued louder. "As long as its you and me. Demon bitch is a deal breaker, you kiss her ass goodbye and we can go right now." He wanted to agree, so bad but he needed her. She was teaching him, schooling him on ways to kill demons without having to risk Deans life. Looking towards the roof he took a breath. "_I cant. Dean, I need her to help me kill lillith._" Dean had turned away from him as soon as the words I cant came out of his mouth. "_I know you cant wrap your head around it._" He continued anyways, praying that Dean would see reason. "_But maybe one day....you'll understand?_" Deans head shook, only slightly but Sam saw it anyways... His heart broke a little.

"_Im the only one who can do this, Dean." _At this Dean turned around, anger being the strongest emotion expressed, along with the hurt. "No your not going to be the one to do this." "_Right thats right I forgot, the angels think its you_" He snapped, his anger getting the better of him. Why couldn't Dean just understand?! Deans eyebrows rose as his eyes narrowed "You dont think I can?" "_No you cant._" Ok so that was probably the wrong thing to say, defiantly considering how this just seemed to piss Dean off more. Yet he couldn't stop himself from continuing. "_Your not strong enough._" "And who the hell are you?" "_Im being practical here, im doing what needs to be done." _"Yea?! Your not going to do a single damn thing." Dean replied in the same tone he always used when giving orders. Sams anger spiked and he spat back "_Stop bossing me around Dean!" _Sucking in a deep breath he tried to reign in his anger. This was dean, his big brother... the guy he loved. He was just trying to protect him, but Sam was trying to protect Dean as well. _"Look, my whole life" _I've loved you. He thought. "_You took the wheel, you called the shots and I trust you, because your my brother now im asking you for once, trust me!"_ God how he wanted Dean to accept, to trust him. To let him protect Dean for once.

Dean wasn't having it though, as his head began to shake. A sigh escaped Sam before Dean spoke. "No, you don't know what your doing sam." _"Yes I do!" _"Thats worse!" _"Why? Look Im telling you -" _"Because its not something your doing its what you are!" Dean shouted in rage. Hurt flitted across Sams face as his heart cracked more. "It means" But dean stopped. _"What? No." _Tears had already welled up in his eyes, blurring his vision and threatening to overflow. Dean swallowed heavily as he continued to stare at sam, his sammy._"Say it." _"It means your a monster" Sam nodded, looking away as his jaw clenched. He was trying to get a reign on his anger, but failed as his arm drew back before swinging forward, punching Dean right in the jaw. Dean who fell onto the ground from the force and shock of the attack, took a few moments to get up off the floor. When he did, his face was expressionless, just as it was when he took down.....monsters. Sam felt his heart shatter in that moment. He snarled at Dean, he wasn't a monster! All of a sudden Dean lunged, his fist colliding with Sams face repeatedly, before he punched Sam in the stomach and then kneed him in the groin. If there was one thing Sam could say about his brother, it was that he was a skilled fighter. Of course, he wasn't thinking this at the time.

This continued for a few seconds before Sam got the upper hand, punching dean several times before he fell back against the glass. As he turned around he came at Sam again, who ducked and grabbed a hold of him. Shoving him throw the half wall in the cheap motel room. This time Dean stayed down, rolling onto his back and grunting in pain. He coughed and looked away from Sam, unaware that Sam had stalked towards him until he was on him. Large hands gripped his brothers throat as he started choking him, Dean tried to pry his brothers arms away sammy was to strong. Suddenly realizing what he was doing Sam released his brother and stumbled back. Oh god, Dean was right! He was a monster! Dean lay on the ground coughing, trying to get his breath back. "_You don't know me. You never did_" Sam said, anger lacing his voice. He couldn't let Dean know he was right, that he was a monster. _"And you never will"_ He added, his voice carried the sadness that he felt. Heading towards the door he only paused at Deans words. "You walk out that door, don't you ever come back" Sam turned around and looked down at his brother, glaringly. Though his heart felt like it'd been shoved through a paper shredder and then ripped out of his chest a piece at a time. Sighing he turned around, opened the door and left.

********End flash back******

"Sammy?" Sam jumped at Deans voice and jerked up, looking at his brother. Blinking a few times he noticed they were at the house and Dean was leaning against Sams window. "Coming?" "_Mm yea." _Sam climbed out of the Impala and took the flash light and shotgun that Dean handed him. Reaching down he grabbed the gas as well and followed Dean into the woods, staring at his arse every chance he got. Dean was carrying the salt and the shovels as they walked in silence through the woods. It only took a few minutes before they came upon the graveyard and started looking for the right grave. "_Found it!" _Dean moved over to sam and set the salt down. "I'll dig, you keep watch." Sam nodded and adjusted his hold on the shot gun. Shining the flashlight on the grave while Dean shoved the shovel in and tossed the dirt aside. They stood like this for about a half hour before the ghost decided to make an appearance. As she appeared she threw Sam into a tree; causing the shotgun to fly from his hands and land a few feet away. "SAMMY!" Dean scrambled to climb out of the hole he had dug, determined to protect his baby brother. Sam groaned and looked around, trying to move from the tree but found he was forced there by the ghost, who turned to look at Dean just as he grabbed the shot gun and threw him across the clearing. "_Dean!" _Dean however hadn't dropped the gun when he crashed to the ground. Rolling onto his back he sat up, aimed and shot the bitch with the rock salt. After she disappeared he clambered to his feet and stumbled over to Sam. "You ok?" At the nod he handed the gun to his brother and grabbed the salt, gas and matches. Breaking open the coffin after a few more minutes of digging he doused it in salt and gas before climbing out and tossing in a match. The two stood there for a few minutes, watching as the flames consumed the grave. As they turned to leave Sams knees buckled and Dean reached out grabbing him before he hit the ground. Wrapping an arm around Sams waist he heaved him back onto his feet. "Easy there Sasquatch." He tried to sound teasing, but was actually rather concerned about his brother.

Supporting Sam they slowly made it back to the Impala where he leaned Sam on the car as he opened the door and pushed him into the passenger seat before doing a quick once over. His thumb traced the cut that was below Sams eye as his other checked sams ribs, frowning when Sam hissed. "Alright... I gotta check you over when we get back to the motel." Before he stood he watched his thumb trace down sams face and Sams eyes locked on his own, they stared at each other for several minutes...though it felt like hours before Dean leaned forward slightly and brushed his lips against Sams. They sat there frozen for a few minutes before dean pulled back and coughed. "Uh....yea...dunno what that was bout..." Placing his hands on the seat on either side of sam he pushed up to stand, only well he couldn't because his brother had grabbed his shirt and was pulling him back down and smashing his lips against deans. Deans eyes widened in shock, what the hell was sam doing?! Sure, Dean loved Sam in a way that wasn't brotherly, but could this mean that sam returned the feelings or was it just cause he thought dean would leave? After a few minutes Deans lips began to mirror sams, only breaking the kiss when he felt Sams tongue run across his bottom lip. "Sammy..." He allowed his eyes to scan over his brothers face, hand reaching up to caress his cheek. "We can't...." "_Yea...right...your right. Lets just go." _"Sammy.." _"Can we go now dean?" _"Yea, course." Dean stood and shut the passenger door before walking around the hood and sliding into the drivers seat.

The silence was an awkward one as they drove back to the motel, and continued after Dean got Sam inside and set him down on the bed. His hands quickly pulled his brothers shirt off, as gently as he could of course. Beneath the shirt was a large bruise covering sams back and his right side, Sam hissed as Dean gingerly pressed on the bruise. He frowned when he felt a crack but the rib wasn't misplaced. "Well your lucky it hasn't moved. I'ma wrap you and your gonna rest, ok?" His only reply was a grunt and Dean frowned more. Grabbing the wrap he began to work, soon his brother was covered in a white wrap, of course it'd been pulled tight but not to tight. Years of practice had taught him what was the right amount and what would only cause Sam pain. Pushing gently on Sams shoulder he got his brother to lay down after handing him two pain killers from the nightstand and a glass of water. He remained perched on the edge of the bed, watching as Sam started to drift asleep. A fond smile crossed his face as his hand reached up, brushing his brothers hair from his eyes. "I love you, Sammy." He whispered before leaning over and brushing a kiss to Sams forehead, lingering for a few minutes before he stood and laid down in his own bed.

A few hours later he woke to Sam crying out his name, quickly switching on the light he scrambled over to his brothers bed and placed his hand on Sams chest, using his free hand to brush the sweaty hair out of sams eyes. "Sammy, come on sammy wake up." "_...Dea?" _"Shh its ok." Sam had tears running down his face, a nightmare no doubt. Something that Sam hadn't had since they were kids. "_Dean!" _Sams arms wrapped around him, pulling Dean down to where he could reach him better, cling to him. At the hiss Dean pulled back. "Its ok, im here its ok." _"It was..you..dea...you were...dea.." _"Shhh its ok." He crawled into the bed beside his brother and pulled him against him. Making sure that Sam wasnt laying on the side with the broken rib. "I got ya. Shh I got you. I've always gotcha." Dean continued to hold sam, stroking his hair until he was sure Sammy was asleep. "I'll always have you." He whispered before drifting to sleep himself.


	3. Where I Belong

Chapter 3: Where I belong

It was the next morning and Sam was the first to wake. The first thing he noticed, was that he was curled up against a warm body that in return, had their arms wrapped around him. Taking a breath he realized that this person smelled familiar, safe. Like gun powder, soap, oil, and..... DEAN!? Jerking his head up he realized that yes, it was Dean holding him. Flickers of the night, the horrible nightmare he'd suffered. Dean had been murdered in front of him, ripped apart by a hell hound. Though it wasn't really a nightmare, more like a memory that haunted him at night. It was that night that Dean went to hell, the night his deal had come to a end. A deal he'd made to keep Sam alive. He remembered Dean waking him up, dean comforting him, and them both falling asleep curled up together. He tried to stay as still as he possibly could, resting his head back on deans chest. He was safe, he had always protected Sam. Hell, Sam couldn't remember another time he had ever felt as safe as he did when he was near Dean. He didn't really know why, and he didn't question it. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Dean raised him, or maybe because he loved dean.

However his inner dialog was interrupted when Dean stirred and his eyes opened, revealing the mesmerizing green eyes that were hid beneath the lids. "Sammy?" Dean thought for a minute, and then remembered climbing into Sams bed last night because of his distressed cries. "You ok?" At sams nod he sighed and relaxed some. He then noticed that he still had his arms wrapped around his little brother, and he grudgingly unwound them before glancing down at the top of Sams head; which was still resting on his chest. He could feel Sams arm draped across his stomach, tighten as he removed his arms and he sighed. "Come on, I dunno bout you but im hungry. Lets go see if we can find some decent grub." He watched as Sam rolled over, releasing his hold on him. Once he was free he slowly sat up, rubbing his face before he stood and strolled into the bathroom. _"Your always hungry, Dea."_ He heard his brothers groggy reply. A chuckle escaped vocals and he shut the door behind him.

Sam shook his head as he pushed himself up from the bed and headed towards his bag, grabbing the pain killers along the way. Untwisting the bottle he popped two in his mouth and dry swallowed them before pulling out a clean shirt and jeans, along with clean boxers. He of course had to wait for Dean to get out of the bathroom but still he couldn't take that long now could he? An hour later it was apparent he could take that long. "_Dean! Hurry up._" He called, glaring at the locked bathroom door. Goddamn his brother for hogging all the hot water. "Im coming!" "_I didnt ask about your sex life!_" The door swung open to reveal Dean, water running down his toned chest with a towel slung low around his hips. "Happy, Samantha?" He grumbled as he walked past Sam; their shoulders brushing as he headed for his own bag. "_Yes. Finally._" Dean turned around and noticed the bulge in Sams boxers. Snickering he nodded towards it "So I see." Sam looked down and then at Dean an glared, before storming into the bathroom and slamming the door behind him. Leaving Dean to his quiet snickering while he got dressed.

A good while later, Sam emerged from the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist. He moved towards his bed and quickly got dressed, unaware of his brother staring at him from the make shift table near the small kitchen like area. After he got his boxers on Dean stood and walked towards him with the ace bandage wrap. "Come on Sam, I gotta re-wrap your ribs." "_Mmk._" He moved to the bed and sat down, with dean standing next to him. "So, while your ribs are healing I figure we can drift from town to town, i'll hustle to make us money and you can research hunts." Sam knew it wasn't a question, he knew that his brother was just looking out for him by avoiding hunts. But all the people, he took a breath about to argue with his brother when pain struck and he winced. Dean noticed this and grabbed his brother by the shoulders. "Sammy? You ok?" Sam nodded as he sat straight again to let Dean continue wrapping. "_Yea... Made the mistake...of taking a ...deep breath._" Dean nodded at this, but watched Sam closely while he finished wrapping his brothers ribs. Once he was finished he helped Sammy with his shirt, ignoring his brothers protests.

About ten minutes later they were heading out of the motel room and climbing into the Impala, with their bags in the back seat and Sams lap top open in his lap. Dean slid into the drivers seat and the car roared to life. "So, breakfast and then we're outta here?" Sam merely grunted in return and Dean smirked. His brother could be such a nerd at times. Reaching over he turned on the radio on and 'Dont fear the reaper' blared through the speakers as he put the car in reverse and backed out of the parking space before pulling out onto the road and putting the pedal to the metal.

Sam stared blankly at the screen, it seemed that a small town down in florida of all places was being terrorized by a vampire. A sigh escaped his lips as he shifted on the seat before the memory of Gordon coming after him, and dean wanting to risk his life came flooding back. It seemed that it was always Dean saving his ass, and when it had come time for him to save Deans, he had failed him.

********Flash Back******

"Sammy stay here." Dean said after turning and walking away from the windows, that had the mattresses leaned up against them. "_What? Where you going now?_" Hadn't Dean just come back from saying he couldn't find Gordon in everywhere he looked? This statement had made Sam pause in the process of stomping their phones into the ground so they couldn't be tracked. "I'm going after Gordon." Dean replied as he picked up a gun and some ammo. Of course, what good a gun would do against a vampire, was beyond Sam but whatever. "_What?_" Surely he had misheard his brother, because well not even Dean was that stupid. "You heard me." Ok so maybe he had heard him but that was just...stupid. "_Not alone your not._" He couldn't let Dean get killed because of him, to many people had died because of him and he wasn't sure he could survive if Dean wasn't around. "Sam, I don't need you to sign me a permission slip ok? Hes after you not me, and hes turbo charged. I want you to stay out of harms way." All of this was said while dean was cleaning and loading the gun with practiced precession. "I'll take care of it." "_But dean you're not going by yourself. Your gonna get yourself killed._" "Just another day at the office. Its a massively dangerous day at the office" "_So what your the guy with nothing to lose now huh? Oh wait let me guess, its because uh because your already dead?_" Sure Sam knew that was a low blow, but he had to get it through Deans head that even though the deal was almost up, that Sam was still fighting for him. Still trying to save him.

Dean looked up from what he was doing. "If the shoe fits." "_You know what man im so sick of your stupid Kamikaze trip._" "Woah Kamikaze? I'm more like a ninja." "_Thats not funny._" "Its a little funny." "_No dean, its not._" He knew by now his eyes had already begun to tear up, but he couldn't help it. His brother was sitting here, acting like nothing was wrong, like he wouldn't be going to hell if Sam failed him, like he didn't even care! But Sam, he knew better, he could see through his brother. Dean set the gun down and stood up. "What do you want me to do sam, huh? Sit around all day writing sad poems about how im going to die?" He paused to pick up a pad and pencil. "Lets see I got one, what rhymes with shut up sam?" "_Dean_" Sam snatched the pad from his brother and threw it to the floor. "_Drop the attitude Dean. Quit turning everything into a punch line. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like your not afraid._" "Im not." "_Your lieing, and you may as well drop it because I can see right through you._" "You have no idea what your talking about." Dean moved around him and sam spun to face him again. "_Yea, I do. Your scared dean. Your scared because your year is running out and your still going to hell and your freaked._" "And how do you know that?" "_Because I KNOW YOU!_" "Really?" "_Yea, because i've been following you around my entire life. I mean i've been looking up to you since I was 4 dean, studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yea, I know you._" Sam was aware that his eyes were basically over flowing with tears now, but he couldn't cry. Not yet, not with Dean finally looking like he was getting it, that he didn't have to hide his fears from Sam. "_Better then anyone else in the entire world. And this, is exactly how you act when your terrified. And I mean, I cant blame you. Its just..._" "What?" Dean had been studying the floor because it had become so interesting during sams little speech, however at the pause and the tone his brother had he looked up and noticed the tears in his eyes, how he seemed to be fighting them back. "_Its just I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. Cause..... Just cause._"

******End flashback********

It had been after that discussion that dean and him had finally started acting like brothers again. That was until Sam failed him, and Dean got drug to hell and used as the hell hounds chew toy. Sam glanced over at the drivers seat and smiled at the scene before him. Dean was relaxed as he drove, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel and he was singing along with 'wanted dead or alive'. Shaking his head he watching his brother for a few more seconds before Dean noticed he had come out of his own little zone. "Sammy! Come on sing along now! And I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back  
I play for keeps, 'cause I might not make it back I been everywhere" "_Oh yea_" "and I'm standing tall I've seen a million faces an I've rocked them all" "I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride I'm wanted(An: Both of them singing) _WANTED_ dead or alive. _Dead or alive Dead or alive Dead or alive_" Dean smirked at his brother as they continued driving in silence.

About two hours later they pulled into a little town and Dean began to look for the local motel. Sam had shifted his position, where his feet were curled up under him and he was leaning his shoulder against the cars door. His head was cushioned on Deans jacket, he had drifted asleep after their little singing session. Dean honestly thought he looked like a tiger trying to curl up in a to small cage, but whatever floated his boat. Soon enough he pulled into the motels parking lot and parked, killing the engine and twisting in the driver seat as much as he could. Considering some time during the short drive through town, Sams feet had slid down the seat and were now resting in his lap. He sighed as he pondered on how to wake his darling little brother. He could either be cruel and scare him, payback for all the times Sam blared the horn when he was asleep. Or he could be the nice, sweet brother he usually was. With a huff he decided to be nice, considering Sam had broken ribs and all. However, when the ribs were healed it was game on!

He placed his hand on Sams leg and shook it a few times. "Hey, Sasquatch. Get up." When Sam didn't stir he huffed and shifted out from under his brothers feet, placing them back on the seat before reaching up and shaking his brother again. "Saaaaammmmyyyyy." Sam groaned and swatted at Deans hand. "_Mmmmgoway_" Dean smirked and chuckled at Sams immature behavior. Getting out of the car he walked to the office and got the room with two beds before he went back out and grabbed his and sams duffles, slinging them over his shoulder he walked around to the passenger door and opened it carefully, slipping one arm behind Sams back and the other under his legs he grunted. "God damn sammy you weigh a ton." Balancing Sam, the duffles and walking he made his way slowly to the room and opened the door with only his hand before gently laying his brother down on the bed and pulling the covers over him. He then dropped the two bags on the floor and collapsed onto the other bed. Not even bothering to get under the covers.

When he woke several hours later it was to hear the distressed calls of his brother again. Jerking awake he stumbled out of his bed and over to Sams, not even bothering with trying to wake him he just climbed into the bed and wrapped his arms around Sam. "Shhh its ok Sammy, I gotcha. Im here. Nothing bads gonna happen." He murmured into his brothers ear, his hand stroking Sams hair. He began rocking back and forth, pulling Sam closer to him. Soon he felt his brothers arms tighten around him in return and the sobbing slowed. "_Dea?_" "Shh I'm here." "_Dea...it was...im sorry....my fault..._" "Shhh Sammy nothing was your fault, nothings your fault." He continued to stroke his brothers hair and rock slightly. Soon Sams sobs stopped all together and only silent tears streamed down his face. "See? Its ok..." "_Dea...It was horrible...the blood, it was you...they were killing you again. I cant lose you, I cant. Dea I...i cant...i need you...._" Sams grip tightened on Dean and Dean kissed the top of his brothers head. "Shh, i'm not going anywhere." Sam shook his head but scooted closer to Dean, which dean didn't think was possible. "_Love you, Dea._" Dean sat stunned for a few seconds before sighing and settling back against the pillows, letting Sam rest his head on his chest again. "Love you too, Sammy." He whispered, doubting his brother heard him if he was even still awake.

Later that night Dean slipped out from beneath his brother and decided it was time to go hustle some pool so he could get some cash. He'd just changed and slid on his Jacket when he heard his brother stir. "iDea?/i" "Go back to sleep Sammy, i'ma just go get some cash." "IBe careful./i" "Aint I always?" He asked, turning and smirking at his brother. Sam rolled his eyes before relaxing back into the bed, burrowing his face into the spot where dean had been and in hailed. It pained Dean to see his brother crying, it felt like someone was twisting a dagger in his heart, very slowly.

Once he was sure his brother was asleep he walked over, stroked his brothers head once before placing a kiss on the top of it and turned to walk out of the motel room. Of course he'd checked the salt lines before he left, and secured the door. Walking down the street to the bar he was there for several hours, returning before dawn with over five hundred dollars in cash. He pushed the motel room opened and his gaze landed on the sleeping form of his brother. Smirking he walked over to his bed and collapsed ontop of it. It seemed like minutes later when he was woken by his brother, though the sun was bright through the window. The only relief from the glare was his brothers shadow, as Sam kneeled over him. "Sammy?" He noticed that Sam had tear tracks on his face, and they weren't the dried ones from earlier. No these, the tears were still streaming down his face. "Sammy come on whats wrong?" "_I should have found a way to save you, Dea. I failed you, im sorry._" Deans words choked at this and he threw his arms around his brother. Pulling him down against him. "You didn't fail me." "_Yes I did._" "No sammy, you didn't." As his brother nodded he growled, yes thats right growled. "Listen to me Sammy and listen well. You didn't fail me, it wasn't something you could control. Yes I went to hell, but not from a lack of you trying to get me out of it. And you know what? I'd gladly do it again! Its MY JOB to protect you, to take care of you. I couldn't live with you dead, I refused to. You said earlier that you need me, well damnit Sammy. I need you too. You're where I belong." "_Love you Dea._" "Yea...me too. Me too."

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A/n: Yeaaa this chapter is all mushy. Basically I just wrote this as a filler chapter, while I decided how far ahead to jump for the next one. Hurt sam/ protective/comforting dean in this chapter. So sweet and yet they sound like girls. Ah well. R&R? :D Next chapter will be up ASAP.

Reviews are better then a shirtless jensen....

notreally.


	4. Breathe In, Breathe out

_A/n: I decided that the majority of this chapter will be a funny/goofy chapter. However there are moments that get a bit mushy, I couldn't resist. Next chapter they'll go back to hunting, I swear. -hides- Be forwarned, there is a spoiler for the newest episode of supernatural at the bottom of the chapter, so skip it if you don't wanna see/havent seen the episode._

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Chapter 4: Breathe in, Breathe out

It had been four weeks since Sam broke his ribs, they were healing nicely, in fact if Dean had to guess he figured they'd almost be healed. He figured it'd be safe for them to start hunting again, you know easy things where Sam stood no chances of being thrown into walls or trees....or stuff. Ok so maybe very little chance, because lets face it. All of their hunts were dangerous.

Dean was the first one to wake, and as he crawled out from his bed he walked towards the bathroom. It seemed that Sammy had been having his nightmares less and less lately, while Dean was happy to some degree he also missed holding his brother. It was one of the few times he could get away with being mushy, just shrug it off as being worried about his brother. However as he shut the bathroom door and stripped down, getting into the shower his mind whirled. How could he feel like this about his brother? These thoughts they were wrong, no normal guy would want to fuck their brother on tons of flat surfaces they see in everyday life. Hell he had even wanted to fuck Sam up against a wall outside a bar before, because of Sam flirting with some chick.

Glancing down he noticed that he was hard and a groan escaped vocals. Well that was just great, a glance at the door and a pause as he listened told him Sam was still asleep. Reaching down he gripped his cock and began to stroke it. His free hand braced against the wall as he closed his eyes and continued to stroke, letting the warm water run over his body. In his mind he unwillingly began to picture that it wasn't his hand stroking himself, but Sams. Shaking his head he tried to picture anything but that, however as he ejaculated the image in his mind had been his brother with his lips wrapped around his dick. Well that just totally proved how fucked up he was.

Fifteen minutes later, washed and totally ashamed of himself, he exited the bathroom. A glance towards the bed told him that Sam was awake, mainly because his brother was sitting on the side of the bed using the heels of his hands to rub at his eyes. "Morning sammy." "_Morning._" Dean walked over to his duffle bag and quickly dressed before turning and walking over to the bed. Sitting down across from Sam. "You gonna live?" "_Hm? Yea. Sorry bout last night._" "Don't worry bout it." He shook his brother before standing and walking towards the door. "Ima go grab some grub. You take a shower and get dressed cause you stink, bitch." "_Jerk_" Dean could hear the smile even though he didn't see it. Smirking he walked out the door and slid into the Impalas seat and headed down the road to the diner he saw coming in. Might as well get some decent grub right?

Walking into the diner a few minutes later he approached the counter and leaned against it. Smirking when he noticed the waitress was checking him out as she approached. Hell he couldn't blame her, he was sexy after all. "**Hey sugar, what can I get you?**" He knew there was a chance she meant other then food, but shrugged it off. "Three sausage biscuits with 4 hash browns and a Caesar salad. To go." "**Well someone has a healthy appetite, right away sugar.**" He resisted rolling his eyes while he waited for the food. After a few minutes she reemerged with his order. "**3 sausage biscuits, 4 hash browns, and a Caesar salad. All for you?**" "Thanks." He said, paying for the food. "And no, its for me and my brother." Oh how tempting it was to say boyfriend, but then he'd have to explain that to sam and well that'd just be all kinds of awkward. Picking up the food he turned and walked back to the impala before driving back to the motel.

Pushing the door open he dumped the food onto the table and glanced around the room. Noticing Sam walking out of the bathroom dressed, with a toothbrush in hand. Dean raised an eye brow and shook his head. "Breakfast is served. I got you the rabbit food you like." He said, holding up the salad. Sam grinned at him as he glanced at the toothbrush in his hand "_What? I hate morning breath._" "Uh huh, and ya couldn't wait for breakfast? I dunno if salad tastes like ass after brushing your teeth....come to think of it, i'm not sure if it never doesn't taste like ass." Sam simply rolled his eyes at his brother and turned to walk back into the bathroom. Only to re-emerge a few minutes later and sat down at the table across from dean. Dean of course had already begun helping himself to his food, making sure to push the 'rabbit food' far away from his precious meat. "Ya know, it wouldn't kill you to eat meat every now and then." He said, after swallowing down another bite. _"Oh yes, clogged arteries is totally the way I wanna die. No thanks." _Dean scoffed "Come on, one bite. It won't kill you. I swear, and if it does i'll bring ya back to life so you can kill me." Sam stared at dean, who was holding out his already half eaten sausage biscuit. "_Fine."_ He reached out and took the offending item that was offered and took a bite, before thrusting it back at his brother and forced himself to chew and swallow. "_Happy?_" Dean took the sausage biscuit and took a bite all while watching Sams face as he chewed. When he spoke he couldn't help it, he burst out laughing. "Sammy, what did the biscuit ever do to you? You looked like it had offended you some how." Sam put on his famous pouty face. "_It looked at me funny."_ This of course only caused Dean to laugh harder, though he was trying to force himself to stop. Sam after a few more minutes of pouting, also burst out laughing.

A short while later they were walking out to the Impala, Sam smirked as he looked at Dean, who was walking sort of ahead of him. Chuckling to himself, he thrust his arm out and lightly pushed Dean sideways, whom after catching himself from the stumble turned and pushed him lightly, sharing a smirk with him. He was glad that Sams ribs were almost healed, because well then for one he wouldn't have to worry about Sam whenever he winced or gasped in pain. As much as he loved comforting sam, it pained him physically when his baby brother was in pain, be it from a nightmare or from anything really. However now, seeing him smiling and goofing around, it reminded him why he loved him. His smile, well it could light up a room. Not really, but still.

Sliding into the impala Dean glanced at Sam. "Ready to get the hell out of dodge?" "_Yea._" They had been staying in the motel for a week or so, and he was going stir crazy. Which probably meant sir paces a lot, was going stir crazy as well. Putting the car in reverse he pulled out of his parking spot, before pulling out of the parking lot. They had already checked out earlier in the day, well really after breakfast that was. At least this motel he didn't have to carry sam in, he still remembered the odd looks he got when he carried his injured brother into that first one. Of course, anyone would think it odd to see a guy carrying a 6'4 guy who was passed out.

Five hours into the drive, he could tell that Sam was getting well.....restless. Mainly because his leg was bouncing in this annoying fashion that he always did, however he had yet to make any noise. No instead he was staring out the window, as per usual. Dean sighed lowly as he shifted about in the seat, his movement grabbing Sams attention. "_Want me to drive?_" Dean shook his head "Nah, i'ma stop at a motel in the next town." The only response he got was a grunt, and Sam went back to staring out the window. The silence stretched between them as they drove, Dean glancing towards Sam every now and then. After a few more minutes they pulled into another motel parking lot and Dean put the car in park, in one of the parking spaces. Sam went to get out of the car but was stopped as Dean grasped his arm. "_Dean?_" After a few seconds he shook his head and got out of the car, followed by Sam who was gazing at him questioningly.

They walked into the office together, bumping each other lightly as they walked. Dean held the door open and Sam walked In ahead, chuckling at Deans face because of the last shove he'd received had caused him to almost do a face plant. "I'll get you back for that, Sammy." "_Sure sure._" The person at the desk gave them a odd look, but seemed to eye sam up. Dean growled lowly under his breath at the dude, shifting closer to Sam. "**Can I help you?**" "Yea, checking in." "**King sized bed or two queens?**" "two queens." The dude frowned "**Figures**" He muttered under his breath and dean smirked however Sam frowned. The dude handed him the key "**Room 12A**" Nodding Dean turned and headed towards the door. Sam nodded and followed Dean out of the office, heading to the impala and grabbed his duffle bag. Dean grabbed his own and after glancing at Sam he lead the way to the room, unlocking the door and pushing it open. However what was revealed was...disturbing to say the least. Bright red walls and a burgundy carpet, with heart shaped beds and little hearts everywhere. The two shared a glance before shrugging, they had seen worse in their life.

"Well at least it isn't that horrific disco room. Remember, it had the twirling disco ball attached to the roof?" Sam smirked and chuckled as he walked over to his bed, dropping the duffle on it. "_God yea, I thought I was gonna have seizures cause of it._" Dean returned his smirk, and mimicked him in dropping the bag onto his own bed. Dean glanced over to his brother and sighed softly. He allowed his gaze to run over his brothers body before snapping away just as Sam looked up. "So, sasquatch." He said in a teasing tone. "I was thinking, you could look for a EASY hunt for sometime next week. Figure your ribs are healed enough to start hunting again." Sam turned to look at him, with a look that clearly read 'easy?' "_You're aware I broke my ribs on like, the easiest job ever. A ghost. Right?_" Dean simply stared at him for a few minutes. "Yea well.....avoid trees this time." "_Sure dean, i'll ask the ghost to throw me into pillows._" "Alright smartass." Dean smirked at his brother and walked over to him, pushing him backwards and causing him to fall onto the bed. Luckily the duffle bag had already been moved to the floor, or that coulda hurt. Dean collapsed onto the bed next to sam and quickly pinned him to the bed with his arms above his head. "So easily trapped." "_Hm."_ Was all Sam said before he twisted his hips, wrapped his legs around his brother and pushed. Throwing Dean off balance and causing him to crash onto the bed, releasing Sams arms and sam rolled; pinning dean down. "_Wouldn't bet on it._" A smirk just planted itself on Deans face, had he taught Sammy nothing? See, Sam hadn't pinned his hands, and thus he struck. Fingers tickling his brother causing him to collapse onto the bed in a fits of gasping laughs. "_Dea stop!!"_ "What? Tickle you more? Mmk" He continued his torture until Sams face was red and he was clutching his sides. "You ok?" "_Your....an....ass.." _Dean frowned, he had caused Sams ribs to hurt. He went to move off the bed but couldn't, because Sam had grabbed his arm and refused to let go. "Sammy?" "_But yes...i'm fine._" Sam pulled on Deans arm until he laid back on the bed, Sam moved to lean over his brother, staring down at him for several minutes. "Sammy?" "_Hm?_" Dean blinked up at his brother.

After a few more seconds he slowly leaned up, pressing his lips against Sams. When sam didn't pull away right off rip his arms wrapped around Sams neck, pulling him closer. He wasn't aware when he'd begun running his tongue along Sams bottom lip, or when Sam opened his mouth but his tongue was now exploring sammys mouth and a low moan escaped him. That sound and that sound alone seemed to snap them out of it and they both pulled away. Sam rolled off of him and sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor and running a hand through his hair. "Sammy?" Dean could tell Sam was disgusted with himself, with dean and it was breaking his heart. Moving towards sam he attempted to touch him, but Sam flinched away. Sighing he dropped his hand. "Sammy, i'm sorry...i...shit, i'm sick." He shook his head, and glanced at Sam out of the corner of his eye. Sam huffed and stood up off the bed, moving towards his duffle bag. "_I...I need to think._" Dean shook his head, shoving off the bed and striding towards Sam. "No, don't leave me. Please. Sammy." Dean was aware that he probably sounded like a girl, but damnit he didn't think he could live through loosing Sam again. Not again. Reaching out he grabbed Sams shoulders ignoring the flinch. "Please. Sammy I Love you, and i'm sick I know. Hit me, punch me, stab me I don't fucking care but i'm begging here. PLEASE dont leave me. I...I cant..." "_Cant what dean?_" Sam was staring at him now, looking at the broken expression on his brothers face. "I...I don't think... please don't leave me Sammy. I need you, don't leave me...please don't leave me." Sam watched as whatever resolve dean had snapped and tears started streaming down his face. The grip on his shoulders grew painful but he ignored it, wrapping his arms around Dean and crushing him against his chest. "_I'm not going anywhere._" "Please dont leave me." _"I'm not. Dea..."_ Sam forced Dean to look him in his eyes. _"If your sick, then so am I because I want you... I'm not going anywhere." _Dean looked at him for a few minutes before nodding, to shocked that Sam felt the same way he did to say anything. Sam smiled sadly down at Dean, before pulling him against him again. He ignored deans pathetic attempts to wriggle away, because they both knew if he wanted to get away he could. After a few more struggles he stopped and embraced his brother as well. He felt better, hearing sams promise not to leave him. Of course, he himself, had broken that promise before.

*****Deans Flashback******

They had just killed the whore of Babylon, well really he had. After loading Cas and the priest into the back of the impala sam looked at him. "_Dean, you're not planning on doing anything stupid are you?_" "Like what sam?" "_Like michael stupid._" "No sam." And then he slid into the impalas driver seat, waiting for Sammy before putting it in reverse and pulling out of the parking lot, heading back to their motel room. Cas was resting peacefully on the bed...well really he was sure that Cas was in pain, but the angel wasn't complaining. Sam was patching up the priest and Dean headed over there. "You ok?" Expecting the dude to give the usual answer anyone gives when asked, yes. "**No.**" He did a double take and nodded, glanced towards sammy. _Sorry sammy_. He then headed for the door. "_Dean where you going?_" "I'm just gonna get some fresh bandages from the trunk." It hurt him more that Sam just nodded and went back to dressing the wound. Shutting the door behind him he climbed into the Impala and started it. Glancing back to see Sam running after him before grabbing his hair In frustraion, the look on his face so pained and...betrayed. Dean didn't know why that one glance caused him to gasp in pain, forced him to pull over onto to the side of the road once out of sight. Why he fought with himself, resisted the urge to go back to his brother. He didn't know why it felt like someone was trying to rip his heart out of his chest. But he had to do this, he had to keep his sammy protected, safe. It was better this way.

****End flashback******

He looked up into Sams eyes before glancing away. "I'm sorry." "_Sorry? Why are you sorry?_" "For before.....when I lied to you.....when I left you.... I saw you, you know? It nearly broke me, the look in that rear view mirror. But I had to do that...i had to, for you...me....hell the world." "_I understand, and you're here now. Thats all that matters._" "Yea, and i'm not going anywhere." Because to be truthful, he needed Sammy to breathe.

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AN: Next chapter i'll try to get up by end of next week. No promises, because my moms legs getting amputated the 22nd. So yea, lifes gonna be hell. Anyone else pissed by the split of Sammy and dean in the show? I wanted to punch dean when he did that.


	5. O' Death

_Ok so someone left a comment about not using italics and bolds...so ima try that for this chapter...if ya'll find it easier to follow comment please? If not, in like a week or two i'll go through and edit it. -shrugs- Sorry its taken so long, and its shorter but lifes hectic right now and I just wanted to get this out for ya'll cause its behind._

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Chapter 5: O' Death

Sam had managed to find a hunt, be it boring and so fucking easy it was unreal. But he knew that Dean, being the over protective guy that he was, wouldn't allow him to do anything else. Sheila Long had been raped and murdered, dumped out in the woods in the middle of no where and her body had not found for a week. Sam felt sorry for her, no one should have to die like that. Alone, and in pain. Her murderers had never been caught, and now her ghost was killing hikers. Sam was currently laid out on the bed in their motel room, one of his arms thrown over his eyes. Dean was out talking to Sheilas family, and Sam was taking a break from research. He hadn't really turned up anything, except for the fact that she'd been raped, tortured and murdered. A sigh escaped his vocals as he ran his hand over his face before sitting up like a bullet.

He had to get a hold of Dean, if he didn't get back in like an hour. Yea he could wait that long right? Another sigh escaped him as he pushed up off the bed and stalked around the room, as dean would say like a caged tiger. Strolling over to his laptop that was perched upon the dining room table, he sat down in the chair and began searching for more information, anything really on Sheilas death. Next to his computer was a cup of coffee, that he reached over and grabbed every few minutes to take a sip of as it cooled. After awhile it was actually cold, and left ignored on the table as he stared at a picture of Sheila, why anyone would want to murder such a sweet looking girl was beyond him. But then again, dean always said demons he got, humans were just fucking insane and he was beginning to agree.

A half an hour later he heard the familiar rumble of the Impala pulling into the parking space outside their motel room. Though he was itching to go out and see dean he forced himself to remain seated, hands gripping the table until he heard the keys in the door and then the door opened. Revealing a haggard Dean, who walked in and slammed the door behind him. "Its official, I hate emotional women." Dean complained as he dropped the keys on his night stand and turned to face his brother, noticing the picture up on the laptop and Sams expression. "Whats up sammy?" He asked, walking towards Sam.

Sam frowned at dean, and twisted around in his seat "I found out how she died...its horrible dean. How can people be so cruel?" He was completely confused about this. "Dunno sammy, like I said...demons I get. Humans are just crazy." Sam was forced to agree in this case, not even demons would go this far. "They raped and tortured her, before murdering her." Sam whispered, pulling up the news paper clipping about them finding her dead body. "Thats some sick shit...did they ever find the people responsible?" Dean asked, looking down at Sam. Sams head shook as he glanced up "No...." Was whispered as he leaned back and allowed dean to sort of shelter him from where he was leaning over him; because sam had slid down some in the seat while waiting.

Dean looked down at his brother, he knew he needed some physical comfort and so he allowed his arm to slip from where he had it on the back of the chair to wrap around sams chest. "I found where shes buried. We can at least put her to rest eh? Keep her from hurting innocent people." Sam merely nodded and dean knew that he wanted to get vengeance for this girl. "We'll go out to her grave tonight, for now lets... go get some lunch?" Dean asked, rubbing his hand over sams chest as he moved to stand up. However his progress was halted when Sam grabbed his arm. "Not hungry...can we just...." Sam trailed off what he was gonna say and glanced down. "Yea sammy, come on." Dean pulled his brother up and lead him to the bed. Even if he wasn't the emotional touchy feely type, he knew what sam needed and right now he needed reassurance that Dean was there, and not going anywhere. Damnit dean would give him that too. So after pushing his brother down onto the bed and pulling his legs up, dean laid down on the other side and pulled sam over to him; wrapping his arms around his waist with sams head on his chest. "Thanks, Dean." Was all he heard as he smirked. It was so soft, that had he not been holding sam he probably woulda missed it. "I'd do anything for you, sammy." He whispered in reply, watching as sam cuddled up against him more, one of sams hands idly tracing patterns on his chest.

An hour or two after the sun went down, Dean peeled himself away from a slumbering Sam and quickly scribbled a note and laid It on the bed next to him before walking to the diner down the street to get them dinner. He was sure sam would be hungry, since they'd both skipped lunch. Pulling the door to the diner open he headed in, ordered their food and while he was sitting there waiting Cas appeared, causing dean to involuntarily jump. "Damnit Cas, wear a bell." The angel just tilted his head to this. "What now?" Dean hissed out, glaring at the angel as he settled himself on the stool next to dean. "Where is sam?" Castiel asked. Frowning dean raised a eyebrow. "Back at the motel, why?" He replied. Cas nodded at this, though he knew about Sam and deans feelings for each other he felt no sin in it. After them living through every thing they did, and all of the world being betrayed by god on the edge of the Apocalypse he believed they deserved whatever happiness they could find. "He was upset earlier when I stopped by, this case you are on has affected him greatly dean." Cas replied, turning to stare at the elder winchester. "Yes I know, I just spent the better part of the night with him...what those guys did to that girl...is wrong." Dean shot back. "No dean, I mean really affected him." "What do you mean?" Dean was now staring intently at the angel, trying to read between the lines. "That is for sam to tell you. Just know, that if you hurt him it will be me you have to answer to." Cas narrowed his gaze at the end, and dean shuddered. "Woah wait you know about....us?" Castiel nodded. "And you don't care?" This confused dean, he thought all angels believed incest was wrong, a sin. "No dean, because you and sam are my friends. I believe you deserve happiness wherever you can find it, considering the lives you live and what you've been through."

The waitress decided to walk up just then "Heres your order sweetie. Need anything else?" She asked, glancing between castiel and dean who were staring at each other. Dean glanced up and grabbed the bag. "No thats it thanks. Come on cas." He stood and walked towards the door, followed by castiel. Once outside dean smirked "And thanks....for being understanding, cas." Castiel simply nodded "I meant what I said dean, hurt him and answer to me." Castiel replied. "I understand...and I learned before not to piss off the nerd angels." Dean said, flinching at the memory of the beating castiel gave him when he thought dean was gonna say yes to michael.

They walked back to the motel room in silence after that, and dean lead the way into the room. After placing the food on the table he walked over to the bed, shaking sam gently. "Sammy, come on get up dude." "five..more...minutes." Sam grumbled, rolling away from his brother. This caused both dean and castiel to smirk, because it was usually sam who woke first. "Sammy, come on." Sam only rolled away again. Heaving a sigh dean leaned over and pressed his lips against sams, before moving to his throat and chest. Sam sighed and pushed blindly at dean. "Mmm stopit." He grumbled. Castiel decided now was the time to make his presence known to sam. "Samuel, wake up. Dean quit molesting your brother, I said I was ok with this...not that I want to see it." Cas said, a smirk in place. That worked, because sam shot up and pushed dean away from him. A bright blush coloring his face. "Castiel!" Moving off the bed he grabbed deans hand and dragged him to the table, his free hand rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Didn't dean tell you to wear a bell?" Sam asked, and dean snickered. "He came in with me, sam." Dean answered, sitting next to sam at the table while castiel leaned against the counter.

After eating dinner, which was a burger for dean, along with fries and a coke... sam had a salad, diet coke, and fries. Yes he was a odd one, but they didn't rub it in his face....often. They were now heading to the girls grave site to get this over with, Castiel had agreed to go with them and assist, since there was no god anymore he didn't have to answer to anyone...that and he had been exiled from heaven anyways. Bastards. Dean got the horseman, death to wack god since well he wasn't doing his job anyways so why still be 'alive'? As they pulled up to the graveyard, and climbed out Dean turned to sam. "I meant what I said, avoid trees or else. Got it sasquatch?" Dean warned, pointing at his still healing brother. "Yes dean." Sam grumbled, while castiel smirked at the two of them. Grabbing the shovel and gas container off the ground, castiel, dean, and sam all headed towards the grave. Castiel was apparently digging up the grave while dean and sam stood watch. Lucky him right? Dropping the container on the ground 'gently' and making sure it was upright before he started shoving the shovel into the dirt and making a neat little pile near by.

The body was almost dug up when the ghost made an appearance, pissed that someone was fucking with her grave she screamed in sams face before he blasted her with the shot gun; and in turn the rock salt. After she disappeared he turned towards dean, just in time to see her appear behind dean. "Dean! Down!" Dean dropped to the ground without hesitation and sam fired, another round through the ghost. It wasn't long before she reappeared, throwing sam off to the side and charging at dean. Sam lost his shot gun when he hit the ground, but luckily he missed any trees! Dean fired off another round into the bitch before turning to castiel. "Are you almost done?!" Castiel shoved down again and struck the coffin, breaking it open "Yea!" He replied, climbing out and dousing the grave in gas before throwing in the match. Sam rolled onto his stomach before getting his feet under him and standing, just in time to see sheila burst into flames as she had appeared before him again. "Sammy you ok!?" Dean called as he ran over. "Yea im ok, just winded is all." He replied. Dean ran his hands along sams sides before nodding and gathering up their things.

All three climbed into the impala and headed back to the motel, well sam and dean did. Castiel decided to angel out in the back seat....also known as disappeared. Once back at the motel dean and sam took their turns taking showers and dean checked his brother again, before they both climbed into the same bed with deans arms wrapped around sams waist and drifted off to sleep.

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_a/n: In case ya didn't notice.... I have it set after they defeat lucifer and such because well come on, they are just that awesome. Course I am disappointed at the turn of events in the show, dreading next weeks episode. D: Sammy = 33 Anyways, reviews are loved!_


	6. Author Note

Hey guys, this is just a little note to let ya'll know whats going on. I'm currently trying to find a Beta for this story, because i'd feel better if I had one, so if you read this and beta for stories like it, feel free to message me. I'm working on chapter 6 I swear, lifes been hectic as all hell lately. Mom has merssa and staph infection in her leg, that she just got amputated. Also, suggestions on what the boys should go after in the next few chapters would be great. :D


	7. Do you hear the Banshees wail?

Chapter Six: Do you hear the Banshees wail?

_A/n: Ok so sorry for the wait, heres a little treat. Hope you enjoy, see ya at the bottom of the page. Please read and review._

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The next morning Sam woke up, still wrapped up with his brother. Though their positions had shifted in the night, now instead of his back to Deans chest he was laying on his stomach, with one leg thrown over Deans leg and his head resting on Deans shoulder, though the only thing still the same were the strong arms wrapped around him. Sam was sure that his brother would tease him for this, but as he looked up he noticed at Dean was already awake, and those bright green eyes were staring down at him. There was a smile upon his lips before he leaned down and pressed them against Sams. "Morning Sammy." He murmured as he pulled back from the kiss. Sam smiled up at him "Morning." Dean let him lay there for a bit longer, because in all honestly he liked cuddling with his brother, of course if asked he'd totally deny it. No chick flick moments and all. About a half hour later they rolled out of bed. "I'm gonna take a shower, care to join me?" Sam asked, smirking at his brother. He knew Dean was never one to turn down a chance to fool around. It proved true too, because Dean nodded and followed Sam into the bathroom.

Sam turned and pulled Dean into the shower after he'd stepped in, pulling Dean against him and crushing their lips together. One of his hands were on Deans back, the other was roaming over deans body. Deans hands were in a similar position, that was until one reached down and grasped Sams dick. Sam gasped as Dean began stroking him, a low moan escaped his lips. Dean trailed kisses along his neck, and down his chest before sinking to his knees and taking him into his mouth. Normally he wouldn't go down on a guy, hell he'd never really thought about being with any guy until Sam. But of course, he would do anything for Sam. His tongue ran along the vein on the underside of his dick, and he hallowed out his cheeks, head bobbing. Sam groaned and his hips began to thrust, but Dean reached up and held him against the shower wall. "Dean..." He moaned, eyes closed and head tilted down. Dean looked up from his ministrations just as Sam opened his eyes. They were darker then before, hazed over with lust...and love? "Dean...im gonna." He warned, trying to pull Dean away, but dean pushed his hands away. That was all the warning Dean got before Sam exploded, of course he swallowed all of it he could before smoothly standing.

Sam glanced down at Deans still hardened prick and smirked, reaching down to grasp it, before he began stroking it. Dean moaned, leaning against Sam who was pressed against the wall. "God, Sammy." Dean braced himself against the wall, when he felt his brother shift and Sam sank to his knees taking Dean into his mouth. Dean gasped, hips thrusting forward even though he tried not to. Sam placed his hands on Deans hips, and began to bob his head, cheeks hallowing and tongue caressing his brothers dick, dipping into the slit every time he pulled back. "Mmm Sammy" Dean knew he was close, looking down at Sam, those lips wrapped around him it pushed him over the edge. "Sammy! Ima !" was all the warning Sam got before his prick began pulsing, releasing his load into sams mouth...who of course swallowed it all.

After washing off and slipping out of the shower, the two walked back into the room and getting dressed. Just as Dean was about to slip his shirt on he felt two arms wrap around his waist, pulling him back against Sams chest. "Sam. We need to start researching man." He groaned as he felt Sams lips traveling the side of his neck, his head tilting to one side to give his brother more access. "Mmmhm" Sam mumbled in reply, who would have known his little brother to be so...forward? Dean felt his eyes drifting closed as he pressed back against his brother, his hands roaming over Sams arms. Pulling away as his eyes opened he turned to face his brother. "Seriously dude." He huffed, and smirked at the pout Sam gave him. "Fine" Sam all but whined, pressing a chaste kiss against Deans lips before letting him pull away.

Sam planted himself at the table, pulling his laptop over and booting it up. Dean was going out to talk with the family, a old irish family oddly enough. They had recently moved here from Ireland, and thus it gave Sam a sort of...hunch as to what it might be, though he seriously hoped it wasnt. Digging through several false websites he finally found a legit site, about none other then Banshees... Sam blinked at the site, because it went against everything he'd ever heard bout Banshees, but whatever. Jotting down shit, and bookmarking the sites he closed the lap top and moved over to the bed, flopping back onto it. Flipping through the channels he settled on a music station, and folded his arms behind his head, letting his mind wander.

Ok so it was great...really great that his brother returned his feelings, but what if something spooked Dean? Would he call Sam a fucked up freak, more of a freak then they already knew him to be? Would he run? Sam honestly didn't think he could handle it, if his brother left him. Not again, to many times in his life had he seen those tail lights heading into the distance, without knowing if his brother would ever come back. Once was to much for him, and each time he thought about it he felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. He was unaware that tears were streaking down his face at the thought, nor how long he'd been lost in thought until he heard the familiar rumble of the Impala outside and sat up, looking out the window to see the darkness creeping across the land. Dean walked into the room with a large white paper bag in his hands, kicking the door shut he dropped the bag onto the table. "I got dinner!" Dean called, before turning and seeing Sam sitting there. The tear tracks were still wet, and one tear was still streaking down his brothers face. "Sammy! Whats wrong?" Dean asked as he quickly crossed the room and sank to his knees in front of Sam, his hand cupping his brothers face and thumb brushing away the tear. Sam blinked down at dean, a confused look crossing his face until he felt deans thumb wipe something away. "I'm fine...didn't even notice I was crying. I was just lost in thought man." Sam chuckled, and pressed a chaste kiss to deans lips. It always warmed his heart, how quickly Dean would drop everything and anything if he was upset.

Dean studied his brother for a few minutes, returning the kiss of course before nodding. "If your sure." He mumbled, not really a big fan of chick flick moments, which he was sure this would turn into if he pressed it. "Lets eat, im starving man." He easily got to his feet, grabbing Sams hand and pulling him to his feet before moving to the table and placing their dinners in front of each of them. His dinner was a double hamburger with everything on it, fries, a beer and of course a slice of blueberry pie. Sam smirked as he saw this, before looking at his own dinner, a salad with french dressing on the side, a diet coke and sun crisp chips, as well as a slice of strawberry pie. "Man, your eating habits are going to kill you someday." Sam joked, though he knew it was likely to happen. Dean rolled his eyes at his brother before digging in. Sam also began to eat, opening the salad and pouring on the dressing before he began to eat it. "So, what did you find?" Dean asked around a mouthful of half chewed hamburger. Sam made a face at him "Thats disgusting man." Shoving a napkin at his brothers mouth he shook his head. "Anyways, it turns out that Banshees are a type of fairy...according to this site. They are a warning to the family of someone whos about to die, but they only warn a family thats either Irish or Scottish. Anyways, they can appear as a grey, hooded cloak or the winding sheet or grave robe of the unshriven dead. She may also appear as a washer-woman, and is seen apparently washing the blood stained clothes of those who are about to die. " Sam said, taking another bite of his salad. "Ok so...how do we kill it?" Dean asked. Sam took another bite, and a sip of his coke. "Well...you can't really kill it, It'll only go away if the person dies or they're no longer in danger of dieing." Sam replied.

Deans face screwed up "Well how the hell do you stop someone from dieing?" He asked. Sam shrugged "Well, we gotta find out who in the Harrigan family its targeting...or well offering a warning about. Then we find out if they're sick or if someones just out to get them." Sam replied. "Easier said then done." Dean grumped, balling up his hamburgers paper and starting on the fries. "So true." Sam sighed. So freaking true.

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_A/n: Ok so sorry for the wait, life got hectic and I had writers block. That was my first guy/guy scene, so yea if it sucks sorry. Um I got an offer for a beta, but that was it. Dunno if they'd feel comfortable betaing graphic fanfics so I gotta talk to them some more. Already started on chapter seven, it'll be more about the Banshees._

_I'm irish, and couldn't feel right about them killing off a banshee, since most lore about them is just them as a warning to a death in the family. Most lore doesn't state of them hurting anyone or anything, though there is one movie I remember when I was a kid...i forget what it was called, but it had a banshee in it, and she was trying to kill the person. So I might end up changing to that...maybe. Depends on what ya'll say. So review, I love getting reviews. :D_


	8. Caledonia

Caledonia

_A/N: Harrigan is a irish last name, it has been made into a drinking song and was also a song in a musical once. It is also, my last name. Its Gaelic form is Ó hArgáin and means plunderer. If ya wanna hear a great song, search for 'Danny boy – Celtic Woman' 'Caledonia – Celtic Woman' or 'The Voice – Celtic Woman' on Youtube. They're three songs I adore.  


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Sam and Dean sat in silence, finishing their dinner before curling up on the queen sized bed they'd gotten in the motel room. Dean was currently watching tv, resting against the wall with the pillows behind his lower back. Sam was curled up next to him, his head resting on Deans chest while he too watched the tv, though he really wasn't interested in it. They'd head out in a few hours, to watch over the Harrigans house and see if the Banshee came around that night. But for now were enjoying in each others arms. Dean was watching some stupid tv show, Smallville or something. Totally lame if you asked him, it honestly ruined Superman in his Opinion.

No, Sams mind was thinking about the job tonight, sure the Banshees never killed the family, but what if it saw them as a threat and killed them? No one had ever had that problem before, but then again they did have rather bad luck. God he hoped their luck wasn't that fucking bad... Now that he thought about it, could a banshee even kill anyone? Hell if he knew, and he would dread to find out the hard way. Sam glanced up from his musings and looked up at Dean, who noticed to motion and looked down at Sam. Dean smirked before shifting and pulling his brother closer to him. Who would have figured Dean for the type to 'cuddle' not that sam was complaining, of course. "You alright there, Sasquatch?" Dean asked, his fingers idly running along the base of sams neck. "Hm?" Was sams brilliant reply. Dean smirked at this, his chest shaking at a suppressed chuckle. "So articulate college boy." Dean snickered "You zoned out for awhile there man. You ok?" He asked, concern leaking into his voice. Sam nodded against Deans chest. "Yea, just thinking." He replied. "Well be careful, that could be dangerous." Dean said, a smirk in place. "Haha." Sam grumped, lightly smacking his brother in the stomach. "Ow! So violent man." Dean grumped, rubbing the spot where Sam had hit him with the hand not currently stroking his brothers neck. "Aw, did I hurt you?" Sam asked, sarcasm thick in his tone. Dean nodded. "Should I kiss it and make it better?" Sam asked, not waiting for a reply before pressing a kiss against his brothers chest. In the spot where he'd hit him. He glanced up, before moving and kissing Deans chest three more times before taking on of Deans nipples in his mouth. Sucking on it before lightly biting it, smirking at the groan it extracted from his older brother. "Sam..." Sam however, ignored him and turned his attention to the other nipple, his hands moving across his brothers stomach and down to the jeans waistband. Brushing his fingers along the skin just above them he leaned up, pressing his lips against his brothers neck. "Dea..." Sam made sure that his breath caressed his brothers ear, before sucking on his neck, placing little nips and kisses as well.

Dean knew now wasn't the best time to get this started, because well why would he want to leave the bed if he had a naked sam in it? Knowing he needed to get sam to stop, was easier said then done. He moaned and arched into his brothers touch, head tilting to the side as Sam kissed, nipped, and sucked on his throat. "God...Sammy." He moaned, his hips bucking upwards. "Sam...we need to stop man." Sam however continued his task. Deciding he'd better take a more...forward approach he reached down and pulled Sams mouth to his, plunging his tongue into sams mouth and caressing every inch he could. Shifting them around so that Sam was on the bed, and he was on top. His hands wandered down, grasping Sams wrists and pulling them up above Sams head. Breaking from the kiss, he moved down Sams neck. "Sammy...I really...really want you." He said between kisses. "God Dea.." Sam groaned. "As much as i'd love to stay here, and fuck you into the mattress we have a job to do baby." Dean pulled back to gauge his brothers look. Sam had his bitch face on, with a touch of puppy dog eyes. "Later baby, I promise..." Dean swore, pressing a chaste kiss to Sams pouty lips. "SO not fair man...you better keep to your promise." Sam grumbled, sitting up when Dean rolled off him.

Dean leaned over and kissed him again, taking advantage when Sams mouth opened to plunge his tongue in. After several minutes he pulled back. "I give you my word." Dean replied, breathlessly. He and Sam both knew, that you're only as good as your word. Without it you weren't worth shit. Oh sure, you could promise someone the world but promises, were meant to be broken. He knew that by giving his word, Sam would know he'd keep to it. Sam stared into his eyes for a few seconds before grinning at him and nodding. Dean knew that Sam believed him, like he was suppose to. Releasing a sigh, dean stood from the bed. "We should get ready man." He said, looking down at Sam. Sam nodded and he too stood from the bed, moving towards the table before plopping down in the chair. His laptop was on the table in front of him, and it was open to banshee sites. Reading through them again he didn't notice Dean coming over until he felt his brothers hands on his shoulders. Reaching one hand up he placed it on top of deans. "It'll be fine." Dean said, squeezing Sams shoulders slightly. Sam relaxed back into the chair, his head resting against deans stomach. A sigh escaped him, how Dean knew what he was thinking still baffled him, surely dean couldn't read minds could he? Nah. As if Dean knew what his brother was thinking he chuckled, and ran a hand through Sams hair. "I'm your big brother dude, I can read you like a open book. That and you think loud." He smirked. Sam rolled his eyes at this, but a faint smirk was on his lips. Dean always knew how to make him feel better.

They stayed like this for a few minutes before Dean squeezed Sams shoulders again. "Come on man." He pulled away and headed towards the door. Sam lingered for a minute before standing and striding out to the impala after his brother, sliding into the passenger seat. Dean turned on the car, and Metallica blared from the speakers. It didn't take long before they arrived at the Harrigans house, and were parked just outside of it. Sam knew it was going to be a long night, and so he settled into a comfortable position. Angled away from dean, not that he wanted to avoid his brother but if he was touching him the temptation would become to much, and they were on a job after all. His head was resting against the window, his hand propped under his chin. Dean was in a similar position, and both were staring at the house.

Several hours later they heard the horrible wail that was the banshee. Dean was half way asleep, his head resting against the glass. It was sams shift, and he jerked in the seat, glancing around to see the Banshee heading into the house. Glancing at Dean he smiled slightly, before bolting out of the car after shaking Dean awake. "Come on man." He grumbled, and bolted up the house steps. Dean woke with a start as he was shook, and blinked sleepily. "Hmm?" he groaned, noticing Sam was gone. "Sammy?" Looking towards the house he caught sight of sam just as he went inside. "Shit." Dean scrambled out the the impala and bolted up the stairs just to see the Banshee throw his brother across the room, into the wall. The sickening crack that was heard seemed to echo in his ears. "Sammy!" He didn't know if it'd work, but he pulled the shotgun in his hand up and fired, hitting the bitch with rock salt. The banshee wailed and disappeared. Odd. He doubted she was gone for good, but it'd give him time to get sam out of there. Running over he dropped to his knees beside Sam and pulled him towards him. "Sammy?" He asked, running his hands over sam to check for breaks. "Mmm Dea?" Sam mumbled. "What have I told you about flying lessons, Sammy?" Dean asked, a forced laugh escaping him as he continued examining his brother the best he could. "Mmm To avoid flying lessons." Sam replied, leaning against Dean as he was lifted from the floor. "Thats right baby. Come on we're getting out of here. I'll come back later and deal with it. We know who its warning about now though." Dean said as he lifted his over sized brother up. The banshee had gone to the room of little Lilly Harrigan, so they assumed that was whom was in danger. Dean rushed Sam down to the impala and slid him into the back seat, before sliding into the drivers seat and heading back to the motel.

It didn't take long, before he had kicked open the door and set Sam down on the bed. Pulling his brothers shirt off he allowed his hands to roam up his brothers stomach, over his ribs and down each arm before moving down his legs. Of course he was checking for breaks, and let out a breathy sigh when he didn't feel any. "Damnit Sam." Dean grumbled, looking down at Sam who'd passed out as soon as he hit the mattress. Pulling Sam under the blankets after stripping him down to his boxers, tucking the covers around him. He quickly scribbled a note and placed it on the nightstand where he was sure Sam would find it. Before heading out to take care of that bitch.

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A/N: Sort of a 'hey look at this' chapter, its longer then the others cause I got into it. Next chapter will come out ASAP, course it might be awhile, considering my mom comes home tomorrow and shes gonna be a bitch most likely...shes a control freak. So yea, enjoy._


	9. Stay With Me

Stay With Me

_A/n: Sorry for the wait, I'll have the next chapter up hopefully before the end of this month. Promise. :D Enjoy._

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Dean couldn't believe his brother has got hurt, again. Ok sure there were no broken ribs, that he could feel anyways. But that was the least of his worries considering he had to save this girl from dieing. Yea like that was a easy job, not. He'd already walked outside and made sure the door was shut and locked, before slipping into the Impala. Unsure what was wrong with the girl, he decided on heading to the most reasonable place, the hospital. Pulling out of the parking lot he gunned it towards the local ER. He'd be damned if he let this bitch get away with hurting his baby brother. Sam meant more to him then anyone, he was Deans weak spot and sadly, the bad guys knew it. Sucked sometimes. But he would literally die for his brother. Hell, he had died for his brother, the thought of life without Sam? It caused his heart to stutter and made it hard to breath, that was like...living in a world without sun. Ok so that might have been stretching it a bit...or not considering he'd never speak any of this out loud. Strict policy against chick flick moments and all?

Pulling into the hospital parking lot he glided into a parking space and shut off the Impala. "Damnit Sam." He growled out as he pushed open the car door, careful not to damage it. God knows he'd be apologizing to his car forever if he did that. Which could seem a little...odd. But then again, she was the second most important thing in the world to him. Second only, to Sam. Forcing back the tears, that seemed unreal to him as he strolled...no thats not right, stalked towards the hospital door. Pushing them open he flashed the fake CDC(Center of Disease Control) badge and stalking past the nurses station. Once he was sure he wasn't being watched he slipped into the records room and started searching for the girls name.

After what seemed to be forever, but was really only like a half hour he found it. His jaw dropped open and eyes scanned, and rescanned the page. There was no way, she was so young? That just...wasn't right, it was cruel and evil. This had to be some kind of sick joke right? Reaching up he rubbed his eyes, blinked owlishly and looked back at the page. Nope still the same. "SON OF A BITCH!" He screamed, kicking a trash can across the room as he threw himself up from the chair. There right in plain sight was what was wrong. The girl had inoperable brain cancer... a tumor of the brain, going to kill her. Clenching his fists as he ground his teeth, shaking his head. What kind of sick fuck did this? God? God didn't even exist anymore! Not really, not to dean at least. Coward couldn't even stay to help fight when Lucifer got loose. He was a piece of shit as far as Dean was concerned.

Sam wasn't going to like this, stalking out of the room he paced, and paced before remembering her doctors name and tracking him down. Cornering him in his office. "Is Lilly on Chemo?" Dean asked, teeth clenched as he leaned on the desk, glaring down at the man. "Y..ye...yes. We...we a...re doing all we ca..a.n f..fo..for her." The doctor stammered and stuttered out. This caused a insane smirk to cross Deans face. "Do more, that little girl doesnt deserve to die, do I make myself clear?" As the doctor nodded he smiled. "Good." Turned and walked off. Looks like they'd be staying here for awhile. At least until he was sure that she would get better, that the banshee would be going away.

Walking back out to the Impala he slid in and headed back to the motel, desperate to get back to his brother and check up on him. After all that has been nagging at him the whole time, it was his job to protect his baby brother after all, to keep him safe and loved. He'd failed, and damnit if he wasn't going to rectify that situation as soon as he could.

Pulling into the motel parking lot he sighed, killing the engine and leaning against the steering wheel. The last while had been stressful, what with Sam getting hurt, finding out Lilly had cancer, and god...sam. He was in there, hurt. But dean, he needed time to think, to clear his mind. Folding his arms over the steering wheel and resting his head on his arms he let out a long sigh. He stayed like that until someone tapped on his window...

-Break-

Sam woke up and found the motel room well, empty. He vaguely remembered what happened, they'd been at the harrigans and the banshee had struck. As he rolled onto his side he winced and gasped, but the paper on the night stand. He had to get it, so he moved again. Clutching his side as he sat up, they were totally bruised. After he'd sat up he reached out and snagged the piece of paper, noticing right off rip that it was his brothers hand writing on it. A smirk played across his face. The note read

'Hey babe,

If you wake up and i'm not there, stay in bed. Yea thats and order mr. I went to figure out how to kick some banshee ass, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Theres some pain killers next to the note for you, incase you're really sore. As well as some water. I mean it, bed rest mr or i'll kick your ass.

Dean'

Sure he hadn't signed it 'love dean' but it was there, in the way he stressed staying in bed. A low chuckle escaped Sam, causing him to wince. Damn that hurt. Not that he really cared, pushing up off the bed he walked to the bathroom to take a piss, brush his teeth and wash his hands. As he walked out of the bathroom he felt more then heard the Impala pull up. Peering out of the window he spotted dean resting his head against the steering wheel, he looked so broken. Pushing aside his pain he pulled the door open and walked out; with a slight limp. Tapping on the window, he waited for Dean to roll down the window or open the door, and once he did he frowned "Dean what are you doing?" Sam asked at the same time Dean said "What happened to staying in bed?" They both frowned at each other before Sam leaned down, wincing and pulling Dean from the car; of course dean allowed this, not wanting to harm sam even more. Pulling him away, sam shut the impalas door and dean locked it, before Sam dragged him inside, silent as ever. When they were inside, Sam made sure the door was locked and the salt line undisturbed, before leading Dean over to the bed and pushing him down onto it. "Sam-" But Sam cut off any of Deans protests by pressing his lips to his, and crawling over him as Dean scooted back. Their tongues battled for dominance before Sam let Dean take over. After what seemed forever, they broke apart and Sam curled up against his brothers side, wrapping his arm around Deans waist and resting his head on his shoulder. "Stay with me?" Sam asked, and Dean couldn't resist the pleading tone that his brothers voice held. So Dean wrapped his arms around Sam gently and sighed, releasing a very low "Always" so softly with the sigh, that Sam almost missed it. Almost.  


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_A/n: Progress right? Least now they know whats wrong. Well, Dean does. R&R? I need suggestions, Ideas and such for more chapters. Otherwise the end will be loaded sooner then I hoped. Its already written out and everything._


	10. All I Need

All I Need

_A/n: Yes thats right, two chapters in two days. I'm on a roll. Not. Anyways reviews would be great.  
Warning: Sex scenes in this chapter.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, even though it'd be great to own Sam and Dean. -cackles- Lucky Kripke. D:_

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Sam woke up with Dean spooning him, his arm was draped over Sams waist, and his other arm was folded under his head. Sam smiled, and shifted around slowly, mindful of his bruised ribs. It took a few moments before he was facing his brother, and a slight smirk played across his face. As he lay there, watching his brother who was still asleep he realized that all he needed to survive this cruel world, the world where he'd watched so many he knew and cared for die... was his brother. If he had Dean, then he would survive, through whatever life threw at them. He reached out with one of his hands and grasped his brothers hand, his free hand brushed lightly over his brothers face. In a 'chick flick moment' Dean was just so gorgeous as he slept, the years of stress seemed to be erased as he slept. He was so innocent looking, of course that was anything but the truth. Even Sams brief touch was a risk, for the hunter senses both of them had could result in violent reactions when waking after being disturbed. Call it survival instincts perhaps?

Whatever it was, could prove dangerous should enough pressure be applied into the touch. Thus was the reason Sams hand caressed Deans face lightly. A barely there touch, as he allowed his eyes to study his brothers face. Watching as his breathing changed and he woke, eyes pulling open causing Sams breath to catch for a moment. When Dean opened his eyes, it allowed for the briefest of moments a chance to see all the emotions he was feeling at the moment before the mask slipped down so to speak. What Sam saw was love, unconditional love. As well as comfort before he allowed his eyes to focus. "Mmm Morning Sam." Dean mumbled before noticing their position and begin to tug at his hand while pulling his brother closer to him and pressing his lips against Sams. Sam smirked as he was pulled closer, it seemed that Dean was in a good mood, a rare mood considering. Dean rolled over so he hovered above his brother, his tongue ran across Sams bottom lip, begging for entrance which was gladly granted. As his tongue explored Sams mouth he moved one hand down his brothers side, tweaking a nipple through his shirt on the way down before slipping under the hem of the shirt. He caressed the skin there for a moment before his hand began to move up again, bringing the shirt with it. Pulling away from the kiss he pecked his brother on the lips again before pulling the shirt off of him and moving to his neck.

He began to pepper kisses along it, before moving to more sensual kisses, lightly nipping and sucking on Sams neck. He smirked when his brother moaned beneath him. "Mmm Dea" Dean pulled back and gave a sly smirk "Yes?" He asked, pulling a total innocent look as his hand caressed and rubbed his brothers chest; stopping to play with his nipples every few trips. "More..." Sam moaned as Dean moved lower, taking one of Sams nipples into his mouth, circling it with his tongue and lightly biting it. Sam arched into his touch and placed a hand on Deans head pushing slightly. Pulling away he grinned "Impatient are we?" He asked while Sam groaned "Deaaaaaa" A low chuckle was released before he returned to his ministrations while his hand slipped beneath Sams boxers and grasped his shaft. "DEA!" Sam cried out as he arched again, Dean smirked and began to stroke him, slow at first but the pace quickly increased. His free hand slipped down as well, pushing the boxers down one handed was slightly difficult. Moving down with his mouth he pulled his hand away before grinning and swallowing Sam whole. Sams hips thrust forward almost gagging Dean, so he moved his hands to pin his brothers hips down as his head began to bob, hallowing out his cheeks as he did so. On the up motion he allowed his tongue to circle the head before he went down again, only to swallow around Sams prick or hum. "Dea!" Sams hand clenched around what little hair dean had as his hips tried to thrust up. Dean knew his brother was getting close, so he shifted around using one arm to pin his brothers hips as the other drifted lower. Pulling back from Sams dick he quickly soaked his fingers in saliva before returning to his previous ministrations, only giving Sam time to whimper at the loss.

Glancing up he hummed around Sam causing him to gasp and arch again, but none the less he looked down at dean. Dean studied his brothers eyes as his head bobbed, before circling his brothers puckered entrance with a slick finger. Sam blinked and stared at dean, a question forming in his eyes as he gasped and moaned. As Dean slowly pressed the finger into him, up to the first knuckle he gasped out in pain. Dean released him and leaned up, peppering kisses across his face. "Shhh its ok babe. Breath. We can stop if you want to." Sam shook his head at deans words. "No...I want this" He whispered, before pulling Dean into a heated kiss as Dean continued to work his finger inside of him. When they finally broke Dean searched his eyes again before nodding "If you're sure babe." He replied. Sam nodded "I am. I want this, make me yours." "Always." Dean whispered, kissing his brother again before inserting another finger, pausing as Sam winced. He let Sam get used to the feeling of the intrusion before he began to scissor them. He slipped down his brother again and took him into his mouth again, wanting to give Sam pleasure during this considering he knew this was his brothers first time. He continued to hum around Sam, feeling as he clenched around the fingers before his dick pulsed and he started cumming, dean swallowed it all of course. Kissing his way up his brother he kissed him deeply, slipping in another finger and slowly began stretching him even more. Sam pulled away from the kiss and gasped out "Dea, i'm ready please...mooooreee" The last word was moaned as Deans fingers brushed his prostate. Dean smirked at this and looked down at him "You sure?" Sam nodded and dean pulled his fingers out gently. Sam whimpered at the loss. "Shh its alright babe." Reaching into the nightstand he pulled out lube, something that he always had which used to annoy Sam but at the moment, Sam didn't seem to be complaining. Dean slicked up his hard member, before shifting and positioning himself at his brothers entrance. "This'll hurt, you gotta relax and i'll go slow." He warned, Sam nodded his consent and took a deep breath releasing as Dean pushed into him. At Sams scrunched face, a sign of pain he stopped and waited as his brother let out breath after breath, before relaxing. Dean placed a kiss on his brothers face as he slowly pushed in more, stopping at any sign of discomfort. This went on until he was fully seated. Leaning down he kissed his brother again, slipping his tongue into Sams mouth and moaning into the kiss. All to soon he broke it "God sammy, so tight." He forced himself to remain still, to wait for his brothers consent to move.

It turned out he didn't have to wait long "Move" Sam whispered, lifting his hips to get Dean into action. Dean gasped, and slowly pulled out before pushing in again slowly. It started out slow, very slow as he didn't want to hurt his brother. "Dea, faster." Sam groaned, moving in sync with his brother. Dean nodded "Anything." He whispered as his pace increased. Leaning down he began to kiss, suck and nip his brothers throat, making sure to keep his thrusts at a set pace. It wasn't easy, with Sam moaning out his name, clutching at his sides and back...god. As his thrusts increased he could feel his orgasm growing, shifting he balanced on one arm as the other snuck between them and began to stroke Sam in time to his thrusts. The moans and cries of pleasure from Sam increased. "Cum with me Sammy." Dean whispered into his brothers ear. "Oh god...DEAAAAAA" Sam cried as he exploded, milking Dean for all he was worth in the process. Dean continued to thrust through their orgasms, slowing until he gently pulled out of his brother and flopped to the side, pulling Sam into his chest. "I love you, Sammy." He said, planting a kiss on the back of Sams neck. "Mmm I love you too, Dea." Dean was all sam needed, and Sam was all dean needed. It was just a way of life. Dean smiled as he wrapped a arm around his brothers waist. _I could never live without him._ Was the last thing Dean thought before he drifted off shortly after his brother, his lover and friend.

Dean woke a few hours later, in a similar position that Sam had woken to that morning, except that Dean was on his back with his arm curled around Sam from under him, holding him to his chest. Sams head was resting on his shoulder and his breath tickled his neck with each exhale. Sam had an arm thrown over his waist, as well as curled up on his chest with his hand splayed out. Dean couldn't help but smile and press a kiss to the crown of Sams head. The arm that was curled around him moved as he began to run his fingers through his brothers hair. Sam moaned in his sleep and shuffled closer to Dean, letting out a content sigh that sounded a lot like 'Dea' His face nuzzled into Deans chest and his arm tightened, causing dean to chuckle slightly. He was adorable when he slept. He allowed a smile to spread across his face as he held his brother, not having the heart to disturb him.

About thirty minutes later Sam woke, yawning as he did and nuzzling into Deans chest. As he inhaled he caught scent of the gun powder, leather, sweat, sex and dean. Opening his eyes he slowly took in his surroundings, realizing he was curled up against Deans chest he tightened his arm and pressed several kisses to Deans chest before looking up into those eyes, eyes that could make his knees go weak with one look. Yet they were the same eyes that could show such cold hated, and disappointment. He was well acquainted with the latter. "Morning...well afternoon, sleepy head." He heard and felt his brothers chest vibrate with silent laughter. "Dea." Was all he said in reply before stretching up to press his lips against deans, which of course deepened. Deans tongue ran across Sams bottom lip, begging for entrance which was of course given happily. As his tongue explored Sams mouth his hand moved down his brothers back, and then up again before tangling in Sams shaggy hair. After what seemed forever they were forced apart by the need for air, however Dean only pulled back and moved to Sams neck and Sam gasped for air. Sams arms wrapped around his brothers body, tugging him over his own body. As their cocks rubbed together they both moaned, Sam slightly louder then his brother at Deans ministrations. "Dea...we gotta stop. Case and such." Sam gasped out. As loathe as Dean was to admit it, his brother was right and he reluctantly rolled off to the side, kissing Sam lightly once more. "I hate when your right, College boy." Dean complained. Sam smirked "One of us has to be smart Dea." He replied caressing his brothers face. "Later, I promise." He added when he saw the start of his brothers rare pout, one he did when he didn't get his way. "I'm holding you to that, Sammy." Dean replied before allowing Sam to roll away from him. He watched Sam wince when he sat up, and rolled towards his brother. "You ok?" He asked as an arm wrapped around Sams waist, keeping him from standing. "Yea, just a little sore. I'll be fine." Sam replied, reaching down and grasping Deans hand that had wrapped around his waist, squeezed it and then stood up. "Ima go take a shower." He said after turning to face dean. "Can I join you?" Dean asked, allowing a sexy smirk to play across face. Sam shook his head "We both know that there wont be any cleaning if ya come with me Dea." Sam replied. "Cum with you? Hm sounds like a plan." "Dean..." "Fine fine. Go take your shower Samantha, I'll wait my turn." "Good boy, Love you." "Love ya too, Sammy." Sam turned and walked into the bathroom, a few minutes later Dean heard the shower.

Dean sat up on the bed and ran a hand through his hair, since when did he become all mushy around Sam? He was suppose to be closed off emotionally, cold hearted and even cruel at times. However he supposed Sam had always brought out his soft side. It must have been the fact he'd practically raised his brother, and they knew each other better then anyone else. He'd kill if it'd keep Sam safe and with him. As he sat there, listening to the shower he allowed his mind to drift.

***Flashback***

"Doctor check his wound again would ya?" Dean asked as he paced the room, watching his brother as he held gauze to the wound a Croatoan infected person inflicted. He feared that Sam had been infected, and that would be bad. The doctor continued to just stand there, and when Sam looked up at him from his staring at the floor Dean turned to the doctor. "Doctor!" He said sternly, causing her to jump. "Whats she even examining him for? You saw what happened." Sarge said. "Did her blood actually enter your wound?" The doctor asked Sam. "Come on! Of course it did!" Sarge interrupted. "We don't know that for sure!" Dean replied, anger lacing his tone. How dare this guy suggest that his brother was infected. If that was true he'd have to... he'd have...he didn't even wanna think about it. "We can't take a chance!" Duane said. "You know what we have to do." Sarge agreed. "Nobody is shootin my brother" Dean said, tone holding finality. He would take out anyone that tried. "Hes not going to be your brother much longer, you said it yourself." Duane argued. "Nobodys shooting anyone!" Dean replied, the anger in his tone growing. "You were going to shoot me!" Duane yelled. "You shut your pie hole or I still might!" Dean yelled back. "Dean, they're right." Sam said, his tone holding conviction, but sorrow as well. He didn't like seeing Dean so upset. Dean turned towards him as he continued. "I'm infected, just give me the gun and i'll do it myself." He finished. "Forget it." Dean replied. "Dean i'm not going to become one of those things!" This time Sams voice raised, why didn't Dean understand? "Sam we still got some time" Dean said, trying to reason with his brother. "Time for what? Look I understand hes your brother, and I'm sorry I am. But I gotta take care of this." Sarge said pulling out his gun and aiming it at Sam. "I'm only gonna say this one time. You make a move on him and you'll be dead before you hit the ground. You understand me? Do I make myself clear?" Dean interrupted, pissed that someone would even suggest shooting his brother. "Dean!" Sam tried. "Then what are we suppose to do?" Sarge interrupted. Dean looked at Sam before fishing out his cars keys. "Get the hell out of here thats what. Take my car, you've got the explosive theres an arsenal in there. You two go with him. You got enough fire power to handle anything now." He said tossing sarge the keys. "What about you." Sam was giving him a shocked, confused face. Dean looked at Sarge and then Sam and back at Sarge. Sarges face changed from confusion to understanding. "Dean no. No. Go with them." Sam said, his tone pleading. He wouldn't let his brother stay here, he didn't want to kill his own brother. "This is your only chance." He added.

"Yea well, you aren't getting rid of me that easily." Dean replied. "No hes right. Come with us." Sarge tried to convince him. But Dean had already made up his mind. If Sam was gonna turn, if he was infected then Dean was gonna be right there with him. Dean turned towards Sarge with a sad expression, Sarge nodded. It was clear that Dean wasn't gonna leave his brother. "Ok hes your funeral." Sarge said, turning and walking out of the room with the other two in tow. "I'm sorry Thanks for everything marshals." The doctor said. "Uh actually we're not really marshals." Dean replied. "Um...oh." The Doctor said as she walked out, and Dean locked the door behind her. Turning around he looked right at Sam, who looked pissed but the tears building in his eyes told Dean that he was scared. Dean gave him a sort of shrug "Wish we had a deck of cards. Or a fooze ball table or something." He said, looking away from Sams angry look. He slowly walked away from the door to stand in front of Sam. "Dean don't do this." Sam said, his voice soft and sad. "Just get the hell outta here." He added on, glancing towards the door. "No way" Dean replied, glancing around before looking into Sams pleading face. The tears that were building before were now threatening to spill over. Sam sucked in a deep breath, licked his lips and looked at Dean "Give me my gun, and leave." He said, looking at the door again.

"For the last time Sam...No." Dean replied, shaking his head as he held eye contact with Sam. After a few seconds he started to turn away. Sam got pissed, gritted his teeth before punching the table he was sitting on, causing Dean to turn and look at him. "This is the dumbest thing you've ever done." Sam said, anger lacing his tone but the tears that started to leak out showed he was scared, upset and well pissed. "I dunno bout that." Dean replied, avoiding looking at Sam. "Did you forget about that waitress in tampa?" Dean asked, trying to joke as he faked a shutter. "Dean i'm sick." Sam said, his tears flowing freely now. Dean sighed and looked at his brother. "Its over for me. It doesn't have to be for you." Sam added on when Dean didn't say anything. "No?" Dean asked. "No. You can keep going." Sam pleaded. "Who says I want to?" Dean asked. They stared at each other for a few moments. "What?" Sam finally asked, confusion thrown into the mix of emotions on his face. Dean turned away and walked over towards the wall, leaning against some medical equipment facing his brother. He reached behind him and pulled the gun from his waistband. "I'm tired Sam. I'm tired of this job. This life. This weight on my shoulders man, I'm tired of it." Dean replied. "So what, you're just going to give up?" Sam asked, he'd heard the tone his brother had spoken in. Never before had he known Dean to give up. Dean was a fighter, he had to keep going. "I mean, you're just going to lay down and die?" Sam asked. "Look dean I know the stuff with dad -" He started but Dean cut him off. "Your wrong." Sam looked at him, questions in his eyes. "Its not about dad." Dean continued. "I mean, part of it is sure." He added. "Then what is it about?" Sam asked, refusing to let Dean give up. However before they could respond, the doctor came back and told them they had to come see something...

***End flashback***

Dean came out of his thoughts at the sound of the bathroom door opening. "Dea?" Sam asked as he noticed his brother staring off into space. "Yea?" Dean asked, looking over to see Sam standing there with just a towel on. "Showers free." "Mk." "You ok?" "Yea Sam, just thinkin." "Did it hurt?" "Haha college boy." Dean stood up and walked towards the bathroom, and towards Sam."I was thinking about when Sarge almost shot you." He said before giving his brother a kiss, that started out chaste but deepened when he felt Sam tongue run across his bottom lip. Wrapping his arms around Sam he pulled him closer, their tongues battling for dominance as Deans hands roamed his brothers back. When they broke apart both were panting for breath. "I remember, you were being a stubborn jackass and refusing to leave, to save yourself." "Thats because I knew that I cant live without you. If you were going to have to die, then so was I." "Good thing it didn't come to that. Hm?" "Yea." Dean said, caressing his brothers face. "Good thing." He gave him a chaste kiss before moving past him and into the bathroom. He totally needed a cold shower.

Sam chuckled as his brother moved into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Shaking his head he went and got dressed before pulling out his Laptop and settling down on the bed, leaning against the headboard as he researched future hunts that they could do when they got done with this. However as he browsed news papers he gasped at what he saw 'Lilly Harrigan died last night due to a aneurysm. Funeral to be held on June 12th, and Beckers funeral home.' Closing the laptop, but not completly he stared at the bathroom door. She had died...so sudden. She'd been good a few days before when he'd seen her. Putting the laptop on the nightstand he stood and strode towards the bathroom. Pushing the door open he walked in "Dea?" He whispered. Dean barely heard him and turned towards him, at his expression he frowned. "Sammy, whats wrong?" Stepping out of the shower, not caring that he was soaked and nude he walked towards his Sammy. "Lilly died, its in the news paper... She died from a Aneurysm last night." Sam mumbled. Dean walked towards him and wrapped his brother in a hug, no matter how much death they dealt with it was always harder when little kids died. "Shh..." He said as Sam started to cry, burying his face into Deans neck and wrapping his arms around his brother, clinging to him. Neither cared that Sam was now soaked. All Dean cared about was comforting his brother, and all Sam cared about was loving Dean, because the girls death proved just how suddenly a loved one could go. "Make love to me, Dea?" He whispered in his brothers ear. "You sure?" Dean asked, pulling back slightly. He knew Sam had to be sore, considering it had been his first time. "Your already sore babe." "I don't care, I can take it. Dea, please. I need this. Her death, it proves it just proves that I could lose you, just as suddenly as they lost her. Please." Sam pleaded. Dean searched his brothers gaze before leaning in and pressing his lips against Sams. His tongue automatically pushed into Sams mouth as they battled for dominance, and for once Dean let Sam win. Dean moaned into the kiss as his hands wandered down his brothers back, slipping under the hem of his shirt before pushing it up. They broke from the kiss only long enough to strip off the shirt. When Dean moved back in he plundered his brothers mouth as his hands worked on Sams jeans, undoing the button and zipper before pushing them and the boxers down.

Gently pushing Sam back they backed towards the bed until Sams legs hit and he fell onto the bed, he'd already stepped out of his jeans and boxers along the way. Dean fell with him, but braced himself with his arms as he moved from Sams mouth to his neck. Kissing, nipping and sucking on it as his hands roamed his brothers chest. Playing with his nipples, Sam moaned and arched into Deans touch. His lips of course followed his fingers path as he moved down, sucking and biting Sams nipples gently, before circling them with his tongue. He did this to both of them, glancing up as Sams moans increased. Kissing lower he slipped off the bed, nipping at his brothers hip bone as he went lower. Once he reached Sams erection he took it into his mouth, sucking and bobbing as his cheeks hallowed. When he pulled back his tongue circled the head, and when he went down it caressed the underside of the prick, focusing on the vein there. After a few bobs he finally deep throated Sam, causing his brother to moan extra loud "Oh FUCK!" He cried out, his hips thrusting up. Dean chuckled before pinning Sams hips to the bed. Pulling back he released his brothers shaft with a audible pop. Sam whimpered at the lost of the moist hot heat around him. "Shh. Sammy, I wanna try something. If you want me to stop, just tell me ok?" Dean asked. "Yes, Dean." Sam moaned out as Dean continued lower, circling his brothers puckered entrance with his tongue causing Sam to gasp and jerk, but he didn't say stop. Thus Dean continued, and smirked as his brother moaned and began to wriggle on the bed.

Dean kept his brothers hips pinned, but allowed one hand to drift down as he stroked his brother just as his tongue began to push into his brothers entrance. Sam gasped in pain, and Dean stilled before he heard a moan of pleasure. As he started to thrust his tongue in and out of his brother he continued to stroke Sam, getting harder at his brothers gasps, moans and groans of pleasure. "Deaaaa" He moaned out as Dean continued, feeling his brothers channel clenching around his tongue and his prick pulsing. Dean continued to thrust his tongue in and out as his brother exploded, moaning out a "DEAAAAA!" As he came down Dean pulled his tongue out and crawled up, licking his brother clean. He continued to climb up his brother, leaning down and kissing Sam. As they broke apart Sam grinned at him. "Oh, that ain't all baby." Dean whispered as he began sucking on Sams neck, listening as Sam started moaning again, he reluctantly pulled away to fetch the lube from the nightstand before he slicked up three fingers. Following the path he had before he moved back down, smirking as he saw his brother was already hard again. Taking him in his mouth once more, he began to bob, hallowing his cheeks and circling the head. Once he had Sam moaning and wriggling again he slipped one slicked finger into his brothers entrance, pausing as Sam tensed. Instead of pulling back from Sams prick to comfort his brother, he decided to distract him. Moaning as he continued his ministrations, before swallowing around Sam. It worked, for his brother moaned and began to relax as his hips tried to thrust up. Dean moved his finger around for several moments before slipping in another, scissoring him open.

Sam was already somewhat loose from the tongue fucking he'd gotten, but Dean wanted to make sure he was really loose, god forbid he cause Sam unnecessary pain. He'd never forgive himself if he did that. As he pushed the third finger in and began to stretch Sam, his brother began to get impatient. "God damnit Dean, quit fucking around and fuck me." He growled out, causing Dean to smirk. "Your wish, my command." Dean replied, pulling his fingers out and slicking up his hard member before crawling up Sam. "I love you." He said, kissing Sam deeply as he began to ease into his brother. Stopping every few inches to give Sam time to adjust. Once he was fully seated he stopped and waited, pulling back from the kiss and searching his brothers eyes. At Sams nod he began to thrust, slowly. Sam wrapped his legs around Deans waist and began to meet his thrusts, this wasn't a fast, hard fuck no.. they were making love. Dean continued to plant kisses over Sams face, and neck as he thrust into his brother, slowly and evenly. He aimed to brush his brothers prostate with each thrust, causing Sams orgasm to grow quickly. "God, Dea. Ima..." Sam tried to warn before he exploded, cum coating their chests and stomach as his channel tightened. "Sammmmmm" Dean moaned out as he too came, thrusting through their orgasms. As the thrusts slowed even more, and stopped Dean pulled out slowly, kissing Sam as he winced before flopping to the side and once again pulling his brother to his chest. Running his fingers through Sams hair, Sam released a contented sigh. "Love you too, Dea." Sam said, curling into his brothers side with his head on Deans shoulder. "Always." Dean whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Sams head. "You're all I need, Dea." Sam whispered, his eyes drifting closed. "Same here Sammy, Same here." Dean replied, pulling Sam closer as he pulled the covers over them and they drifted off to sleep.  


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_A/N: So, What'd ya'll think. Like the treats I threw in? A friend helped me out with the sex scenes, cause well hello virgin me. This chapters really long, because ya'll have been patient with me and i appriciate it. R&R? Thanks._


	11. Greatest Man I Never Knew

The Greatest Man I Never Knew

_A/N: Heres the next chapter. Its basically to explain why Sam reacted the way he did back in chapter 5. Twinchester Angel noticed that I hadn't explained that, so this is for her mostly. Next chapter will be up soon I hope._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, lucky Kripke_

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_Sam was walking down the sidewalk with Jessica, she was clinging to his arm as she laughed and joked with their friends. Sam smiled here or there, laughing once or twice but his mind was distracted. He was worrying about his brother, his father. Were they still alive? Did they miss him as much as he missed them? "Sam?" Jess called to him and he blinked, looking down at her. "Yes?" "You ok?" "Yea, just thinking is all." "About them?" "Yea..." Jess let it drop then, she knew there was something more to Sams story then he told her. He always seemed so sad whenever he thought about or mentioned his brother._

_The next time she called to him, was to tell him they were at the club and he nodded, walking in and wrapping an arm around her waist pulling her into his side. Glancing around the room they spotted a booth and headed towards it, he let Jess sit down first before sliding in. Their friends wandered off to dance, drink and have a great time. Sam leaned back in his seat and draped a arm behind Jess, as he nursed his beer. She was drinking a strawberry daiquiri. "Sam, I'm so proud of you." She said, scooting into his side. "Thanks." He replied, leaning down to press his lips against hers. "What would I do without you?" He asked, rhetorical of course. "Crash and burn?" She replied, clearly joking with him. "Mm, probably." He replied and smirked. However a feeling of unease fell over him and he glanced around, noticing that one of their friends was missing. "Wheres Derick?" He mumbled and she glanced over "Bathroom?" He stood "Ima go find him." Jess just nodded, used to his sixth sense for danger or something._

_Sam pushed his way through the crowd, grabbing Jason as he passed. Once they reached the bathroom they heard signs of a struggle as well as the sound of someone being smacked. "Stop!" That was Derick! Sam kicked in the door and charged in, Jason following closely. What they saw however, was not what they expected. Derick was naked and a large guy was on top of him, pinning his hands to the dirty bathroom floor. Derick saw Sam and Jason before the guy did and shock and relief crossed his face. "Hey!" Jason cried just as Sam strolled over, drew back and punched the guy as hard as he could in the back of his head. His other hand shot down, grabbing the guy by the arm and throwing him off of Derick. "Jason, get Derick out of here." Jason nodded and reached down, pulling Derick up and wrapping his trench coat around their friend. "He was asking for it man!" The asshole said, trying to sit up and rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "I'd stay down if you knew what was best for you." Sam hissed, his hands clenched into fists. "Oh what, the nigger needs his boyfriend to fight his battles for him?" The guy taunted. Sam saw red and drew back his leg, kicking the guy as hard as he could in his ribs. "You are disgusting. A sick fuck." He hissed as he kicked the guy again and again, ignoring the guys pleas to stop. "Did you stop when Derick pleaded? DID YOU?" He screamed, suddenly grabbed by the arm and dragged back he jerked away and whirled about to deck whoever had grabbed him but froze at the sight of Chris. "I've got this Sam, go on." Sam took a deep breath, turned to glare before walking out._

Sam jerked awake gasping for breath. Glancing around he looked down at his brothers sleeping form and sighed, scrubbing a hand across his face. God it'd been a long time since he'd had any nightmares about that night. That was the worst part, it wasn't just a nightmare, it was a memory. He would have beaten that guy to death if Chris hadn't of stopped him. Letting out a deep sigh he shifted until he was curled against Deans chest once more. Dean woke up as Sam jerked awake and seemed upset, however he pretended to be asleep still until Sam curled into his chest. Wrapping his arm around his brother he began to run his fingers through his hair "You alright?" Dean asked, pressing a kiss to the top of his brothers head. "Yea...just a nightmare." Sam mumbled, but his tone told Dean that it was more then just that.

Dean of course, didn't believe him but sighed anyways and pulled Sam closer to him. "Wanna...I dunno, talk about it?" Dean asked, sheepishly. It was rare for him to ask about talking about ones feelings and it caused Sam to look up at him and blink. He continued to stare at Dean as if he'd grown a second head. "Uh...Yea..." He finally whispered, scooting into a sitting position but allowed Dean to keep his arm wrapped around his waist. Sam took a deep breath before he began. "Me, Jessica, Chris, Jason and Derick were going out to celebrate, I'd just been accepted for a full ride in the colleges lawyer program. We were having a great time, getting drunk dancing and just all out goofing off when I got a bad feeling. I looked around and noticed that Derick was missing, after asking Jess if she knew where he was she suggested the bathroom. So I told her I was gonna go find him, and headed towards the bathrooms. I'd grabbed Jason along the way and when we got there we could hear signs of a struggle, and then Derick telling someone to...stop." Tears had started streaming down Sams face as he took in a deep shuddering breath. "You can stop if you want, Sammy." Dean whispered, reaching up to lovingly wipe the tears from Sams face. Sam shook his head no, but grabbed Deans hand and held it to his face for a second. Kissing the inside of Deans palm he grasped said hand in his and lowered it to his lap, fiddling with the fingers. He always seemed to calm down whenever he had physical contact with Dean, there was just a sense that his brother would protect him, guard him and never let anything bad happen if the could help it.

"I looked back at Jason and kicked the door in, but...what we saw wasn't what we expected. There was a large guy pinning Derick to the floor, and Derick was nude dean. I snapped, while Jason shouted at him I just walked up and punched him as hard as I could, before throwing him off of Derick and ordering Jason to get Derick out of there. Once they left, he called Derick a nigger, and said he was pathetic that his lover had to fight his battles. I just started kicking him, over and over...and over. I wanted to hurt him...I wanted to KILL him Dea." Sam sobbed out. Dean pulled him tighter to his side. "Shh. But you didn't Sammy. You wanted to but you didn't." "How do you know?" "Because I know you. Your not a murderer." Dean said, pressing a kiss to Sams forehead. "Well..your right about that. But I only stopped because Chris stopped me." Sam whispered, sliding down and curling up against his brother. Dean was seriously getting sick of all the mushy touchy feely crap, but for Sam he'd suffer through it. Sighing he leaned back against the wall and just held Sam. Letting his fingers comb through his brothers hair as Sam calmed down. Deciding to change the subject Dean glanced down and smiled. "We should probably start looking for another hunt, no?" He asked, watching as Sam glanced up at him. "Only you Dea. I confess I nearly murdered a human and you wanna look for hunts. I knew I loved you for a reason." Sam chuckled, a slight smile crossing his face. "Awe it wasn't cause of my dashingly good looks?" Dean asked with a pout. "That may have been part of it. Besides, we all know I'm better looking." Sam replied. "Mm... Can't argue with that." Dean whispered, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to his brothers lips. "Such a shame for all them girls that ogle you too. Cause I've got my hooks in, and I'm not letting go." Dean continued. "Same here Dea, Same here." Sam whispered, kissing the side of his brothers neck.

They sat there like that for a half hour before pulling themselves out of the bed, all be it reluctantly. Sam walked to the table and turned on his laptop. "I'm gonna get us some grub." Dean called from the bathroom, as he walked into the room pulling on his leather jacket. "Alright. You do that. I'ma look for some hunts." Sam said, watching as his brother snagged the Impalas keys off the nightstand and headed out the door. That was the great thing about their relationship. While they had touchy feely moments, they didn't feel the need to kiss each other every time one of em left. Sam smiled as he watched his brother through the window, slide into the car and head down the road to the local diner.

Once his laptop had loaded he started pulling up newspapers from different towns. Looking through the stories for anything unusual. He had become so absorbed in his research that he didn't hear the telltale flutter of wings. A sign that an Angel had just arrived. Thus when Castiel spoke, Sam jumped in his seat, nearly knocking the table over. "Hello Sam." "Cas!" Sam gasped out, placing his hands on the table to steady it. "Dean really needs to get you a bell." Sam grumbled to himself. Castiel blinked at Sam as he walked around the table and stiffly sat down across from him. "Why do you and Dean keep mentioning a bell?" Cas asked. Sam smirked at him "Because, you scare us when you just pop out of thin air. It'd give us warning." Sam explained. "I apologize, It is not my intention to frighten you all." Cas continued. Even after all these years he was still the stuck up angel, just... slightly less stuck up. Dean got it right, when he said 'Don't fuck with the nerd angel.' Cas was not someone you wanted against you. "Its alright..." Sam mumbled, glancing back to his laptop as he continued to browse the stories. "So, why'd ya come? Theres gotta be a reason right?" "I just wished to visit. Did you speak with Dean about what happened with Derick?" Cas asked, watching Sam closely. "Um...Yea... We just got done talking about it... You were right, It did help." Sam mumbled, forcing a brief smile at their friend. "You are still saddened by it. I told you before Samuel. You did all you could, you protected your friend. Short of being a mind reader, you could not have prevented what happened." "Yea I know, still hurts though. Derick didn't deserve it." "I'm sure hes thankful you stopped it when you did." Cas reminded him. "True. I do miss them." Sam said. "Perhaps you can visit them?" "Dunno... That'd be kind of awkward no? 'Oh hey guys, yea I just saved the world from becoming hell on earth, even though I started it. So how have you been?' Yea that'd go over great." Cas actually smirked at that. "Yes I imagine they wouldn't react well to that. How about you speak with Dean about visiting, and then leave out the whole apocalypse part?" "Mm. I'll talk to him." "Good."

That was how Dean found them fifteen minutes later. Sam browsing the online news clippings and Castiel sitting stiffly across from him. Dean strolled in and dropped the food on the table between them. "Breakfast is served." He said, pulling out his double bacon and egg biscuit, along with a sausage biscuit, Two cups of Orange juice, two cups of coffee, and four hash browns. Castiels face caused Sam to smirk "Whats wrong Cas?" Sam snickered. "How can two people eat so much?" Castiel whispered. Dean huffed "All he got was the hash brown, coffee, orange juice and sausage biscuit. Rest is mine." Dean interrupted. Castiel blinked owlishly at Dean before shaking his head "Your appetite astounds me, Dean." Castiel grumbled, before standing from the seat and moving to peer out the window. Dean simply shrugged before plopping down in the vacated seat, but not before leaning over to press his lips against his brothers. Sam returned the kiss eagerly, before reluctantly pulling away at Castiels not so subtle clearing of his throat. "A bit of decency would be grand, Dean." Cas grumbled, before turning back to look out the window. Just because he didn't care if they were living in sin, fucking each other while being brothers and all. Didn't mean he wanted to see it first hand.

Sam offered him a sheepish grin before turning back to fix his coffee how he liked it, Dean however simply flicked him off. "I saw that Dean." Cas said, in a scolding tone. Deans face flushed as he sputtered for a few minutes before glaring down at his biscuit. Stupid all knowing angels. "Is there a reason you're even here, in our motel room might I add, Castiel darling?" Dean snapped, the darling part added on with his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Dean..." Sam said, scolding tone was used as he stirred his coffee. "Behave." The threat was clearly there. 'Be nice to the nerd angel or you're not getting any.' Castiel was always ruining his fun!

Castiel turned to face them after a few moments. "As a matter of fact there was, I missed your smiling face." He replied, forcing a smile upon his face. The fact that he was being a smart ass was not missed by either Sam or Dean as they stared at him. Sam allowed one eyebrow to be arched as he waited for the truth to come out, it was rare for Castiel to be anything but professional. He figured it was a side effect of rebelling against heaven, that allowed him to be more... well human. That or Dean was a worse influence then Sam thought. After a second of pondering this Sam gave a shrug, it was probably the latter. "Dean rubbing off on you, Cas?" Sam asked with a smirk, but his face then changed as he caught the double meaning of his words and turned to glare at his brother. "You better not be." He grumbled. Dean put his hands up in a 'don't shoot' gesture "Hey you said it, not me." Dean whined. "No, and defiantly not Sam to the other meaning of those words. Just a taste of his own medicine so to speak." Cas said, walking towards his two friends. Over the years they'd grown closer, ever since saving the world he found their company even more enjoyable. They always brought him, what he could only describe as amusement. However along with the friendship, came the great desire to protect them. Even if it would be from one of them. He'd be dead before he let anything harm either of them anymore. If he could help it, that was. Of course, as loathe as he was to admit it, they did make a adorable couple, but he never said such things to them. Knowing them they'd probably Molotov him with holy water.

"However there is a reason I did come to you. It would seem that there is a demon or some sort, causing buildings in Ferndale Florida, to explode and collapse. Killing people inside of them in rare occurrences. You need to go there and check it out." Castiel continued, walking over to the table and standing beside it with his arms stiffly at his sides. "Alright, We'll head out after breakfast." Sam said, grimacing as he watched his brother stuff his face. Castiel nodded curtly, grimaced at Dean before he disappeared. Sam sighed and shook his head before he began to eat his own breakfast. It would seem that they were going to Florida, joy for them right?

After breakfast Sam and Dean packed up their things and loaded them into the car. "I'll go check us out." Sam said as Dean tossed the last bag into the cars trunk. "Alright." Came Deans muffled reply. Sam smirked before heading into the office and paying for the room, before walking back to the car. Once both of them slid into the impala Dean turned the car on and pulled out of the parking lot. Heading towards Florida with one hand on the steering wheel, AC/DC blaring through the radio, and his other hand clasped around his brothers. A glance from the corner of his eye he sighed _I should get him a dog. He always wanted one as a kid. Maybe I'll find one in Florida. _"What are you looking at?" Sam asked, smirking at his brother. "You." Dean replied, squeezing his brothers hand. He knew then that even though he hated showing his emotions, he would always be open and honest with his brother.  


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_A/N: So, What'd ya'll think? Reviews? Next chapter will be up ASAP. My mom suggested whats gonna happen in the next chapter, its based off something that happened to her in real life. R&R? Also, Suggestions for future hunts would be great. Much love._


	12. I love you I hate you

I love you I Hate you

_A/N: Alright, I decided to push what happened to my mom back for a few chapters. This never happened to my mom, decided to cause drama of my own. Also to answer a guest that left a review. No my mom doesn't love/like wincest, but my mom is the type of mother that respects me enough to answer whatever questions I have. I asked her for a suggestion for a wincest fic, and she gave me a real life event that happened in her life, to use.  
Warnings: Sex scene and rape scene in this chapter.  


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They'd been driving for several days, but finally they were pulling into Ferndale. However as they drove through the town, they both noticed something was missing. "Dude, theres no motels." Dean grumbled. Sam gave him a 'no duh' look before following the road to the next town; Minneola. Pulling off 561 and onto 27 he drove south until they came upon the Orange motel. Sam pulled into the parking lot and parked, while Dean climbed out and walked into the office. "We need a room with a queen bed." Dean said. "Room 2." The chick replied, he nodded and thanked her before walking outside and grabbing some of their bags from the cars trunk. After slamming the trunk shut he lead Sam to the room and unlocked the door, dropping the bags near the end of the bed they glanced around. The room was bland, a dark green carpet with dark green walls. Shrugging Sam kicked the door shut and locked it.

After the door was shut and locked Sam dropped the bags he had next to the bed as well before sitting down on it. "Well, at least its not as bad as other motels we've been in." He said, looking up at Dean from where he'd sat. Dean glanced around the room before nodding "True." Turning back to his brother he looked down into his hazel eyes and couldn't keep from smirking. "What do ya say to trying out the bed?" Dean asked, stalking towards Sam and placing his hands on his brothers shoulders. Running them down his chest before slipping under his brothers shirt. Sam kept looking up into his brothers eyes, groaning as Deans hands brushed across his nipples. "Dea, we should really work on the case." He tried to persuade his brother. "We can, but I think we need a little tension relief after driving for so long." Dean replied, sinking to his knees in front of Sam. His hands slid up, pulling his brothers shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor. "Don't you?" Dean asked, leaning forward and kissing his brothers chest, nipping it and the soothing the skin with his tongue. Sam moaned, arching into his brothers touch slightly.

"Dea..." Sam moaned, running his hands down his brothers sides and hooking under his shirt. As he pulled it up, forcing Dean to break his ministrations for a few seconds before it joined his shirt on the ground. Dean smirked before he took one of his brothers nipples into his mouth, sucking on it for a few minutes before he bit and licked it. Turning to the other he repeated the actions as his hands undid his brothers belt, and then jeans. Pulling back he hooked his fingers into his brothers waistband and pulled. Sam lifted his hips, allowing Dean to rid him of his pants and boxers in one go. Dean allowed his hands to move back up, one hand gripped his brothers shaft as he began to stroke it. His mouth moved up, to suck on Sams neck as he nipped and licked at his brothers pulse point. "God Dea..." Sam moaned, leaning back some and causing Deans mouth to move down his chest. Deans free hand reached up, pushing his brother back causing Sam to lay back on the bed. Deans tongue circled Sams naval before dipping into it for a second, only teasing before it traveled further down. Pausing to suck and nip on his hip bone.

"Dea! More! Please!" Sam pleaded, his hips thrusting up into Deans hand. He could feel his brothers smirk as he moved down, finally taking Sams prick into to his mouth. "Deaaaa" Sam moaned out, trying to thrust into that warm moist heat. However he couldn't, considering Dean had pinned his hips to the bed. Dean continued to bob his head, hallowing out his cheeks and allowing his tongue to circle the head when he pulled back, but caressed the underside of his brothers dick when he went down. Focusing on the vein that ran along the underside. "Dea!" Sam moaned, his hands clenching at the covers where they lay. Dean hmmed around his brother, causing Sam to jerk and thrash. Sneaking his free hand down he blindly searched until his hand closed around the bottle of lube in his bag. Pulling it out he pulled back only long enough to slick up three fingers before engulfing Sam again, deep throating him in one go. "Dea! So...Close" Sam groaned, thrashing his head from one side to the other. Dean chuckled around his brother before pushing one finger into his brothers puckered entrance. Pausing when it was fully in, but only because of his brothers pained gasp. After a few moments he began to wiggle it, moving it around until he brushed his brothers prostate. "DEA!" Sam half yelped half moaned, ok so it was more a moan then a yelp. Sams ass clenched around Deans finger as his prick started to pulse and he tried to thrust his hips upwards. "Deaaa" He moaned as he came, Dean swallowed all he had to offer before licking him clean. Sam collapsed back onto the bed with a goofy grin plastered across his face as he gazed down at Dean who stood slightly and removed his jeans and boxers with one hand. Talented wasn't he? Climbing onto the bed he leaned over Sam and kissed him, his tongue running across his brothers lower lip begging for entrance. Which of course, was gladly granted. Dean thrust his tongue in and began to explore his brothers mouth as he continued to stretch his brother. Slipping in a second finger he waited until Sam relaxed before he began to scissor him open. Pulling his brothers tongue into his own mouth he began to suck on it. Pulling moans from his brother before he reluctantly broke the kiss. Both gasping for air, as he moved to Sams neck. "God Dea, I love you." Sam panted out, his hands roaming along Deans back and sides as Dean moved down further. Pulling back from trailing kisses down Sams chest he looked up. "I love you too Sammy, so much."

Dean continued to go down, slipping in the third finger when he was sure Sam was stretched as much as he could be with just two. He continued stretching his brother open wider, kissing and lightly nipping his brothers dick, watching as he moaned and arched and thrashed. "Got a kink huh baby boy?" Dean asked as he nipped Sams prick again, making sure to keep the nips light as to keep from hurting Sam. Sam moaned and thrust up at the action. "Dea, please. Fuck MEEE" He moaned as his brothers fingers brushed his prostate. "As you wish." Dean replied, pulling his fingers out causing Sam to whimper. "Shhh one sec Baby boy." Dean whispered, slicking up his hard member before leaning over Sam, pressing his lips against his brothers in a heated kiss before pulling back. He pulled Sam down the bed slightly, before hooking his brothers legs over his arms and pressing into Sam slowly. Each time Sam gasped in pain or flinched he'd stop, leaning over and peppering kisses on his face or whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Once he was fully seated he waited, watching for Sams ok. "Move." Sam whispered out, Dean nodded and pulled out before thrusting in. Shallow slow thrusts to start with but he quickly picked up his pace until he almost pulled out each time before thrusting harshly back in.

Sams moaning started up again and he was moving to meet each one of Deans thrusts, arching up when Dean pulled back and shoving down when Dean thrust into him. Causing Dean to go deeper, his prick brushing across Sam prostate with each pass. Sweat beads began to roll down Deans chest as he grunted and groaned. Working hard to bring his brother to his release before he let his own go. He was faintly aware of the telltale sign that an angel appeared, the rustling of wings but didn't care. He continued to thrust into Sam who gasped and moaned louder and louder. "Dea. Ima." He groaned out before he began to pulse and the tight channel tightened even more around Dean. Sam moaned and arched his back as he came, spilling all over their chests just as Dean came into his arse. Dean continued to thrust through their orgasms before he slowed and collapsed onto of Sam. "Im not crushing you, am I?" He asked quietly. "No." Sam replied, wrapping his arms around Dean as well as his legs, not wanting to lose the feeling of being so full. He knew he'd lose it if Dean pulled out of him. Reaching around he pulled the blanket from the floor and tossed it across them. Only then did he notice Castiel standing in the corner, with a deer in the headlights expression across his face. Awkward?

Sam continued to stare at Castiel, who stared blankly at them. How long had Cas been standing there? Had he been there the whole time? Sam tightened his hold on his brother, who pressed a kiss against his neck and slipped his arms under Sams body, holding Sam to him as well. After what seemed to be forever Castiels eyes snapped directly to Sams, seeming to figure out he'd been spotted. His face screwed up before he vanished from the room just as quickly as he'd appeared. "What was that?" Dean asked, his voice muffled slightly. As Dean started to pull back from their embrace Sam tightened his hold even more. "Nothing. Stay?" He pleaded, pressing a kiss to Deans neck. Dean glanced down at Sam and sighed "We gotta get up." He claimed, but groaned when Sam thrust his hips causing Dean to harden inside of him. "Again?" Dean asked his brother who leaned up and kissed his neck before whispering "Again. Always again." Who was Dean to deny his brother anything?

An hour later they finally rolled out of the bed and headed to the shower. Sams walk was sort of stiff, and he'd winced in pain when first getting up. But what was one to expect after four rounds of sex, back to back? He had tried to get a fifth round, but Dean had refused, seeing the pain his brother was already in so he had gotten out of bed and dragged Sam into the shower. As they slipped into the shower, Dean took his place behind Sam and gently lead him under the spray, before getting the wash cloth wet and began to wash his brothers back. Sam released a sigh as he braced himself against the wall, letting his head drop down and just enjoying the feeling of his brother taking care of him. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" Sam asked, so softly Dean wasn't even sure he was meant to hear it. Slipping around his brother he began to wash his chest, arms and other bits before setting the wash rag off to the side and cupping his brothers face with his hands. "You were you. I love you, for you. I love how compassionate you are, how smart and sexy you are. How you seem oblivious to the fact that every woman and man you pass, has to turn around and eye fuck you. I love that you can look at me and ignore any insults or walls I throw up, that when I look into your eyes all I see is unconditional love. The question here, isn't what you did to deserve me. Its what did I do right, to get your heart after so many times that I've hurt you." Dean said, searching his brothers dark almost emerald green eyes, they were always so full of love, showing whatever mood he was in. If he was pissed, they were hard and cold, if he loved you they were warm and bright, welcoming. Dean could get lost in those eyes for hours. Now however as he searched them, he watched as the doubt left them and the passionate love flooded through them. "Your my brother, my everything. How couldn't I love you?" Sam whispered, also staring into Deans eyes. Dean offered him a smile before leaning up and crashing their lips together, in a passionate kiss. His arms wrapped around Sams neck, and Sams arms went around his waist as their tongues battled before Dean gave up the lead to his brother. Something he rarely ever did. Finally pulling apart Dean smiled up at his brother "I love you, never doubt that. Ok?" He asked, his voice stern. Sam gave him a soft smile and nodded "Ok." Sam didn't know why he was so insecure, but he kept expecting Dean to leave him for some reason. Even though he knew that Dean would die for him, hell he had died for Sam and yet he still had that nagging feeling that Dean would leave him.

Dean finished washing off both of them before they slipped out of the shower and got dressed. Sam couldn't help but glance at his brother every now and then, it wasn't very often for Dean to bare himself like that. It just proved that he loved Sam, at least thats how Sam saw it. Finally pulling out his laptop he started browsing through the local newspapers, bookmarking a few of them to show to Dean. Dean was currently sitting on the bed, pulling on his boots and jacket before he stood up. "I'm gonna go ask around. Call if ya find anything?" He asked, holding up his phone as he said to call. "Alright." The 'be safe' was unspoken, but showed in his eyes as he looked up. Dean nodded, opened the door and strolled out to the Impala. Sam heaved out a sigh as he leaned back in the chair and folded his hands behind his head. He was getting a whole lot of not a damn thing, whatever details about the explosions were being kept hush hush. Running his hand through his hair he stood up and snagged his own jacket, pulling it on and heading for the Bar a short way down the road. He had his cell phone in his pocket, and debated on calling Dean to see if he'd had any better luck but decided against it.

Strolling into the bar Sam peered around to see exactly what the crowd was like, noticing a sort of...well there was no other word to describe it but twitchy, guy sitting off by himself Sam sighed. Heading to the bar he settled down on a stool and waited for the bartender to come over. "Jack and Coke." He said, the bartender nodded and went to filling his order. Once it was set in front of him Sam nodded and just played with the sweat on the glass for a few minutes before picking it up and taking a sip. It wasn't long before someone approached him, settling on the stool next to his. "Whats a hot stud like you doing in these parts?" the guy asked, in what Sam was sure, was suppose to be a sultry tone. Really it took all Sams effort not to roll his eyes before he turned his head, ever so slowly to see the speaker. "Waiting for my lover." Sam deadpanned. Turning back to his drink he went to lift it to his lips again but was stopped by a hand on his forearm. A hand that was currently caressing his arm, he narrowed his eyes and jerked his arm away from the mans touch. It didn't seem to deter the man at all, as he leaned closer to Sam. "I could be your lover." The creep tried to purr into his ear. Sam leaned away from the creeper and turned his cold glare to the guy, to see a severally disturbing smirk across his face, though the man probably thought it was sexy. "No thanks." Sam said, struggling to keep his tone somewhat polite.

The creeps smirk faded from his face and he reached out, grabbing Sams arm and squeezing it tightly. "Shame, could really use a hot piece of ass like yours." Sam tried to ignore the pain in his arm from where the creeps nails were digging into his flesh. "To bad for you I'm taken." Sam growled, twisting his arm to try and get the guys grip off of him. "I don't see lover boy around here." Alex, the creeper said. His free hand slipping up Sams thigh closer and closer to his groin. Sam vaguely wondered if Derick had been this scared or not, when he'd almost been raped? "I said, No!" Sam jerked away, knocking the bar stool over in the process. Alexs grip didn't loosen and instead he twisted it behind Sams back "Lets take a little walk." He hissed into Sams ear, twisting his arm higher and causing Sam to whimper in pain but he walked towards a darkened hall anyways. Alex smirked as he shoved Sam against the wall, shoving his knee between Sams legs. "Such a good little bottom aren't you? Lover boy trained you well didn't he? So submissive." Alex cooed, running a hand along Sams face.

Alex kept Sam pinned against the wall, his free hand drifted down to undo Sams jeans and slipped into the now open pants, grasping Sams shaft. "Oh, so big and hard. Bet Lover boy loves playin with you doesn't he?" Alex whispered, stroking Sams dick roughly. Sam winced and whimpered as he tried to scoot along the wall. "S..s.. Please, stop." Tears were now welling up in his eyes as he craned his head. Praying that Dean came, or hell even if Castiel came. Alex smirked and grabbed his face "No one can help you now." He hissed, pushing Sams pants down and undoing his own. Alex stroked himself once or twice before shoving Sam to the ground and climbing on top of him as soon as he hit. Shoving himself roughly into Sam he thrilled at Sams scream of pain. The pain, god it felt like he was being ripped in half, he could feel the muscle tearing and what he assumed to be blood lubricating the mans dick. "STOP! OH GOD STOP!" Sam sobbed out, choking on his tears as the man thrust ruthlessly into him.

Dean had come back from asking around to find that Sam wasn't in the motel room where he'd left him. Glancing around he noticed that his brothers jacket was gone. "Probably went to the bar." Dean said, about to sit down when Castiel popped into the room. "Dean, Sams in trouble. The bar, in a back hallway." Castiel gasped out. "What? Dude, zap me there!" Dean cried, and Castiel did as asked. Once he got over the nauseous feeling it came back with a vengeance as he heard Sams cries. 'STOP! OH GOD STOP!' He sounded in pain. Dean growled and charged down the hall, rounded the corner and what he saw nearly made him vomit. A guy was thrusting into his Sammy, blood could be spotted on the ground. Sams blood. Dean didn't even think, he stalked forward and grabbed the man, yanking him off of Sam which caused Sam to gasp in pain. He felt sorry for that, but at least it got the man off of his lover. "I believe my lover told you to stop." Dean growled, his normally hazel eyes nearly black with the amount of anger he felt. Drawing back he punched the guy as hard as he could in his stomach, causing the man to double over in pain and begin to cough. "He was asking for it man!" Dean punched the guy in the face that time, knocking him to the ground. Dean drew back his leg and kicked Alex in the stomach repeatedly while speaking. "Please. -kick- Enlighten -Kick- Me -kick- To how -kick, kick- My -kick- lover was -kick, kick- asking -kick- for -kick- It -kick,kick,kick-" Alex was desperatly trying to curl into a ball, and roll away from Dean, resulting in some of the kicks to land on his arms and even his spine. "Dea!" Sams voice was horse and pained. "Dea stop...hes not worth it!" Deans kicking faulted, which gave Alex the chance to fetch his knife from his boot. Rolling over he shoved the knife into deans calf. "SON OF A BITCH!" Dean screeched, drawing back and kicking Alex in the head twice, causing him to pass out.

Once Dean was sure he was out cold he limped over to Sam and pulled out his cell phone, dialing 911 and telling them where they were, and that someone had attacked his boyfriend and then stabbed him in the leg. They told them they would send help. After hanging up Dean collapsed to the ground next to Sam and leaned over him, covering Sams face in chaste kisses. "God Sammy...I'm so sorry. Cas told me you were in trouble, I came as fast as I could." Sam flinched at first when Dean leaned over, but calmed once the first kiss was placed on his face. Reaching out he grabbed a hold of deans shirt and sobbed into his brothers chest. Dean wrapped his arms gently around Sam and rubbed his back. "Shhh. Helps on the way, it'll be ok. You'll be ok." Dean murmured into Sams hair. "Now you wont want me, i'm dirty Dean...used...i should of fought him off, but I didn't. I'm weak, and dirty and used." "No Sam. Listen to me. Your not weak, you were scared. Any one would be scared stiff in your situation. Your not dirty or used either, your still the same Sammy you were this morning. Your still the same guy I've loved for years. Don't let him make you think any different. Because if you do, when your healed I will beat the shit out of you. You understand me?" Dean said, the last bit was said with a slightly teasing tone. He felt Sam nod against his chest and sighed, clutching his brother to him.

Five minutes later the paramedics came storming into the bar and down the hallway, directed by Castiel who'd given the brothers the space they needed. Sam started freaking out when he noticed at the people. "No! Don't touch me!" He screamed, smacking their hands away as they tried to give him injections and take his blood pressure and such. Dean winced as he rolled over Sam, pinning him to the ground. "Sammy! SAM!" He yelled as Sam started freaking out more. "Its me. Its Dea. Its ok, they're just here to help you. I'm right here, I wont let anyone hurt you, I promise. Ok baby?" He whispered, reaching up to caress his brothers face. "Dea?" Sam whispered back, his voice was so quiet and scared...so innocent that Dean nodded "Yea. Dea. I'm right here." Glancing up he nodded to the paramedics, unblocking one arm but turning Sams head so he was facing him. "Its alright, just focus on me ok babe? Ignore them and look at me." He continued, keeping his hand on Sams face to keep him from turning to the paramedics. "Thats it, focus on me. You're gonna be ok, I promise." His tone was soft, and his eyes were wet with unshed tears. He used his thumb to brush some tears from Sams face, leaning in he pressed his lips against Sams but kept it chaste, even though Sam tried to deepen it. "Sir, we need to get him on the gurney." A paramedic said, causing Sam to tense at the sound of his voice. "Shh Its ok baby. I'm gonna pick you up alright? They have a nice gurney here that you can ride on, they're gonna take us to the hospital. Is it ok if I pick you up?" Dean asked, gazing into Sams eyes. They were so haunted now, so scared. But the most prominent emotion was trust, and love. Sam slowly nodded his head and clutched to Deans shirt. "Are you sure thats wise sir? You're hurt too." The Paramedic said. "I've had worse." Dean snapped, slipping his arms under Sams knees and behind his shoulders before standing. He gritted his teeth as he put weight on his leg but managed to limp to the gurney. Sam tugged on his shirt once he was lowered onto it and he glanced at the paramedic, who nodded. Dean scooped his brother up and laid down on the gurney, laying Sam on top of him on his stomach.

Dean ran a hand through his brothers hair as they loaded them into the ambulance. "Everything is gonna be fine, Sammy." Dean whispered as Sam whimpered and flinched on top of him. Deans other arm was wrapped around Sams waist, hugging his brother to him. Dean continued to stare up at the roof of the ambulance. "I'm not leaving him when we get to the hospital." He told the paramedics. He knew what would happen, Sam would freak out and his hunter training would kick in. Innocent people would be hurt, badly and then Sam would feel terrible. "Alright Sir, since he seems to react better with you around, we'll tell the doctors." The paramedic replied. "Thanks." Dean said, finally allowing a tear to slip down his face. "You really do love him, don't you?" The paramedic asked. "With my life." Dean replied honestly. "I'd die for him." He added on, pressing a kiss to the top of Sams head. _And he'd die for me_ Dean added silently. The arm that was wrapped around his brothers waist moved up, rubbing circles on Sams back. "Its obvious. You know how to comfort him so well." "I raised him, I'd hope i'd know how to bring him comfort." Dean replied, glancing down at his brother. "I know you'll probably find it sick. But hes my brother, and my lover." He said, looking at the Paramedic almost daring her to call them disgusting. "I don't. Its not common, but I can tell you both love each other greatly. If he trusts you after whats happened to him today, so soon. You must treat him right. Most 'normal' relationships are destroyed when one is...raped." She used quotation marks when she'd said 'normal'. Dean offered her a brief smile "Hes stronger then most 'normal' people." Dean whispered, but said no more as they reached the ER.

As the back doors to the ambulance were opened Sam flinched and cringed, digging his fingers into Deans sides as he whimpered. "Shhh. Sammy its alright. I gotcha remember? Deas here. I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you." He started whispering, wrapping the arm back around Sams waist and stroking his brothers head. The Paramedics waited outside the ambulance until Dean had Sam calmed back down again. Once it was safe they unloaded the gurney and began to wheel them into their room. When the nurses asked if they were separating them Sam started screaming and clutching to dean. "NO YOU CANT TAKE HIM! No! Dea you promised! You promised Dea! You said you weren't leaving me!" Tears were streaming down Sams face as he tried to press himself into his brother. Dean shot the nurse that'd asked that a glare as he winced. "Shhh Sammy, She was wrong. I'm not leaving you, I promise. Of course, if you squeeze me any tighter then I wont be able to breathe." He forced out, chuckling once. "But i'm not leaving you. Not ever, I'll be right here under you the whole time alright?" He turned Sams head to face him, staring into his brothers tear soaked eyes. He once again used his thumbs to brush away the tears. "Promise." Dean said once again. He was taken by surprise when Sam crashed their lips together and forced his tongue into Deans mouth. Dean let Sam have the lead in the kiss, getting the feeling he needed to regain some sense of control. Reluctantly Sam pulled back and offered Dean a broken sheepish grin. "Theres my Sammy." Dean whispered, kissing his brother on the lips again, but kept it chaste.

The nurse apologized and left after trying to help Dean switch from the gurney to the bed to which he glared and snarled at her. Once he was situated in the bed Sam wiggled slightly, wincing from the pain in his arse. He curled his arms around Deans back and nestled his face into Deans neck. Taking in deep breaths, using his brothers scent to calm him. Sometime later the doctor came in and froze at the sight before it. Sam had fallen asleep some how, and Dean was laying as still as possible with his leg wrapped up. "Hi. I'm Dr. James Duff. Is he asleep?" He asked, pointing at Sam. Dean glanced down "Yea." He whispered back. "Do you mind if I give him a tranquilizer. The exam i've got to do can be painful. I'll give him a pain killer as well." Dr. Duff asked. "Sure, but if you harm him in anyway, I'll kill you." Dean hissed. The doctor nodded, before drawing up the Tranquilizer and pain killer, injecting both into Sams ass cheek. Once he was sure they'd kicked in he began his examination and frowned. "It seems that while the muscle on the outside of his anal cavity is torn, the delicate skin inside has not been ripped. It would seem you arrived before any permanent damage could be done. I'll have to stitch up the muscle, and he'll be on a liquid diet for a few weeks as well as have to sit on a donut while it heals. I'll be prescribing him pain killers and antibiotics as well. The blood the paramedics took came back, and he has no STDs but I suggest rechecking in two weeks time." The doctor said, before he set to work stitching up Sam. Once he was done he covered Sam with a blanket and unwrapped Deans leg.

"Ouch. The attacker did this?" The doctor asked, looking up. "Uh yea. I kind of snapped when I saw him raping my lover." Dean replied, albeit sheepishly. "Understandable. I'd snap too if I saw someone raping my wife." The Doctor replied. "This'll sting a bit." He warned, washing the wound out with antiseptic to kill off any germs. Dean hissed and flinched but otherwise remained still. "Its not that big. Course he barely missed the Achilles tendon. You got lucky there. Just needs stitches and to be cleaned daily. I'll prescribe you antibiotics and pain killers as well, if a infection forms come back." Dean nodded and the Doctor stitched him up, before re wrapping it with a fresh bandage. "Can we go home?" Dean asked. "I don't see why not. Of course, I'd suggest making him see a psychiatrist at some point. Trauma like that shouldn't be kept in." "Alright, thanks." Dean said, mentally rolling his eyes. He wrapped a towel around his brother and stood up, limping as he carried him out to the Impala which Castiel was currently sitting in.

"Man I've never been happier to see you then I am now. We need to go get these filled." Dean said, handing the angel the two scripts and climbing in the passenger seat, cradling Sam carefully so his ass didn't touch anything. "I'll take ya'll to the motel and then go get these Dean." Castiel replied, turning the car on and heading back to the motel. "Thanks Cas...and...Thanks for getting me. The doctor said I got there before any real damage could be done...physically at least." Castiel looked over at the two and nodded "He is my friend Dean, I would do anything to protect him just as you will." Castiel replied. "I know, but just...thanks." Dean said and Castiel let it drop. It didn't take long before they were back at the Motel and Dean carried Sam inside, laying him down on the bed he locked the door and made sure the salt lines were perfect before crawling into the bed and pulling Sam to him, spooning him from behind.

Several hours later Sam started to wake up. The last things he remembered was being raped, Dean beating the shit out of his rapist, Dean getting stabbed, and Dean holding him in the hospital. So when he woke up and felt someone wrapped up behind him he freaked. Shoving the person away from him and hitting them in the face with his elbow before he scrambled up to the headboard, hugging his knees to his chest despite how his ass protested the movement. "SON OF A BITCH!" Whoever it was that had curled up to him screamed. Wait, that voice. He knew that voice. "Dea?" Sam whimpered, scanning around looking for his brother, his lover. Deans head appeared over the side of the bed, blood coming from his nose and covering the hand that he had over his face. "Dea! What happened?" Sam sobbed, reaching a hand out for his brother. "Its alright Sam. I think I scared you..shoulda known better then to hold you from behind." Dean said, cleaning off his face. Castiel huffed out a chuckle and walked over, touching Deans face his nose was healed. "Thanks Cas." Dean said, before washing off his hands. "I...I did that?" Sam whimpered. Dean turned towards the sound "Shh its alright, I'm fine see?" Dean said, crawling up the bed and slowly wrapping his arms around Sams waist, pulling him into him and getting his weight off his ass. "I'm sorry Dea. I...I was Sc...scared." Sam sobbed into his chest.

"Shhh Its alright babe. Alls forgiven. I know you didn't mean to." Dean whispered, rubbing circles on Sams back. He bent his head down and kissed the top of Sams head. "Its alright, Promise." Dean whispered, leaning down and kissing Sams cheek and then his neck. He brushed the tears away, kissing Sams chin and then finally his lips. Pulling back after a Chaste peck but it seemed Sam wasn't having that. Sam whimpered, leaning up and recapturing Deans lips, kissing him again before dipping his tongue into Deans mouth. Moaning at the taste that was just...Dean. He tasted of Cinnamon, Mint, Beer and oddly Citrus. Most people would find this mixture disgusting, but Sam loved it. Dean let him control the kiss, but when Sam tried to slip his hand down his pants Dean pulled back. "Babe, much as i'd love to ravish you right now. Your injured, and you need your rest." Sam pouted, but he knew that Dean was right. "When I'm better?" Sam asked. "Yes, when your healed i'll ravish you as many times as you want." Dean replied, kissing Sam again. "Over, and over, and over." Sam groaned as he leaned into Deans side, grinding his erection into his brothers leg. Dean groaned, he knew he'd have to let Sam lead, but now was to soon. Sam seemed to notice what he was doing and offered a sheepish grin, before curling into a ball and resting his head on Deans chest. He knew it'd be awhile before they were having sex again, but did that mean no fun at all?


	13. I Will Try To Fix You

I Will Try To Fix You

_Warnings: Sex Scenes. Mentions of a bomb being built._  
_Disclaimers: I own nothing._  
_A/N: My mom actually knew a man who would sit there in her house, and build bombs just as a hobby. He'd take them down to the river and toss em in for fun. So yea, Enjoy reading._

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It had been two weeks since 'the attack' as Castiel had started calling it. He meant well, but the fact that he wasn't human caused his sense of when the right time to bring it up to be off. Dean tried as hard as he could, comforting his brother whenever he was upset. Talking him down when he had a episode, not wanting to be touched. He held his brother at night when he woke from a nightmare, covered in sweat and tears. Dean felt his heart breaking for his brother, whenever Sam was so upset that he didn't want to be touched, but he knew that the other part of Sam. The part that claimed Dean would never hurt him, wanted Dean to hold him, love him, comfort him. Sam was so confused now a days, and Dean found himself wishing to lock himself in the bathroom and sob for hours, more and more. This morning Dean couldn't take it anymore, Sam had woken and scrambled far from him in the bed, sat there sobbing and screaming for him not to touch him. Dean had left before he broke down sobbing, he sat on the bench for hours just letting it out. Cursing god for letting this happen, cursing himself for being so weak that he'd left his confused, emotional, upset brother and lover to ride out the storm alone. Dean just wanted to help his brother, and if he could he would have gone back in time and taken Sams place in being raped. But alas he couldn't, at least not that he knew of. Dean took a deep breath as he wiped the tears from his eyes and headed back to the motel room.

Sam knew he'd been hurting his brother the past few weeks. This morning when Dean had bolted out of the room on the verge of tears Sam knew then, knew that it was hurting his brother more then he could ever know. He hated himself for being weak, for cringing away from his brothers touch without even thinking about it. Sam knew in the back of his mind that Dean would never NEVER hurt him. That Dean would rather die, then cause Sam any pain. But his mind when he got like that, refused to listen to reason, refused to believe that anyone would want to touch a used, dirty whore like him. Sam was currently sobbing on the bed, his legs pulled up to his chest with his arms wrapped around his legs. Castiel popped into the room and found him like that, rocking back and forth calling out for his brother. His words weren't even full words anymore, it was more like 'M'soree Dea' instead of 'I'm Sorry Dean'. Castiel stood there for a few minutes before slowly approaching the bed "Sam?" He asked softly causing Sams eyes to snap to him. "NO! Don't! Don't Touch me!" Sam screamed, shoving back against the head board. Castiel held his hands up in a 'don't shoot' gesture. "Its alright, I won't touch you Sam I promise." He said. Sam stared at him for a few minutes before relaxing some. "Cas...?" "Yes Sam, its me." "I want Dea." Sam said, tears springing from his eyes. "Wheres Dea? I need him. Doesnt he love me anymore? Oh god, I drove him away didn't I? I knew he wouldn't want to stay with me. I'm dirty and used, a no good whore." Sams voice was getting louder with each word, his breath coming in quicker pants. His vision started to go black and the last thing he saw and heard before his world went black was Dean busting through the door going 'SAMMY!'

…...

….

…..

Dean was heading home, well back to the motel when his 'sammy senses' kicked in. He gasped and broke out at a run, charging down the street and just reaching when he heard 'Im dirty and used, a no good whore!' coming from inside. Sammy! Turning the doorknob he charged through the door to see Sam swaying where he sat. "SAMMY!" Shoving Castiel to the side he grabbed Sam just as he passed out. "Sammy?" Dean sobbed, pulling his brother into his lap and rocking him back and forth. He looked up to Castiel, a question in his eye. "He's alive Dean, he just had a panic attack. I came in and he was upset. He kept repeating 'I'm sorry Dea' over and over. I tried to calm him down and he realized it was me, then went off about how you left and didn't want him. Before I could reassure him that you live and breathe for him, well he passed out." Castiel said, knowing well enough that there was no point in keeping details from Dean. Dean simply nodded and shifted around on the bed, pulling Sam with him, cradling him in his lap.

Sam woke an hour later, curled up on something warm. He blinked and glanced around, the smell was familiar to him. It smelled of leather, gun powder, sweat and...Dean? Glancing to his left he found himself peering into the Hazel eyes of Dean. "Dea." He sighed, wrapping his arms around his brother. "You came back. Please don't leave me. I'll be good, I promise. You can...you can screw me all you want, I'll be a good lil whore." He felt Dean tense and his eyes grew hard, and cold. Sam leaned away from the deadly calm voice. "Whore? You think all you are is a whore to me? I thought you knew me better then that Sammy. But fine, you want to be my whore then we'll do it your way."

Dean shoved his brother from his lap and quickly stripped him of his pants and boxers. "Dean this isn't wise!" Castiel said from the corner. "Get out." He growled at Castiel, who glared but left none the less. Dean looked down at Sam who was looking up at him terrified of dean for the first time in his life. "You think your a whore Sammy? That all I want you for is sex? IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK!" Dean yelled at him, ripping his own pants and boxers off before crawling over Sam. He had no intent on actually fucking or raping his brother, but he had to make Sam think he was going to. He had to break Sam from this idea. "Ye...Yes." Sam Whispered, looking down. Dean drew his hand back and he backhanded Sam. "Do you think you're a whore!" Dean growled, leaning down and kissing, nipping and licking his brothers neck. He made sure to nip Sam harder then he'd ever done before. If Sam truly thought he was a whore, Dean wouldn't be gentle. "Answer me!" He growled, grabbing Sams arms and pinning them above his head. "Dea...Please." "ANSWER ME!" Dean yelled, looking into his brothers eyes. He saw them glistening with unshed tears. "NO! Please Dea stop! Your scaring me!" The dam broke and Sam started sobbing, Dean let out a breath and collapsed onto his brother, rolling to the side and pulling Sam into his chest. "I never thought of you as a whore Sammy. I would have loved you even if we'd never had sex." Dean murmured into his brothers ear, tears silently streaming down his face as Sam sobbed into his neck. Dean held his brother, rubbing his back as Sam sobbed, crying until his throat was raw. Dean didn't care that he was covered in slobber, snot and god knows what else, he was just praying that he'd gotten it through Sams head that he was NOT a whore.

Sam finally stopped sobbing, his throat was to sore for that. Instead he was curled up to Dean, the covers were pulled over them. His head was resting on Deans shoulder, with his arm wrapped around Deans waist and their legs entwined. Which of course, caused Sam to be able to feel just how 'happy' Dean was to be holding him. Deans hand idly ran through his hair, and every few minutes he planted a kiss to the top of his head. "I'm sorry I did that Sammy. But I couldn't stand hearing you think that you were a whore. Because you're not. Just like you're not dirty or used." Here he paused to pull Sams chin up looking into those emerald green eyes. "You are the hottest, kindest, sweetest, most adorable, charming, bashful, amusing, dashing, drop dead gorgeous, sex on legs, man or human that i've ever EVER Met. Please never doubt it when I say that I love you more then the air I breathe. I'm begging here." Dean whispered, searching his eyes for something. "I believe you." Sam whispered. Dean leaned in and pressed his lips against Sams, running his tongue across his bottom lip begging for entrance, which of course was gladly granted. Both moaned at the taste of the other, clutching and pulling the other closer as their tongues battled before Dean let Sam lead the kiss. However when Sams hand began to drift Dean pulled away from the kiss and grabbed his hand, squeezing it. "Good, because i'll repeat it as often as I have to until it finally sinks in."

Dean and Sam drifted off to sleep in that position, but somehow through the night Sam rolled onto his side, and Dean followed, spooning his brother from behind with a arm wrapped around his brothers waist. When Sam woke in the morning he tensed at the feeling of someones dick at his entrance, but one breath in and he knew it was Dean. Pressing his hips back he had to bite his lip as his brothers dick barely pushed into him. He pulled his hips up and pressed back again, harder this time. Causing his entrance to take in more of his brother. However when he tried again Deans hands gripped his hips and stopped them from doing so. "Sammy...much as it pains me to stop you, you're not ready. I don't want to hurt you more and you're not fully healed yet." Dean whispered, moving his hips away from Sams arse and leaning over, pressing kisses to his brothers neck. Sam moaned and turned his head, giving Dean more access to his neck. "I'm ready, please Dea. I'm going insane here. I need you." Sam groaned. Dean closed his eyes as he tried to fight back the urge to just plunge into his brothers tight orifice. "God Sammy...I want you to, I do babe. But I don't wanna hurt you. Two more weeks, thats all we gotta wait and then i'll make love to you all -kiss- night -nip- long -kiss-." He said, before sucking on the juncture between Sams neck and shoulder. Sam groaned "Your a tease." he replied, rolling over to kiss Dean properly. Sucking Deans tongue into his mouth and his arms wrapping around Deans neck. Dean groaned into the kiss, closing his eyes as he leaned into the kiss. Sams hands slipped down, moving from his neck to his shoulders and lower. When it reached his waist Dean grabbed his hand and opened his eyes, raising an eyebrow at Sam. "I want...to please you." Sam whispered, eying his brothers erection. "You please me everyday Sam. Believe me. I don't want to rush you." Sam leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

**** Sex Scene ****

"Your not rushing me Dea. I want to give you this, Please." Sam whispered, leaning up to take his brothers bottom lip in between his teeth, tugging slightly before sucking on it. Dean groaned and his dick twitched. "Seems someone wants some attention." Sam whispered, moving to kiss and suck on Deans neck. "You know you want this." Sam grasped Deans hand and wrapped it around his dick before grabbing Deans dick with his own hand. Dean gasped and his hips thrust upwards, into Sams hand. "Give into me Dea. Let me make you feel how you make me feel." Sam whispered, shifting so he was on top of his brother, their dicks grinding together, he'd pulled Deans hands up and had them pinned on either side of his face. Their fingers were entwined as he leaned down, sucking on Deans ear lobe. "Just say yes. I can make you feel good Dea." He whispered, nipping and sucking on Deans neck and he thrust against Dean, causing him to moan at the friction.

"Just one word Dea. Thats all it'll take for you to feel great." Sam said, grinding their hips together as he allowed his breath to caress his brothers ear. His tongue ran along the jugular vein, smirking as he heard Dean moan deep in his throat. "God...Yes Sammy. Please Yes!" He begged, thrusting his hips up. Sam leaned down and pressed his lips against Deans, thrusting his tongue into his mouth before teasing Deans, luring it into his own and sucking on it. Dean groaned and closed his eyes, god this was pure torture yet so good at the same time.

Sam pulled back and smirked, moving down he began to suck, nip and lick down Deans neck, he was pleased with the moans and groans Dean was making as he moved lower. Closing his mouth around of of Deans nipples he sucked, nipped and licked it, he then moved to the other nipple and laved the same attention onto it. Sam loved how Dean arched into his touch, moaning softly whenever he touched a extremely sensitive spot. "So gorgeous." Sam whispered, as he trailed kisses lower. Remembering how great it felt he dipped his tongue into Deans belly button before pulling out and thrusting in, imitating what he was going to do lower. Dean gasped and moaned, clenching the sheets in his fists. "Sammy" It was a whisper, but sounded so much like a prayer that Sam couldn't help but hmm against his brothers skin. Loving the reaction he got from the vibrations. Dean arched up spectacularly and moaned out his name "Saaaaaaaammmmmmmmyyy" Before collapsing back to the bed, his breath coming in pants. Sam made a mental note that humming into Deans belly button was a very sensitive spot, and caused beautiful reactions. Smirking he moved lower, eying his brothers dick like it was the key to his salvation. His tongue peeked out from behind his lips, swiping over them causing them to moisten. "So stunning. Perfect." Sam whispered, leaning closer. He ran his tongue from the base to the tip, causing Dean to moan and thrust his hips up. Whimpering as Sam pulled his tongue away, waiting until Dean relaxed to run his tongue from the tip to base, but this time he'd curled his tongue around it. Dean thrust up again and moaned, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. "Sammmmy... Stop playing." He groaned, whimpering at the loss of the moist tongue on his member. "Tell me what you want, Dea." Sam whispered, licking Deans dick playfully before leaning over it and barely taking it into his mouth before pulling away. Dean groaned "I want..." _To fuck me?_ Sam prayed silently. Though at this point he wouldn't be opposed to fucking Dean. He never noticed how delicious his brother tasted.

"I want..." Dean repeated. "Yes Dea?" Sam asked, barely taking Dean into his mouth again. _God I want to fuck you Sammy, but its to soon. To soon. _Dean thought. "Please Sammy, Fuck me." Dean pleaded. _Hey if Sam couldn't be fucked, he could do the fucking right?_ Dean reasoned. Sam smiled down at him "Oh thats the plan. But I get to have my fun first Dea. Revenge for you rejecting me." Sam whispered, leaning over him to whisper in his ear. Moving back down he swallowed Dean hole, deep throating him in one go. Dean gasped and thrust his hips up, though he tried not to. Sam bobbed his head once or twice before pulling back, causing Dean to groan at the loss. "Its ok Dea. Let go. I want you to fuck my mouth." Sam said. Though before he took Dean back into his mouth he got an Idea and rolled onto his back, pulling on Dean until he was straddling Sams chest. "Do it Dea. Please." He pleaded. If he couldn't have Dean fucking him in the ass, he at least wanted some part of him fucked by Dean. Not to mention, it was a good test...considering the guy hadn't polluted his mouth. Dean looked down at him and nodded, before moving to all fours with his dick pressing against Sams mouth. Sam closed his eyes and opened his mouth, enjoying the feeling as Dean pushed his hard member to the back of his throat. Hallowing out his cheeks he hummed around him. This caused Dean to moan and thrust deeper into Sams mouth causing him to gag for a second before Dean pulled back, just the tip still between his lips. Glancing down once Dean moaned at the sight. "I love you, Sammy." He whispered before snapping his hips forward and forcing his dick down Sams throat.

Sam relaxed his jaw and breathed through his nose as he let Dean fuck his mouth, circling the head with his tongue when Dean pulled out and focusing on the vein when he thrust back in. As Deans pace picked up he couldn't help but smiling to himself, at least in his head. They'd so have to do this more often, because well he enjoyed it and if the moans were anything to go by, so did Dean. "Sammy im gonna cum..." Dean groaned just as his dick pulsed and he thrust one last time deeply into Sams mouth, pulsing as the cum shot down Sams throat. He greedily swallowed every last drop, even grabbing Dean when he went to pull out and made sure to lick him clean. Dean groaned and flopped to the side, pulling Sam up him and thrusting his tongue into Sams mouth. After thoroughly ravishing his mouth Dean broke from the kiss and leaned up. "Now, Fuck me." He whispered, lightly biting his brothers ear. Sam groaned and grabbed the lube from the nightstand, slicking up three fingers he slowly inserted each one of them, taking his time to thoroughly stretch his brother. "Sam, im good. Now fuck me damnit." Dean growled out. "As you wish." Sam smirked, moving up after slicking his dick up with lube he pushed in slowly, pausing at any sign of pain like Dean did for him until he was fully seated. After waiting for a few seconds he pulled out and thrust back in. Slow, shallow starts at the start but he soon sped up until he was almost pulling out completely and thrusting back in. "Mmm God. So tight." He groaned. "Welcome...god To my oooooh World." Dean said as Sam continued to thrust into him. "No wonder you like fucking me." Sam whispered. "Making love...not fucking. I...ohhhhh make love to youuuuuu." Sam smirked and kissed his brother passionately before pulling back. "I know." Sam said before he began to stroke Dean in time to his thrusts. "Sammy ima" Dean warned before his tight channel well tightened even more and his dick pulsed, cumming between the two of them while milking Sam for all he was worth. Sam collapsed on top of Dean panting, before gently pulling out and rolling next to him. "I can totally see the perks to bottoming." Dean whispered, pulling Sam into his chest. "Oh? And that is." "I feel closer to you, claimed by you. Also, you do all the work and I just lay here." Sam smirked and pressed a kiss to deans chest. "Reclaim me?" He whispered. "But what if I hurt you?" Dean asked. "You wont." Sam replied.

*****End Sex Scene*******

Dean Doubted that, Very much. The doctor had said that it'd take a month before Sam was healed enough to have sex. But Dean knew that his brother needed it, to feel like himself again he needed Dean to make love to him, to claim him. Dean clutched his brother to him tighter. "Im not saying no Sammy." He whispered into his brothers ear. "Just...not now. Though, I do know a way to claim you without sex." He continued. Sam rolled towards him and arched an eyebrow. "Course, you might find it disgusting." Dean continued. "Nothing you say, could be disgusting Dea." Sam replied, caressing his brothers face. Dean sighed. "I was going to say..." Dean leaned in closer and whispered so only Sam could hear, because the writer is cruel and wants to make you wait for the scene below to find out what Deans plan is.

*******Second Sex Scene*******

Sam had agreed to what Dean had planned, it was for this reason he was currently kneeling in front of Dean, bobbing his head up and down on Deans hardened member, listening as Dean moaned and thrust his hips up lightly. The plan had pleased Sam. It would mark him, claim him as Deans without damaging him, and if Dean was willing to do it. Who was he to say no? Sam caressed the underside of Deans dick with his tongue, pulling back he allowed his tongue to circle the head as he hummed on the way down. Dean groaned and thrust up, his hand tangled in his brothers hair. "God, Sammy..." Dea moaned, screwing his eyes shut. "So close...so close babe." Sam smirked up at his brother before dropping a hand down, grasping his brothers balls he began to massage them, toy with them as he continued to hallow out his cheeks and hum. Dean tensed, his prick pulsed as his balls pulled up and he pushed Sams head down slightly as he came into Sams mouth with a low drawn out "Saaaaammmyy" It was breathless, and left him gasping for breath as Sam made sure to capture every bit of cum. Climbing up and over Dean he pressed his lips to his brothers, who opened his mouth willingly and allowed the cum to be pushed into his mouth. So many would find this disgusting, but if Sam wanted him to reclaim him well damnit he'd do it. Once all of it was in his mouth he waited for Sammy to flop onto his stomach with his ass slightly in the air. Dean rubbed his back reassuringly before pulling his ass cheeks apart and pressing his mouth to the puckered entrance. Carefully pushing his tongue through his brothers muscle, massaging his back and thighs through the pain. Once it was through he curled his tongue to create a straw like...thing before pushing the Cum into his brothers arse. Once it was all pushed in, he slowly pulled his tongue out, massaging the muscle with it for several minutes before pressing a kiss there and pulling back. Once he pulled back he laid down on the bed, pressing a kiss to Sams shoulder. "Better?" Sam turned his head towards him and nodded "Much." He whispered.

*****End sex scene 2********

Sam really did feel better after that, he felt less dirty. His lover still wanted him and had even 'claimed' him. Albeit in a non conventional way, but it'd have to do until he was healed fully. Dean kept promising him that as soon as he was healed, that Dean would make love to him all day long, only stopping for drinks, food or well the bathroom. He seriously hoped that 'day' included night as well. That sounded grand to Sam, hell he would have loved to stay curled up in bed with Dean for the rest of their lives. However, they'd been here for two weeks and were no closer to who, or what was blowing things up in Ferndale. It was for this reason that Sam was currently curled up on the bed with a bag of chips and flipping stations on the TV while Dean was off investigating. Something about 'bed rest' under 'lovers orders'. Sam huffed out an annoyed sigh as he shifted on the bed. Sam loved his brother, but there were times that Dean just drove him insane. This was one of those times that he wished he could just drive a knife through his brothers chest and dean NOT die.

Dean had hated leaving Sam at home, but he didn't need him walking around for hours on end. God forbid he do something to re injure his...current injury. Dean might have told Sam he was fine with their arrangement, trading blow jobs. But the truth was he missed being buried inside of Sam. He figured it gave them both a sense of security. Dean was secure that someone was there, real that he could feel, grab. Someone he knew would never leave him. Sam, well Sam loved it because he felt full, claimed, loved and wanted. But the truth was, he was all of that and needed as well. Dean didn't know what he'd do if he ever lost Sam. Go insane he figured, that'd just be grand right? Sighing he pushed open a door to the abandoned building in front of him and froze at what he saw. There sitting at a table was a tall, blond haired man... HUMAN. Building a...bomb! Dean glanced around before taking a deep breath. "Uh...Hi?" He asked quietly. Vernon, the man at the table turned around and allowed his deep blue eyes to roam over Deans body. He was quite attractive. Allowing his mouth to quirk up in a half smirk he turned back to his bomb. "Hi." Dean blinked "Can I ask what you're doing?" "Building a bomb." "I can see that...I meant why." "Oh its a hobby." "Right...Never heard of fishing?" "Yea, its just boring. Tell me, what kind of hobbies do YOU have?" Vernon asked as he turned around with both brows raised. "Hunting demons?" Dean replied meekly. "Ah, that explains it. Your a demon hunter. Well as you can see, no demons here. So off ya go." "Er I can't just let you kill innocent people dude." "Oh and what will you do to stop me?" Vernon asked, turning to glare at Dean. "Uhhh..." Vernon stood from his chair and crossed his arms, waiting. "Nothing I guess..." Dean reluctantly mumbled. "Good, now get lost." Vernon huffed before sitting down again. Dean stood there aghast before turning and walking from the building. Weird dude man. Weird dude.


	14. I Turn To You

I turn to you.

_When I'm lost in the rain  
In your eyes I know I'll find the light  
To light my way, when I'm scared losing ground  
When my world is going crazy you can turn it all around  
And when I'm down you're there pushing me to the top  
You're always there giving me all you've got_

_For a shield, from the storm for a friend, for a love  
To keep me safe and warm, I turn to you  
For the strength to be strong, for the will to carry on  
For everything you do, for everything that's true, I turn to you_

_When I lose the will to win  
I just reach for you and I can reach the sky again  
I can do anything 'cause your love is so amazing  
'Cause your love inspires me  
And when I need a friend you're always on my side  
Giving me faith taking me through the night _

_A/N: Alright, This is just basically a 'Sams progress' chapter. Enjoy. There are several adorable scenes in this chapter. Thanks for the reviews, and keep them up. I love getting ya'lls opinions._

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Dean headed back to the Motel room, finding it odd that he found some dude with a hobby to build bombs in some abandoned building. It was human, so he couldn't kill it which sucked right about now. There was a reason he always said that 'Demons I understand. Humans are just crazy' He believed that fit for this, first that bastard that'd raped his brother. Dean hated seeing Sam like this, lost and confused. Scared of Dean when he woke from a nightmare, Dean saw the pain that flashed through Sams eyes when Dean would lean away from him even though it was always Sam that started screaming not to touch him. It was confusing, Dean didn't know how to fix his brother and now he had some nut case building bombs. That was just great.

Sighing he ran his hand over his face, listening to the radio seemed to relax him slightly. After what seemed hours he pulled up in front of their room and sat there, watching Castiel and Sam through the window. However the longer he watched, the more he realized that Sam was having an episode. Castiel had his hands held up in a surrendering gesture that he'd learned from Dean, and Sam was cowering in the corner of the bed, tears streaming down his face as he shook with sobs. Glancing up at the sky he glared "You just couldn't give us a break could you? Sam didn't deserve this you fucking asshole." Dean snarled at God, well really at no one but it made him feel better before he shoved the car door open and gracefully slid out. Shutting it behind him he walked to the rooms door and unlocked it, slipping inside and locking it behind him. Once inside he could hear exactly what was being said. Neither had noticed him yet, so he stood there for a few seconds. "Sam you have to take a shower. Dean asked me to help you." Castiel tried to plead. "NO! Don't touch me! Dea! HELP DEA! PLEASE!" Sam was sobbing, trying to bury himself into the wall. Dean flinched at this and sighed, striding over to the bed and placing his hand on the angels shoulder. Castiel glanced up, nodded and backed off.

"Sammy?" Dean whispered, standing at the edge of the bed. Sams eyes snapped up and widened. "Dea.." That one word was so broken, yet carried so much hope and relief. Dean closed his eyes for a second to take a deep breath. "Yea, I'm here." Dean extended a hand towards his brother. Giving Sam the choice to come to him or remain in his corner. Sam seemed conflicted for several minutes, and when Dean was about to drop his hand Sam moved forward, crawling across the bed and basically throwing himself into Deans chest. "Dea" Sam sobbed into his shirt, his arms wrapping around Deans waist, hands clutching the fabric and pulling, tugging him even closer. Dean allowed himself one tear to escape, before he wrapped his arms around Sam and held onto him as well, shaking with the force of Sams sobs. "Shhh Its ok. Castiel won't touch you, I promise." Dean whispered, stroking the back of Sams head. He should have known better then to ask Cas to help get Sam into the shower. Even though Sam knew it was Castiel, and that Cas wouldn't hurt him. His brain refused to let anyone except Dean to touch him. Sam seemed to remember the angel then and pulled back to look around the room. His emerald eyes, glistening with tears landed on Castiels figure in the corner of the room. "Cas..." Sam whispered, unwrapping one arm to hold out a hand to the angel. Castiel blinked and looked to Dean, who nodded. Castiel slowly walked over, and Sam grabbed him pulling him closer and wrapping that arm around Castiels waist. Cas stood there stiff, confused and staring at Dean with a 'errr' expression. He hesitantly placed a hand on Sams back "Its ok Sam." He said. Dean smirked at his expression, he looked so confused and uncomfortable. Of course he should be glad that it was Deans stomach Sam had his face buried into, because he figured that would have just made Castiel even more uncomfortable.

Sam sniffled into Deans stomach and clutched them closer, causing them to stumble slightly. Dean sighed and continued to stroke the back of Sams head while Cas stood there with his hand placed on Sams back. "I know you wouldn't hurt me Cas... M'sorry' He mumbled into Deans stomach but Cas heard him anyways. "Its understandable Sam, theres no rush on you getting better. Me and Dean are here for you." Cas said, staring at Dean as he said it. "Yea Sammy. Cas understands that you don't mean to freak out on him, as do I. We love you. Of course, I love you more." Dean said, smirking as Cas rolled his eyes. "Really?" Sam asked, pulling back to look into both the hazel eyed sex god that he loved, and the bright blue eyed angel he trusted. "Yes" Both Dean and Cas replied at the same time. Sam forced himself to smile at them, dropping his arm from around Cas who gratefully stepped back only a step or so. Sam wrapped the arm around Deans waist again and buried his face into Deans stomach again. Dean allowed his brother to clutch onto him, but knew he wasn't crying from the lack of body shaking sobs. He ran his hand through Sams hair, caressing his brothers face before moving his hand up to run through the hair again. Dean began to sway back and forth slightly, well really it was side to side. After what seemed to be forever Sam pulled back "I love you too, Dea." Sam whispered, his eyes hooded. Dean knew his brother was tired, but he needed to take a shower. Leaning down he pressed a kiss to Sams forehead. "I know." He replied. "How about I go start ya a bath? Hmm? Cas can go get dinner while you're in the bathroom. We'll have dinner and go to bed. Yea?" Sam nodded his head and slowly climbed off the bed, but didn't let go of Dean as he was lead into the bathroom. Of course, walking with you clinging to your brother was hard, so he'd grabbed onto Deans pants as they walked.

Once in the bathroom Dean turned on the water, making sure to bleach out the tub earlier in the day. God knows he didn't want his brother getting any diseases. Castiel had assured him it was clean, and had even used his powers to clean it as well. It just showed how Cas cared for Sam. Dean waited for the water to get to the right temperature before plugging up the tub and turning around. Sam was standing there, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "Sammy?" Dean called, causing Sam to snap his eyes to him. "Yea Dea?" he whispered. "Ya gotta strip to take a bath." Dean said softly. "O...Oh yea, right." Sam mumbled, blushing slightly before he pulled his shirt over his head and began to undo his jeans. Glancing at Dean he walked over to the tub before pulling them down and stepping out of them. Once naked he slid into the tub. "What do you want for dinner?" Dean asked, trying to keep his tone normal. Seeing Sam naked always had the same reaction on him. "Uh...What we normally get?" Sam asked sweetly. "Of course." Dean said, leaning down and pressing at kiss to the top of Sams head. "Dea? Stay in here with me?" Sam asked, quietly. Dean paused, turned around and nodded "Sure, just lemme tell Cas what to get for dinner." Sam nodded and Dean walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

"Sam wants a salad, potato salad on the side, sweet tea, and fish. I want a porkchop with potato salad on the side, sweet tea, and fries." Dean said, looking up at Castiel. "Alright, I'll get that." Cas replied. "Dean, you should probably think about getting a job, and renting a house or apartment... Its going to take Sam awhile to recover, and what he needs is stability. Moving around hunt to hunt won't help him at all." Cas added on, grabbing Deans arm as he'd turned. "I know... I'll...start looking in the morning." Dean replied. Castiel nodded "I'll help as much as I can." "Thanks Cas, for you know. Sticking around and helping. I appreciate it, so does Sam." "I know Dean." Dean nodded and slipped back into the bathroom to find Sam sitting there, scrubbing his legs as hard as he could and making them red, raw. He tried to ignore the red tainting the water. Blood. "Sammy! Sam stop!" Dean cried, crossing the room and reaching into the water grabbing the wash cloth from his brother. "I can still feel him Dea...I can still feel him. Im dirty, so dirty. I'm trying to get better, I swear I am but I can still FEEL him." Tears were streaming down Sams face. "I know Sammy, I know. Your doin great too. Touching Cas tonight, that was progress. It was. The look on his face too was priceless man." Dean said, taking the wash cloth and gently washing Sams chest. "Really?" Sam whispered, peering up at him. "Yea. I'd never lie to ya." Dean replied, dipping the wash cloth into the water again and moving to Sams stomach.

Sam sighed and leaned back against the back of the tub, his hand resting on one of Deans arms as Dean leaned over the tub."I know you wouldn't." Sam replied, turning his head to look at Dean as he washed his brothers legs, moving up towards his dick. Dean smiled down at Sam and turned the arm he was leaning on, pulling it back to entwine his fingers with Sams. "I will always love you. Sammy." Sam just gave him a smile and closed his eyes. "Now, can I trust you to finish washin yourself babe?" "Mhm." Dean handed him the wash cloth and settled back on his heels. Sam finished washing himself before he turned to Dean and held out the shampoo. Dean smirked and took the bottle of shampoo, having Sam scoot forward some and tilt his head back. He filled up a large cup and poured it over Sams head, getting his hair wet before he squirted some shampoo into his brothers hair and began to rub it in. Sam hmmed and closed his eyes, leaning slightly against the side of the tub. He just enjoyed the feeling of Deans fingers running through his hair, scrubbing and massaging. It stopped to soon though, as Dean told him he had to rinse it out. This repeated for conditioner, since Sam had longer hair. Once he was done Sam stood up and Dean wrapped a towel around his waist, leading him into the motel room. Dean left him to get dressed, and only walked back into the bedroom when Sam called for him.

Castiel came back a half hour later, and found both Dean and Sam curled up on the bed watching TV. Sam had his head in Deans lap, and Dean was running his hand through Sams hair. Though it was still drying. Cas couldn't help but smile at those two, if one saw them like that they would never tell one of them had episodes, freak outs of not wanting to be touched. "Sam, Dean. I got your food." Cas called as he dropped it on the table. Sam grinned and rolled off the bed, walking towards the table. He only hesitated slightly before walking up and sitting down in the chair closest to Cas, before pulling his food to him. Dean grinned and sat down across from Sam, taking his food. They had a peaceful dinner, Cas of course simply moved to the bed to watch TV since he didn't need to eat.

After dinner Castiel told them that he'd stand watch, and went outside. Sam and Dean got ready for bed and Sam crawled into the bed. Pulling the covers up he laid there, watching as Dean made sure the salt lines were perfect before he crawled into the beds, holding his arms out in a 'come here' gesture. Sam didn't hesitate as he shifted closer and curled up to his brothers side, resting his head on Deans shoulder as his arm wrapped around Deans waist. Dean slipped a arm under Sam and held him against his body, his head tilted down slightly to rest on top of Sams. "Love ya Sammy, Night." "Love ya Dea." Sam whispered, before leaning up and pressing his lips to Deans in a chaste kiss. Sam released a contented sigh and slowly drifted off to sleep, shortly followed by Dean. Both felt safe with their 'guardian angel' watching over them.

Dean woke early the next morning and gently extracted himself from his brothers hold. Getting dressed he wrote a note and headed out to look for a job. He had to take care of Sam, that was what he focused on for the time being. Taking care of Sam and making sure he got better. Once he was better they'd worry about hunting down demons. This was just a pit stop along their way right? Yea. Heading down 27 he hit 50 and headed west until he spotted an advanced auto shop with a 'now hiring' sign. He knew a lot about cars right? Shrugging he pulled into the parking lot and walked into the building. "Can I help you?" The man behind the desk asked. "Uh yea. Do you have an application?" Dean asked, looking the man in the eye. "Uh...Er yea...Here." The man mumbled out, hastily handing him the piece of paper. Dean thanked him, moved down the counter and filled it out while he stood there. "Here." Dean said handing it back. "Er thanks..." The guy mumbled out, taking the piece of paper. His eyes widened slightly as he read all that Dean had put down. "Impressive." It was only then that Dean noticed the man was a manager. "So, why did you apply here?" The man asked. "Er to be honest. My lover was raped when we came to town. We sold all we had and were traveling around the world. Hes to shaken up to continue, so I figured settling down here until he gets better. His brother said it could be months maybe years?" Dean shrugged and sighed, putting on his best 'pity me' face. "Thats horrible. I'm sorry to hear about your...lover? It seems you're qualified to work here. When can you start?" The guy asked. "Uh, soon as possible?" Dean said. "Thursday work for you?" "Yea" "Well, See ya Thursday then." "Thanks." Dean walked out of the building and climbed back into his car. One thing down, now all he had to do was find them an apartment as soon as he could.

Sighing he pulled out of the parking lot and drove back towards the motel. Though something up ahead on the corner caught his attention. As he got closer he noticed it was a box, a moving box. He blinked and pulled off onto the side of the road and walked over. Pickin up the sign that was leaning against the box he read over it. 'Free Puppies to Good Homes.

Rhodesian Ridgeback Mixes' Dean set the sign back down and peered into the box. Watching as the pups trampled each other and whined, trying to climb up the side. Smirking he decided he'd go get Sam and bring him back here to pick one out. As he started to leave he noticed a man walking out of the house the box was in front of. "Interest in one?" The man asked. Dean stopped and turned around "Maybe. I'm gonna bring my lover by and he'll decide." Dean said, staring into the mans eyes challenging him. "Ah, a fag huh? Well as long as it gets one them mutts gone I don't care. Hurry back." He growled out. Dean rolled his eyes and strolled back to the Impala, heading back to the motel.

Dean pulled up and left the car running, considering he was parked right in front of their room. Opening the door he found Castiel leaning against the wall and Sam munching on some toast. "Hey Sammy. Cas." Castiel nodded at him and Sam turned around, setting the bread down and getting up. He walked over to Dean and wrapped his arms around deans waist, pressing a kiss to his neck. "Morning Dea." Dean had to swallow as he grinned down at Sam. "Mornin babe." It was times like this that you would swear there was nothing 'wrong' with Sam. That he didn't spend most of his time flinching away from Deans touch. Dean had learned to relish in the moments. He buried his face in Sams hair and breathed in, before pressing a kiss to his forehead. "So." Dean said, pulling back slightly. "I got a surprise for you. Wanna take a ride with me Sammy?" Sam gazed at him for several minutes, seeming to judge what Dean was hiding before nodding. Dean grinned, entwined their fingers and lead Sam out to the car. Once Sam was securely in the passenger seat Dean pulled out and headed back to where the dogs where.

It only took five minutes, before they pulled up and Sam looked confused when they pulled off the side of the road. "Come on." Dean said, getting out and holding his hand out for Sam. Sams brows furrowed but he decided to follow, after all Dean would never hurt him. Getting out of the car he walked around the hood and hesitantly took Deans hand, but clutched it like a life line once he had. Dean offered him a warm smile before he lead him over to the box. Sams body language changed in two seconds once he saw the puppies, a grin spread across his face and he relaxed. "They're adorable Dea." He whispered. "And they're free. Pick one and leave." A dude in a chair gruffed out. Sam flinched and stepped into Deans side, whimpering. Dean wrapped his arm around Deans waist and glared at the guy. Leaning over he kissed Sams neck. "Pick one babe." He whispered. Sam peered up from where'd he tucked his head down onto Deans shoulder and once he saw the smile he returned it. Bending over the box he scanned through the puppies. Sam spotted a light wheaten, liver nosed male and reached down pulling him from the box. "I want him." Sam whispered to Dean, holding the puppy to his chest. "Picked one? Good now get." The man growled. Dean rolled his eyes as Sam flinched again, causing Dean to glare again. Pulling Sam closer to him he sighed "Lets go babe." Sam nodded, and clutching the puppy walked to the impala with Dean.

"We're gonna have to name him. And get him food, a collar, leash, toys, bowls." Sam said as soon as they pulled off. The puppy was curled up in his lap and he was petting it from head to butt. Sam had a great big smile spread across his face as he glanced from the puppy to Dean. "Thanks, Dea." He finally said, scooting down the bench seat and leaning into Deans side. Dean wrapped his arm around Sams waist "We'll get him everything he needs Sammy. As for the thanks, I just like seeing you happy." Dean replied, pressing a kiss to Sams head. "Maybe someone at a gas station knows where a pet store is?" Sam whispered. "Yea, lets go ask...but are you sure you're ready to go out in public babe?" Dean asked, rubbing Sams side where he'd managed to push his shirt up enough to expose some of his flesh."If your with me, I can do anything Dea." Sam replied, leaning into Dean even more and letting a contented sigh escape him. Dean nodded "Alright." He pulled into the next gas station and asked the first person he saw where a pet store was, that allowed dogs inside. "Well, theres a pet supermarket right down 50." One chick said. Dean thanked her and went in the direction she pointed.

It took about five minutes to find the Pet supermarket and Dean pulled into the parking lot, shutting off the Impala. He got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side, opening the door as Sam got out, clutching the puppy to him. Dean shook his head slightly, wrapping a arm around Sams waist they walked towards the building. Sam pressed himself into Deans side and dean tightened his grip on Sam as they walked through the doors. "If at anytime it gets to be to much, just tell me." Dean whispered. Sam nodded and pushed forward. He was determined to do this, it wouldn't be fair to Dean if because of Sam they could never go out in public again.

Dean kept his arm wrapped around Sams waist, despite the stares they got. A glare was plastered onto his face as if to say 'you got a problem with me holding another man? Say something, I dare you' Sam might have been taller then Dean, but it was clear who the 'boss' in the relationship was, or so the people watching them would think as Dean steered Sam to the dog isle. By time they got to the dog isle Sam was whimpering under his breath. "Dea..." He whispered. "They know. They know I'm dirty, ruined." Dean looked up to see tears glistening in his brothers eyes. "Shhh No they don't. They're just jealous I got such a handsome boyfriend and they don't." He said, rubbing circles in Sams back. "We can leave if you want to Sammy. No judgment." Dean offered and Sam shook his head, clutching at the puppy who was now licking tears from Sams face. "N...No I...I wanna do this... You Deserve it for..." But Sam trailed off. He didn't have to continue. Dean knew what he meant 'for dropping everything to take care of worthless me'. Dean shook his head "Your not worthless." He said, his tone authoritative and strong, filled with the love he held for the man in front of him. "I would do it a thousand times over. I've told you before, but it just doesn't seem to sink through that thick skull of yours. I love you. You Sammy YOU are my world." All this was said in a whisper, but the emotion behind the words were just as strong as if he'd said them louder or yelling. He'd reached up to caress his brothers face, brushing away a stray tear. "Ignore them. Who cares what they think yea? The only people that matter? Support us. Cas and Bobby. Thats all we need." Dean said, watching as Sam nodded. Dean offered him a smile "Now, lets get this lil guy some things huh?" "Yea." Sam said, wiping his tears away and smiling back. He reached down and caressed the dogs ear.

They turned around to find a worker looking between the two of them to the dog. "Everything alright here?" The man, Neko asked. Dean glared at him, letting Sam browse through the collars and leashes. Glancing at Sam and seeing he was totally oblivious he pulled the man off a few feet. "Everything's fine. Now. However my lover was driven to tears because of people staring at us." "Well if he doesn't like the stares, he shouldn't be a fag." The man hissed in a whisper. "Be glad that if I punched you, it'd just upset him...Neko." Dean spat, keeping his voice low. "He wasn't upset because hes a fag. He was upset because hes getting over being raped. Not that its any of your concern but maybe next time you will learn not to judge so quickly. Yea?" Dean growled, clenching his fist. Neko sputtered at this, glancing at Sam and how he shifted nervously and clutched at the puppy even while browsing collars and leashes. "I apologize sir... My sister was raped before, she still hasn't gotten over it. Four years and she won't come out of the house. Hes lucky to have you. If anyone gives you anymore trouble, please inform me." Neko said, in a whisper. "Thanks." With that Dean walked off and reached Sam just as he looked up from the collars, holding it out to Dean. "What do you think?" He asked. Dean glanced down at the collar and leash and couldn't help but smirking. "Its perfect." It was a nylon collar and leash, with tree designs on it, like some hunting camouflage was. Sam grinned and handed them to Dean who willingly took them and placed them in the basket. Next they moved to toys and Sam started browsing them while Dean stood watch. Glaring at anyone that looked at them longer then necessary.

Sam put the first toy into the basket after five minutes, and Dean glanced down to see a rope with a ridged rubber...thing between two knots. Whatever. Next was a plush mallard duck toy, that squeaked when you squeezed it. Oh yea that was gonna be loads of fun when he had a hang over. A rubber thing that said it was a 'kong' was dumped in next, it apparently came with treats to stuff inside. Sam of course dumped the can of cheese like stuff to fill it with in the basket too. Next were two tennis balls and Dean smirked, glad to see that Sam was enjoying this. He'd buy as much stuff as Sam wanted, no matter what. Just so long as he could keep that smile on Sams face. "Havin fun there?" Dean said, reaching out to rub Sams back. "Yea! Theres just so many toys. He needs toys." Dean chuckled "Yes, he does. No need to get em all today though. Hes gonna be one spoiled dog." Dean replied, continuing to rub circles in Sams back. He noticed that Sam hadn't flinched away, but figured it was because he said something first, letting his brain know that it was 'just dean'. "Hmmm True. Ok food next." Sam replied, turning and looking around. Dean chuckled, wrapped a arm around Sam and lead him to the food isle where they got him Pedigree puppy chow, a small bag in case he didn't like it. Along with two black bowls with white paw prints around it.

Heading to the check out he noticed Neko was the one running the register, and placed the basket on the counter. "Got the little guy a lot of stuff huh?" Neko joked as he scanned everything. "Well, What Sam wants, Sam gets" Dean replied, pressing a kiss to Sams cheek and causing Sam to blush and splutter, but he turned a glare onto his brother. One that Dean wasn't worried about, because of the playful glint behind it. Neko cleared his throat, clearly still uncomfortable. "Yes, well does the lil pup have a name yet?" Sam looked at Dean, clearly not comfortable with speaking to strangers yet. "Not yet." Dean replied and Neko nodded. "55.75 is your total." Neko said. Dean reached into his wallet and pulled out a fifty, a five and a one and handed it to Neko. He then took the bags "Keep the change." and lead Sam out to the Impala where they placed the puppy in the back seat and Sam slipped his collar onto him. "It looks great on him Dea." Sam said from the front seat. "Yes it does." Dean said, but was looking at the smile spread across Sams face. Sam noticed this and blushed slightly, before Dean leaned over and pressed his lips against Sams, running his tongue across his bottom lip begging for entrance. Sam granted it almost immediately and moaned as Deans tongue plunged into his mouth. However before they could get further, not that Dean would have let it. Someone tapped on the window causing Dean to groan as he pulled away from Sam. Pressing a Chaste kiss against his lips as he did. Turning around he found Vernon, the man who'd been building bombs the day before standing there. Blinking Dean rolled down his window "Thought that was you. Who's that handsome man you're making out with?" Vernon asked, quietly. "Uh." Was Sams great reply. Dean reached over and gripped Sams hand, squeezing it. "My lover. What are you doing here...? Oh please tell me you're not blowing up pet supermarket." Dean replied, causing Vernon to smirk. "No no, just coming to get my dog some things. I'm Vernon, by the way." Dean nodded "Dean. Ah well, we gotta get home." "Alright." Vernon replied, waved to Sam and walked off. _Damn his lover is hot_ he thought as he walked into the pet supermarket.

"Blow the pet supermarket up?" Was the first thing Sam said and Dean turned to give him a sheepish grin. "I found out who was blowing things up. Good news, not a demon. Bad news? Its a human, and its uh Vernon." Sam simply stared, blinking at him. "Oh..." "Yea" With that Dean pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to the motel. "So uh Sam?" "Yea?" "I got a job." "Oh? A hunt?" "Er no. A job at a auto parts store." "...Why?" "Figured we could hang around here for awhile, get an apartment." "This is because of me, isn't it?" "What? No." "Dean" "Fine, Cas said you need stability and hes right. Running from hunt to hunt won't help you." "So you really did drop everything because of me." "No! I wanted to do this Sam." Dean pulled off to the side of the road and twisted around, grabbing Sams hand. "Please, let me do this for you. I've been so confused, I don't know how to help you. Half the time you flinch away from me and I know you don't mean to do it, but it hurts. I just want you to get better. I just want to see you smile, to see that haunted look in your eyes go away. I just want you." Dean said, ignoring the fact that his eyes were blurring with tears. Sam stared at his big brother, his protector breaking down in front of him. "Let me be there, please Sammy... I don't care how long it takes, I'll always be at your side. When you cry? When you scream and cuss. When you flinch away from all contact, when you refuse to come outside. I want to be there, comforting you. Please, Let me help you." Dean pleaded, staring into those emerald eyes he loved so much. "Dea..." Sam said, the word broken and sad. Sam scooted down the bench seat and crawled into Deans lap, leaning down once he was straddling his brother and pressed his lips against Deans, he kept it chaste but the passion behind it was not missed on Dean. It was his way of telling Dean he wanted him there, though he was currently to choked up to say it. Dean placed his hands on Sams hips and clutched, pulling Sam closer to him and burying his face into Sams neck. "I love you, Dea." Sam whispered, clutching his brother against him as well. To anyone outside the car it would look like they were fucking on the side of the road, but neither cared. Sam held Dean through his sobs, something that was rare to begin with and now even more so. But then again, even heros were allowed to have breakdowns right? "God. I shouldn't have dumped all this on you." Dean murmured, trying to pull back. "Shh Dea, I might be hurt, damaged but I will always be here for you." Sam said, kissing his brother again. It was the first sign that Sam was slowly recovering. Truly recovering. Dean smiled into the kiss and moved his hands up, holding Sams mouth to his though he would have let go if Sam wanted him to.

Breaking the kiss when the need for air grew to be to much, Dean and Sam both had a smile plastered on their faces. Dean twisted around and laid Sam back on the bench seat. He moved to lay on top of Sam and began to pepper kisses across Sams face, laughing every now and then. "I love you so much Sammy." Sam smiled, letting Dean lay him down on the bench seat and lay on top of him. As he began to pepper kisses Sam laughed, wrapping his arms around Deans neck. The joy radiating from his brother was contagious. Dean grinned down at his brother, and a glint soon appeared in his eye. "Oh god. Dean no." Deans smirk grew as he moved his hands down his brothers side. "Aww, why not Sammy?" Dean replied. "Dea!" Dean cackled before he started tickling his brother, causing Sam to wriggle and screech out in laughter. "DEA STOP! DEA!" His eyes burst with tears as he was laughing so hard, gasping in breath. "Whats that, you love your drop dead sexy brother?" Dean asked. "Dea!" Sam gasped. "Alright alright!" Dean stopped his attack for a second. "I love...my pain in the ass brother." "Oh! Your in for it now!" Dean said, returning to his tickle attack with renewed vigor. "DEA!" Sam laughed out, shoving at his brothers chest as he tossed his head back gasping for breath. His face was bright red and his stomach was hurting from laughing so much. "ALRIGHT!" Dean stopped. "I love my drop dead sexy brother." Sam gasped out and Dean smirked. "I knew it." He said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his brothers forehead. The puppy was barking in the back seat, trying to climb up front. Dean crawled off his brother and Sam sat up, reaching in the back and pulling the dog into his lap. "Its alright Sirius." He said. "Sirius?" Dean asked. Sam shrugged "It fits." "That it does. Seems he knows hes suppose to be yours." Dean replied, smiling as Sirius checked to see if Sam was hurt before growling at Dean, who held his hands up in mock surrender. Sirius snorted at him before curling up in Sams lap, watching Dean as they drove back to the motel.  


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_A/N: So, What'd you think? Adorable? R&R. Working on Chapter 14 next. Enjoy._


	15. You And Me

You And Me  
_A/N: So, heres the next chapter. Enjoy._  
_Warnings: Sex Scene_

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It was Thursday, Dean had to get up early and go to work. It was currently five in the morning and he rolled out of bed, careful not to disturb Sam or Sirius. However it proved to be a futile attempt when he walked into the bathroom and heard Sams voice. "Dea?" He sounded half asleep, and Dean figured he'd just woke to a empty bed. "DEA!" Now the voice was bordering on hysterical. "In the shower, Sammy." He heard Sam padding into the bathroom, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Why are you up so early Dea?" He asked, yawning. "I gotta go to work, remember?" "Oh...yea." Dean watched as Sam frowned and he sighed. Walking over he wrapped his arms around Sams waist. "Don't leave me Dea?" Sam whimpered. "I'm not leaving you. But I have to work Baby boy. We need to get an apartment or rent a house so Sirius and you can have a yard. So ya'll can play fetch. Its just for a few hours a day, I promise." Dean said, brushing the tears from Sams face. Sam nodded, leaned down and burrowed his face into Deans neck. Dean sighed and rubbed Sams back, for a few minutes before pulling back. "Join me for a shower, babe?" He asked. Sam nodded and allowed Dean to strip him of his boxers before leading him into the shower by the hand.

Sam peered down at his brother, five days ago they'd gotten Sirius and both spent most of their time bonding with the little pup. Dean praised Sirius whenever he was protective of Sam, which Sam found adorable. Considering most of the time it was Dean that got bit. Apparently Sirius didn't like Dean blocking Sam from his view. Leaning down he crashed his lips against Deans and pushed him back until he was against the wall. "Dea?" He pleaded, knowing his arse wasn't fully healed but he couldn't stand it anymore. Not with Dean working now, he had to know. Had to be sure Dean wanted him. "Yea?" Dean replied. "Make love to me?" The tone was so pleading at Dean groaned and battled with himself inside his head. Glancing towards the clock on the Wall he noticed he still had an hour and half to get to work. "Your trying to kill me aren't you Sammy?" At Sams crest fallen look he leaned up and pressed his lips to Sams. "That was a yes, in case you were wondering." He whispered.

****Sex Scene****

Dean trailed kisses over Sams chest, and down his stomach before sinking to his knees and taking all of Sam into his mouth, deep throating him in one go which caused Sam to gasp out and his knees buckle. Dean wrapped his arms around Sams legs, holding him up as he began to bob his head, hallowing out his cheeks and swirling his tongue around the head. Each time he took him in all the way, swallowing around him. He allowed the water from the shower to soak his fingers before he slipped one hand up, playing with Sams balls along the way before slipping one finger into his brothers puckered entrance slowly. Sam moaned and thrust his hips back, causing Deans finger to slip in faster. Dean closed his eyes at the feeling of his brother wrapped around that finger. Humming around Sams cock he bobbed his head faster as he worked the finger around, brushing Sams prostate. Sam moaned, leaned forward and braced himself against the wall. "God Dea." Dean smirked around his brother and deep throated him again, swallowing around him and humming. "DEA!" Sam cried out, thrusting his hips forward. Dean chuckled and slipped another finger into Sams entrance slowly.

After a few moments he began to scissor them apart, continuing to distract Sam from what he was doing by his pleasant torture on Sams dick. Pulling back slightly he lightly nipped Sams prick, smirking as Sam moaned loudly. "Dea..." He looked down at his brother and groaned, his balls tightening and dick pulsing just as Dean slipped in a third finger. "Dea ima." But thats all he said before he groaned, tensed and came into Deans mouth. Dean swallowed all his brother had to offer before licking him clean. "Mmm Never get tired of that." Dean said, grinning up at his brother. Sam smiled down at him, and Dean gently extracted his fingers. Maneuvering around Sam he sank to his knees behind him and parted his arse cheeks. "Dea?" Sam asked, peering over his shoulder. "Oh you didn't think I was done with you did ya?" Dean asked, smirking evilly. "God I hope not." Sam whispered, and gasped as he felt his brothers tongue circling his entrance before slowly prodding into him. "Dea! God that feels...oh god." Sam groaned, bucking his hips backward. Dean smirked and thrust his tongue in and out of Sam, using spit and water to make sure he was thoroughly lubed. God he didn't want to hurt Sam at all. His own dick throbbed with anticipation as he knelled there, ignoring it and laving attention on Sam. "Dea please...just take me. PLEASE!" He moaned as Dean thrust his tongue in and out faster and faster. Pulling back he grinned "Your wish, my command." He whispered before standing and slowly sliding into Sam, after making sure both were soaked. "Deaaaa" Sam moaned, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the feeling of Dean coming home for the first time since the rape. He had missed this feeling, that the two of them were connected, meant to be together.

Dean groaned at the feeling of his brother wrapped around him. "God Sammy...so tight." He moaned out, gently pushing in until he was fully seated. Once he was he waited for Sam to tell him to move, or give him a sign. Which came by Sam thrusting his hips up and back shallowly. Dean groaned and clutched at sams hips as he drew out and thrust back in, shallow thrusts at first but soon he was thrusting in roughly. Sam moaned at each pass, as Deans dick brushed his prostate. Dean continued thrusting into Sam, enjoying Sams moans and groans, and pleas. "Dea Im gonna..." And Sam clamped down on him, tensed and exploded. Causing Deans own orgasm to come crashing down on him, he thrust through the orgasms and collapsed against Sams back. Taking a few breaths he gently pulled out of Sam and turned him around, pressing his lips to Sams. He pulled back, keeping it chaste but it didn't lack the passion at all. Dean knew if he deepened the kiss he wouldn't be getting to work.

**** End sex scene*****

After washing off Dean and Sam climbed out of the shower and got dressed. Sam of course only pulled on his pajama pants and sat on the edge of the bed while Dean got in the uniform he'd been given. Turning around he looked at Sam "Tell me the truth, I look like a dork don't I?" Dean asked. Sam stared at him "I think you look hot. Of course, you always do." Sam replied, pushing up from the bed and kissing Dean, who broke off the kiss all to soon. "Sammy, I gotta get to work." "I know." "I'll be back, I give ya my word alright?" Sam nodded and Dean smiled up at him. Pulling Sam down he pressed a chaste kiss to his brothers lips before heading towards the door. "Cas should be here in a little bit. Alright?" "Alright Dea." Sam replied as Dean walked out the door and shut and locked it, before driving off to work.

Sam curled up in the bed again, laying on his side idly petting Sirius who was stretched out beside him. He could do this, he could hold it together until Dean got home right? Dean had proven he loved him right? If he didn't he wouldn't have touched him. Sighing he allowed his head to flop onto his pillow and he closed his eyes. "I'm so confused, Siri." Sam whispered. Sirius looked up at him and whimpered. "I love Dea, I do. But I keep feeling like i'm holding him back. He deserves better then a mentally fucked up lover who flinches away from him more then half the time he tries to touch them. I should have fought that guy off, I could have...easily. So why didn't I?" He asked, feeling the puppy climb over him and lean up, licking his cheek. Sam chuckled slightly and pushed Sirius off. "Siri, stop." He said, looking at the puppy who was staring at him. "Your right. Dea loves me. He wouldn't be doing any of this if he didn't... I'm just being stupid aren't I?" He asked, to which Sirius barked. "Gee, thanks." Sam said, rolling his eyes but smiling anyways. "Lets get some more sleep, and when Uncle Cas gets here we'll get some breakfast, yea?" Sam asked, to which Sirius wagged his tail before curling up against Sam.

Two hours later Castiel appeared with breakfast. Setting it on the table he walked over to the bed. "Sam?" Cas called, making sure not to touch the young hunter. "Samuel." He tried again. Sam groaned and rolled over, his eyes slowly opened and he blinked, shrinking back from the man at the edge of the bed."Easy Sam. Its just me, Just Cas." Castiel said, inching back from the bed. "Cas?" Sam whispered, reaching up and rubbing his eyes. Sam pulled back the covers and slung his legs over the edge of the bed. "Whats up?" Sam grumbled, continuing to rub his eyes. "I brought you breakfast like Dean asked." Cas replied. Sam nodded "Thanks..." Pushing up from the bed he stumbled over to his bag and started pulling out clean clothes before heading to the bathroom to change, since he'd already had his shower that morning with Dean. Castiel moved out towards the 'living room' and leaned against the wall, watching out the window. Sirius was still on the bed, head cocking from side to side. He knew to wait for Sam before asking to go out, because when he'd asked Castiel to take him out the angel just ignored him.

Sam emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later and walked to the door, picking up Sirius' leash from the table there. "Sirius, come on boy." Sirius barked and leapt off the bed, charging towards the door his tail wagging a mile a minute. Once he reached Sam he barked, jumping up at him. "No Siri, sit." Sirius whimpered, but parked his butt on the ground, wiggling and shaking as he forced himself to remain there. Sam bent over and clipped the leash to his collar. "Coming Cas?" Castiel nodded, he knew Dean didn't want Sam going anywhere alone. Sam opened the door and Sirius bolted out it, but slowed down when Sam got out the door. "Hes doing well, considering you've only had him for five days." Cas said, watching as Sirius sniffed along the bushes. "Yea. Course, hes a smart dog." Sam replied, smiling down at the little pup. Cas just nodded in agreement and they resumed their peaceful walk. "Cas, can I ask you something, and you answer honestly?" Sam asked as they paused for Sirius to take a shit. "Yea." Cas replied. "Do...er Do you think that maybe, Dean should just leave me behind? Con-" "No, Sam Dean loves you. Hes doing this not because he has to, but because he wants to. He would die for you, Hell he has died for you. He just wants to be there for you, hunting can wait until you're one hundred percent again." "But what...if-" "You will get there Sam, it'll just take time. You and your brother have always blown my expectations of you out of the water. I have faith that you'll do it again." Cas said, hesitantly placing a hand on Sams shoulder. Sam flinched slightly at the contact, but forced himself to remain calm. "Thanks...Cas." "I will always be honest with you Sam." Sam offered him a fleeting smile before he continued to walk with Sirius.

They returned to the Motel room twenty minutes later, and Sam unhooked the leash from Sirius' collar. Walking over he filled the dogs food dish and water bowl, before sitting at the table and began to eat his breakfast. Castiel followed him into the room and shut the door, sitting down on the edge of the bed to watch TV, even though he was really just staring off into space. After breakfast Sam tossed out his trash and settled back on the bed, watching the TV as well. He knew he had like six more hours before Dean came home, and was already struggling to keep his cool. Castiel seemed to since this, and scooted as far from Sam as possible, considering they were both sitting on the bed. "Cas." Sam whispered. "Hm?" "Did Dean tell you he found out what was blowing up buildings?" "Yea, some human named Vernon. We'll deal with It when the time comes Sam." Sam nodded and let it drop, sighing as he shifted on the bed. "Dea said hes coming right back here after work, right?" Sam asked, meekly. "Yes." Sam fell silent again, shifting and folding his arms behind his head. Castiel sighed and glanced back at the fidgeting Sam. "Do you wanna go for a walk or something Sam?" He asked, though he wasn't annoyed he doubted being cooped up while on the verge of a freak out would do Sam any good.

Sam shook his head and closed his eyes, thinking back to when HE had left Dean, one of the many times. Wondering on if he'd hurt his brother, if Dean had loved him like he loves him now, back then. Thinking back to a conversation they had while he was gone, leaving Dean to deal with some psycho scarecrow thing.

***Flashback***

"The scarecrow climbed off its cross?" Sam asked, tone disbelieving though he longed to believe his brother. "Yea I know, I'm telling ya Burkettsville Indiana, fun town." Dean replied, his tone sarcastic. "It didn't kill the couple did it?" Sam asked. "No. You know I can cope without you. You know?" Dean replied, his tone only slightly sarcastic. Sam decided to ignore that for now. "So...something must be animating it. A spirit maybe?" "No, it's more than a spirit. It's a god. A pagan god, anyway." Dean replied, with a 'know it all' tone. "What makes you say that?" Sams tone was incredulous. Like Dean actually knew something without him looking it up, shocking. "The annual cycle of its killings, and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman, like some kind of fertility rite. And you should see the locals. The way they treated this couple. Fattening 'em up like a Christmas turkey. " Dean replied, smirking on the inside. Take that college boy. "The last meal. Given to sacrificial victims." Sam said, feeling sick. "Yeah, I'm thinkin' a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god" Dean said, he felt the same way Sam did. Disgusting what people did. "So a god possesses a scarecrow..." Sam started "...The scarecrow takes its sacrifice, and for another year the crops won't wilt and disease won't spread." Dean continued, nodding slightly. "You know which god you're dealin' with? " Sam asked, getting concerned for his brother. Gods could be dangerous, more so then demons. "No, not yet." Dean replied, sounding disappointed. "Well, you figure out what it is, you can figure out a way to kill it." Sam said, trying to give Dean some hope. "I'm actually on my way to a local community college. I've got an appointment with a professor. You know, since I don't have my trusty sidekick geek boy to do all the research." Dean replied. Sam smirked at this. "You know, if you're hinting you need my help, just ask." He said, amusement tinting his tone. ""I'm not hinting anything. Actually, uh—I want you to know...I mean, don't think..." Dean stuttered out. "Yea." Sam said, looking down. "Im sorry too." Sam said. "Sam, you were right. You gotta do your own thing, live your own life." Dean said. "You serious?" Sam asked, again with the incredulous tone. "You've always known what you want. And you go after it. You stand up to dad. And you always have. Hell I wish I...Anyway. I admire that about you. I'm proud of you Sammy." Sam was shocked, It sounded like Dean was saying goodbye. "I dont even know what to say." Sam said. "Say you'll take care of yourself." "I will." It really sounded like a goodbye now. Sam might have left, but he'd planned on rejoining Dean when he found their dad. "Call me when you find dad." "Ok...bye Dean." Sam said, in almost a whisper. The phone disconnected then, obviously it hurt Dean to much to actually say those words...

******End Flashback*******

Sam realized then, that Dean hadn't been trying to say sorry. He had been trying to say that he loved him, but it just wouldn't come out. How couldn't he see it? Dean was always watching out for him, protecting him, showing love in a totally Dean way. God he'd been so blind. Sam groaned as he shifted on the bed, causing Castiel to turn towards him and blink at him. His face was priceless it was a 'what the fuck?' face. "You alright there, Samuel?" Castiel asked, turning more to face the young man. "Huh?" Was Sams brilliant response. Turning his head he noticed Castiels face and smirked "Uh yea, just realized something is all." Castiel raised an eyebrow but seemed to decide he didn't wanna know when he shook his head and turned away. _Humans. Odd beings they are._ He thought as he returned to staring off into space, leaving Sam to his own means.

Several hours later Sam thought he was literally going insane. It was 3:15 in the afternoon, just fifteen more minutes before Dean should be home. Sam was pacing the floor, walking from the bed to the door and back. Castiel was leaning against the wall in the corner, his eyes idly following Sams path back and forth. "Sam, Sit down." He finally said after about the fifteenth trip across the room. Sam froze, jerked his head up to peer at Castiel. He looked so lost and confused, flinching back from the voice before shaking his head and resuming his pacing. Sirius was perched on the bed, watching as his master continued to pace. Sam was getting closer and closer to hysterics, his breathing was increasing and coming in gasps. Castiel stepped forward "Sam." He said, getting Sam to look at him. "Sit down." Sam shook his head and went to pace past Castiel again, but was stopped when the angel grabbed him and forced him to sit on the bed. Sam flinched and jerked away from the contact. "NO! Don't TOUCH me!" Sam screamed, trying to pry Castiels hands off of him. "SAM!" Castiel tried. "Its me, Its Cas. Stop." "No! LET GO. DEA!" Sirius growled at the angel, baring his teeth as his hackles raised and he stood, lunging at the angel and causing Castiel to stumble back. Sirius snarled, standing over his owner who was whimpering now. "DEA! Dea!" He cried out. Castiel stood there, glancing around the room and then at the snarling dog. Reaching over he grabbed Sirius by the scruff and pulled him off the bed, pinning Sams arms down. "SAM STOP ITS JUST ME!" Sam had already clawed his face and arms as he was flailing without Castiel even touching him and he was now clawing at his arm, hence why Castiel was trying to pin him down.

Sirius wasn't having it though, as soon as he touched the ground he charged over and sank his teeth into Castiels leg, causing Castiel to yelp and began yanking and thrashing with the leg in his mouth. "DEA! HELP!" Sam sobbed out. The rooms door busted open and Dean entered looking livid. Striding over to the bed where he spotted Castiel pinning down a hysterical Sam. "Sirius, release." Sirius let go and jumped onto the bed. Dean grabbed Castiel by the shoulder and jerked him off of Sam, throwing him into the wall. "YOU! Do NOT touch Sam." Dean growled out, his fists clenching in rage. "Dea?" That one word caused Dean to snap out of it and spin around, kneeling on the bed straddling his brothers hips. "Sammy! Sam. I'm here. Deas gotcha." Dean said, covering Sam with his body, knowing that Sam calmed down faster if he could smell him and feel him. Sams arms went up and wrapped around Deans back, clutching to his brothers shirt and pulling him down against him. "Dea...I...I told him... I didn't wanna sit...He...He made me..and...i...i." He sobbed out. "Shh its alright Sammy, I'm here. Castiel won't touch you again I promise babe." Dean whispered, brushing the hair out of Sams face. Sam buried his face into Deans neck and sobbed, gasping to catch his breath as he shook. "I did good...i did good. No episodes...none till now Dea...I was doin so good." He whispered, digging his nails into Deans back. "Shhh I know babe, you're doing great. Its ok." Dean said, rolling them so Sam was laying on top of him.

Dean began to rub circles in his brothers back, hushing him whenever he sobbed. Sirius sat on the bed beside them, snarling at Castiel who was still standing where Dean had shoved him. His eyes scanned over the group before looking to the ground. A few minutes later Sams breath evened out, signaling that he'd fallen asleep. Dean gently extracted himself from Sams grip and covered him with the comforter. "Watch him." Dean said to Sirius, pointing to Sam. Sirius wagged his tail and moved up the bed, laying across Sams legs with his head rested on his paws. Dean reached down and rubbed the pups head "You did good, Siri." He whispered before turning to glare at the angel. "Outside." Castiel glanced up before walking out of the room, followed by Dean. "Dean I-" "If you EVER Pin my brother down or make him do something against his will I will kick your ass so fast you wont even have time to think about disappearing. Do I make myself clear!" Dean growled, his teeth clenched. Castiel sighed and nodded "Yes Dean." "When I asked you to help I meant to call me if and only IF he had an episode. NOT PROVOKE ONE!" "I'm Sorry." "I'm not the one to be apologizing to here, Castiel." Castiel glanced up at that, Dean hadn't called him his full name for years. "I'll...apologize to Sam - " "When the time Is right and not a moment sooner Castiel. If you did ANYTHING to set him back, a Molotov of holy fire will be the least of your worries. Got it?" "Yes..." "Good." With that Dean strolled back into the room and shut the door. Castiel sighed before disappearing, he'd come back later.  


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_A/N: I couldn't resist throwing in the 'Molotov of holy fire' reference. R&R? Next chapter coming ASAP._


	16. I'll Be There

I'll Be There  
_A/N: So this basically continues the last chapter. Enjoy the read._  
_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Lucky Kripke D_

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Dean walked back into the motel room after telling off Castiel for touching Sam. He found Sam curled up in a fetal position in the bed and moved towards him, climbing into the bed behind him. When Sam flinches away from him and whimpers Dean just tightens his arm around his waist. "Shhh Sammy, Its just me." He whispers, brushing Sams hair from his face. "Dea?" Sam whispers, rolling onto his back and then curling into Deans side. "Yea." Dean says, smiling down at his brother. "M'Sorry." Sam whispers, staring into Deans eyes. "Nothing to be sorry for Baby boy." Dean replies as he continues to stroke Sams face, brushing invisible hair from his face. "I scared you...Just...just like..." Sam didn't need to finish. _Just like that night. _"It wasn't your fault. Cas should know better, no?" Dean said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Sams forehead. "But you will have to talk about what happened that night Sammy." "NO! Don't make me. Please Dea?" Tears start to prick at Sams eyes. "Shhh Sammy, you have to. It'll help you get better. Well thats what i've been told at least." Sam seemed to think about it for several minutes. "Can I talk about it to you?" He whispers, so quietly Dean barely hears it. "You can tell me anything Sammy. Always." Dean replies, just as quiet. Sam nodded and buried his face into Deans neck, taking a deep breath. Dean could tell he was trying to get the nerve to talk about what happened. "There's no rush Babe." He murmured. Sam nodded against Deans shoulder and scooted against him more.

Dean didn't mind it at all, and just held Sam tighter against his chest breathing in Sams scent as well. Sam smelled of pine, oddly... mint, and citrus and something just Sam. It was a smell that could cause him to confess anything. Sam took a few calming breaths before pulling away from Dean slightly, he knew that all of what Dean was doing was against Deans nature, and that he was only doing it because he was Sam. Deans Sam, if he was a different Sam or just his brother and not his lover as well, he wouldn't be curled up to Dean at the moment. "Thank you." He whispered. Dean blinked at him "For?" He asked, arching a brow though confusion still covered his face. "I know you hate being 'girly' and that sitting here holding me...is against all your instincts." Sam said. "For others, yes. But for you? Never. Your my baby boy." Dean replied, as if that explained everything. In Deans mind it did, his instincts to comfort and protect Sam far out weighed the instinct to avoid anything of an emotional sort. Sam nodded and looked down at the comforter, tugging at loose strings. "Sammy?" Dean whispered after ten minutes. "I was waiting for you, you know?" Sam whispered. Dean was confused for a minute before he figured it out, Sam was talking about the night he was raped. Dean just placed his hand on Sams and waited. Sam quit picking at the comforter and turned his hand to grip Deans. "I figured you'd go to the local bar after asking around, you always do. I wanted to surprise you, be sitting there waiting for you." Here he looked into Deans eyes and offered him a smile, he continued to focus on those Hazel eyes. Knowing they'd keep him grounded. "Then HE came. He sat down next to me, asked me what a hot stud like...like me was doing 'in these parts'. I told him I was waiting for my lover, hoping that'd get him to back off...But it didn't..." Sam swallowed thickly. "He put his hand on my arm and started caressing it, I shook his hand off my arm and hoped that'd make him get the hint. It didn't. He just...leaned in and said 'I can be your lover'" Tears were welling up in Sams eyes. "I should have left then, I know that now. But I kept hoping you'd walk up and tell him to get lost. Stupid I know." "Its never stupid to hope I'll show baby." Dean whispered, squeezing Sams hand and keeping his eyes locked with Sams.

Sam offered him a brief smile. "I...I told him 'No thanks' and he grabbed my arm, digging his nails in as he said..." Sam sobbed. "He said 'Shame, could really use a hot piece of ass like yours.'" The tears were flowing freely now, and Sam was shaking. Dean squeezed his hand gently "You can stop if you want Sammy." Sam shook his head and tried to wipe the tears away. Dean reached up with his free hand and brushed the tears that were streaming down Sams face away. "I told him I was taken, and he said that he didn't see lover by around here. I tried to get my arm free, but he just twisted my arm and pulled it behind my back...I.." Sam blinked and looked down at the comforter then. Dean sighed and leaned forward, pulling Sam into his lap. "Its ok babe." Dean said, rubbing circles into his back. Sam buried his face in Deans neck breathing in. "He...He said 'Lets take a walk' and...forced me to walk down to that hallway...You...know what happened then." He whispered, shaking so bad. Dean nodded and wrapped his arms around Sam tighter, rocking from side to side. "Shhh its ok." Sam sobbed freely into Deans neck, wrapping his arms around Dean and squeezing. "Why didn't I fight him off? I could have, easily." Sam whimpered. "I don't know Sammy... You were scared, we freeze when we're scared. Its...a survival instinct I guess." Dean whispered, and continued to rock his brother. "I'd understand if you wanted...to leave." Sam whispered. Dean tensed. "I. Will. Never. Leave. You." Dean said through clenched teeth, turning Sam to look at him and forcing him to. "I don't care how many times I have to go against my no chick flick moment rule to get this through your head. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU. YOU. Sammy. No one else. And I'm not going anywhere without you at my side. Got it?" Dean said, keeping Sams eyes locked with his. "Yea. I love you too, Dea..." Sam whispered, clearly deciding not to say what he was thinking.

The two sat in silence, just staring into the others eyes before Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips against Sams. Sam moved his arms up, wrapping around Deans neck and pulling him closer, opening his mouth when Deans tongue ran across his bottom lip. Sam closed his eyes as he moaned at the taste and feel of Dean, enjoying the way Deans tongue caressed his. Deans arms wrapped around Sams waist, pulling him tighter against him. Sam shifted around so he was straddling his brothers lap. Pushing back slightly he smirked when Dean fell back against the bed, bringing him with him. They never broke the kiss either, and Deans hands roamed over his sides and back before tangling in his hair. Sam reluctantly pulled back, just enough that they could breathe because well passing out from the lack of oxygen would do them no good now would it? Dean wanted his brother, he wanted to fuck him senseless right then and there, but a nagging voice in the back of his head told him to wait. The memory of the rape was to fresh for Sam, having just talked about it. So instead he wrapped his arms around Sams waist and pulled him tightly against him. Sam buried his face into Deans neck and breathed in deeply, enjoying the feel of his brothers body against his, the heat and smell of Dean allowed him to relax. It always had, even when they were kids and he'd have nightmares, Dean would crawl into his bed and he'd drift into a peaceful sleep breathing in the smell that was just...Dean. Letting out a contented sigh he nestled closer, if that was possible and snaked his arms under Dean, clutching onto him as well. "Dea? Can I ask you something?" Sam mumbled into his brothers neck. "Anything." Dean replied, burying his own face into Sams neck and breathing in. "When...I start to get better...can we do hunts around here?" Sam asked, tensing for his brothers reaction. Dean felt Sam tense and chuckled rubbing along Sams back. "Relax Sam." He murmured, pressing a kiss to Sams neck. "And yes, when you start getting better we can." Sam let out a breath, tickling Deans neck when he did so. "Good." Sam replied, and closed his eyes. It wasn't long before Dean heard his brothers breathing even out and knew Sam had fallen asleep on top of him. Not that Dean was complaining any at all.

It had been three days since Dean had told Castiel off, and neither brother had seen the angel. Sam was starting to shut down, apparently six hours a day alone was not helping any. He'd begun to retreat from Dean when he tried to touch him at all. Dean was currently getting ready for work, and glanced over to see Sam curled up in a ball on the bed, stroking Sirius' head and watching Deans every move. Dean sighed and walked outside. "Castiel!" He whisper shouted, knowing well praying the Angel would hear him. He thought that the Angel would have come and talked to Sam by now. Sam said he hadn't. Dean stood there for a few seconds, before the telltale sound of wings had him jerking around. "What Dean?" Castiel sounded annoyed. Dean reached out, grabbed Castiels arm "This is what." He said, opening the door and pushing Castiel slightly so he could see Sam curled in on himself. Castiel frowned at this, he didn't expect Sam to be regressing so fast. "I don't see what you want me to do about it?" Castiel said, having moved away from the door and the elder Winchester. "Fix it! Go in there and talk to him. Obviously being locked in this room six hours a day is doing him no good. Castiel please, I'm begging here." Dean said. Castiel sighed and glanced towards the room, he wanted to help he honestly did... But Dean had made it clear he wasn't welcomed near Sam. "You made it Clear that I wasn't welcome near Sam." Castiel said, glancing back at Dean. "Yea well, I'm sorry alright? I...might have over reacted." "Very well." Really Castiel didn't care if Dean apologized or not. He would have gone in there and talked to Sam regardless, because he cared for the two men. If he didn't he wouldn't have done anything, not even told Dean; when Sam was being raped. He just didn't understand why they didn't get it yet. Glancing at Dean he walked into the room, followed by the elder winchester and waited by the wall.

Dean walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, frowning as Sam flinched away. It was barely there, but he noticed it, and so did Castiel. Sam glanced up and looked at Dean, seeing the angel over his shoulder. "Dea? Whys Cas here?" Sam whispered, his eyes flitting between the two. Dean sighed and grasped Sams hand. "I've gotta go to work Sammy. Castiel wants to talk to you thats all. Will you let him talk to you?" Sam was silent for a few seconds before swallowing. "Yea..." He said, quietly. Dean nodded and squeezed Sams hand, before pushing off the bed. As he tried to release Sams hand however, the grip tightened and he tugged. Sam knew he was pulling away from Dean, and it scared him. When he tugged on his brothers arm he watched as Dean knelt back down. Sam glanced at Castiel before placing a kiss on Deans cheek. "Love you.." He whispered. However by the smile that spread across Deans face you'd swear someone just told him he'd won a million dollars. "Love ya too, Sammy." Dean said, placing a kiss on Sams forehead before standing and walking towards the door. "Upset him. Molotov of Holy fire, least of your worries." Dean hissed before walking out the door. Castiel rolled his eyes, which caused Sam to smirk. It was such a human thing to do, and odd to see an Angel do it.

Castiel moved a little closer, leaning against the wall across from the foot of the bed. "Samuel... I came here because, even though I haven't been...well visible, doesn't mean I haven't seen. I apologize for forcing you to do something you didn't want to. It seems to have had worse consequences then I figured. I care for you and Dean, you have...grown on me over the years we have known each other. It seems when one of you hurts, it pains me." _Rather annoying feelings really. _"It would... If you can find it in your... Will you forgive me?" Castiel struggled, thinking and restarting what he was going to finish with a few times. Sam had remained silent as he spoke, though the smirk remained in place and soon grew to a smile. "I was never mad at you, Cas...Hurt that you left and didn't come back yes, but not mad... Thought you were sick of dealing with me and my problems." Sam shrugged. Castiel shook his head "You are not a burden, Sam. I thought time would be good, thought you'd be mad. Of course, it seems it was Dean who was mad. He can be a very scary human when he wants to be." Castiel said, smirking slightly. Sam chuckled and nodded "Yea. What'd he threaten you with?" Sam asked, visibly relaxing now that he knew his other 'crutch' hadn't abandoned him. Castiel chuckled as well. "Said if I hurt you, A Molotov of Holy fire would be the least of my worries." Sam bit his lip to keep from laughing, and forced himself to look ashamed for that. "Uh...S...Sorry bout that." He chuckled out. "Laugh it up Sam. Laugh it up." Cas mumbled, slowly moving towards the bed and sitting on the edge at Sams nod. "So...We good?" Castiel asked. "Yea... we're good." Sam said.

They sat in silence for what seemed to be forever, before Sam glanced up. "I uh...Did talk about uh the...what happened." Sam whispered. "I know, Sam. Do you honestly believe I'd leave either of you unguarded? I am proud of you, by the way. It took courage to talk about it so soon." Castiel replied. "Honestly, I kind of hoped you hadn't. Me and Dean joke and call you our 'Guardian Angel.' Its lame... I know, but you do watch over us. And uh...Thanks..." Sam replied, offering Cas a strained smile. Castiel nodded, glad that at least one winchester wasn't mad at him. "Guardian Angel hm? Could of sworn I told Dean I don't perch on shoulders." Cas replied, winking at Sam. He knew that Dean had told him about Castiel Zapping him to where Sam was, the night of the rape. "Yea, right. Thanks for that to, mr none guardian angel." Sam replied, tone sarcastic on the 'none guardian angel' part. "I know not of what you speak." Castiel said, trying to keep from smirking. "Uh huh. Seriously though Cas. Thanks." Sam said. "No need to thank me Sam. I feel...protective of you and Dean." While he wasn't allowed to harm humans, being an angel and all. Didn't mean he couldn't sick the scariest human he knew on the bastard, did it? Nah.

Sam and Castiel seemed to get back into their routine, taking Sirius out and then Sam eating breakfast, then they'd both settle down to watch TV. Fifteen minutes before Dean would get home, Sam would start his pacing, but now Castiel didn't tell him to sit down. He just let the young hunter pace back and forth across the room. Dean was shocked when he came in the door and had a arm full of Sammy. Blinking he wrapped his arms around Sams waist as Sam clung to him. "Whats wrong Sammy?" He asked. "Nothing...just...missed you." Sam replied, pulling back slightly. His hands roamed over Deans back, across his sides and down his chest then back up over his shoulders. Seeming to make sure Dean was there, and fine. Dean glanced past Sam as Sam did his check of his body, well back and chest. Locking eyes with Castiel he nodded slightly, and smiled. Castiel returned the nod, it was a simple communication. Both would do whatever they could to help Sam get better, even if their own friendship was strained with unsaid apologies. Dean didn't know it then, but Sam did. Castiel stuck around because he loved both of them, he'd figured it out when talking to Cas earlier in the day. Your only protective of those you love, which some might have found awkward. But Sam? He knew he loved Castiel as well, not like he loved Dean. God no. But he loved Castiel as a brother, a friend. He'd been with them through so much, rebelled against heaven for them. Sam knew that there was nothing Castiel wouldn't do for them. So after he was sure Dean was fine, he turned towards the Angel and wrapped his arm around Deans waist, dragging Dean towards Castiel. "Apologize, now." Sam said, staring at Dean. Dean blinked and glanced towards Castiel "Um.." "Its fine, Sam. He was just protecting you." Castiel cut him off. Sam glared at both of them before huffing and this caused both Dean and Castiel to smirk. They knew Sam wouldn't let it go until Dean apologized. "I'm Sorry Cas." Dean said. Castiels eyes snapped to Dean when he heard the word 'Cas' and knew Dean had forgiven him. Nodding in Deans direction "I'm sorry too." Castiel replied, before both looked at Sam. Dean raised an eyebrow that totally said 'Happy?' Sam smirked and nodded before leaning in and pressing his lips to Deans.

Sam knew that Dean and even Castiel would always be there for him, supporting and protecting him. Even in times that he couldn't see them. It made him feel better, saner. He felt like he could survive this, and if he could survive this? Why not anything? Short of Deans death, he didn't think there was anything else that was as debilitating as being raped.

"So, about this bomber dude." Sam said, causing both Dean and Castiel to look at him. "How we gonna handle it?"  


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_A/N: Oooo So betcha didn't see that coming did ya? Nope. Anyways R&R. I'll be working on chapter 16. Tryin to get to chapter 20 before october 6th, cause I'll be goin up to missouri for four months to take care of my grandpa. His health is failing._


	17. You Can Let Go Now

You Can Let Go Now

_A/N: I decided that since I won't be uploading for three months, to give ya'll a 'treat'. Enjoy._  
_Warnings: Sex scene_

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Castiel and Dean continued to stare at him, for several minutes. "What?" Sam finally asked, glancing between the two of them. Dean was the first to come out of the shocker "Er. You sure you're ready to start hunting, Sammy?" Dean asked. Sam continued to look at his brother for several moments. "Yes Dean." Dean nodded and stepped closer to his brother. "Alright." Castiel nodded and moved towards the bed. Dean and Sam sat down on the bed, with Deans arms wrapped around Sams waist while they all began to talk. "Well obviously, we have to find out where he is. Not to mention why hes doing this." Castiel said. Dean gave him a 'No duh' look. Sam smirked when Castiel simply glared at them for a brief second in retaliation. "Well, where did you see him last time, Dea?" Sam asked, curling into his brothers side slightly. "At an abandoned warehouse on the edge of town." Dean replied, his hand absently running through his brothers hair. "Well then, lets start there." Sam replied, rolling out of his brothers embrace but not before giving him a chaste kiss. Dean groaned, but pushed off the bed and followed after Sam, snagging the keys as they went. "Cas, make yourself er useful and search for any Vernons in this town." Castiel simply nodded and the two brothers walked out of the room.

Twenty minutes later they'd pulled up outside of the abandoned warehouse, and were currently staring at it. "Well, come on Dea." Sam said, breaking the silence. He shoved the passenger door open and exited the car, followed by Dean after a second or two. Shutting the doors quietly, they walked around the hood and began the approach with their shoulders brushing as they walked. Dean had his custom engraved .45 caliber Colt MK IV Series 80 1911 pistol with ivory grips tucked into his pants waistband, the shirt covering it of course. Sam had his stainless steel Taurus PT-92 9mm pistol with mother-of-pearl grips grasped in his right hand, which was held down at his side between him and Dean.

As they drew closer, Dean signaled Sam to go around the back, nodding Sam took off to the back while Dean opened the front door. As soon as the door opened, he spotted Vernon sitting there building another bomb. "Vernon." Dean said, stepping in a few steps. "Ah Dean, what brings you here?" Vernon asked, as he continued to build the bomb on the table. "Well, to be honest I came to see what you were up to." Dean replied, aware that Sam was now standing in front but off to the side, his gun hidden in his waistband as well now. "Ah and that requires lover boy coming through the back?" Vernon asked, standing up from the table and striding towards Sam. "Alright, so I wanted to see if you were still building bombs, clearly...you are." Dean said, shrugging. Sam was staring down at the guy, watching as he moved closer and closer. "And lover boy coming in the back?" Vernon asked, circling Sam. "He was making sure there were no bombs, wouldn't want to blow myself up now would I?" Dean asked, not liking how Vernon was only inches from his brother. "Hm. Checking for bombs needs a gun?" Vernon asked, running a hand up Sams arm. Sam inched away from him and pulled the gun out from his waistband at the same time Dean pulled his. Vernon held up his hands in mock surrender. "Sam, Come here." Dean growled, cocking his gun as Sam kept his pointed at Vernon, inching towards his brother.

When Sam was away from Vernon he glanced towards Sam, giving him a 'Watch him' look. Sam nodded and kept the gun aimed at Vernon while Dean put his back into his waistband and moved towards the table. "Hey!" Vernon cried, moving to step towards Dean. Sam cocked his gun "I wouldn't do that, if I were you." He said, tone deadly calm and quiet. Normally it was Dean that was the protective one, but he'd be damned if anyone or thing hurt his Dea. Dean glanced up at his brothers tone and looked towards Vernon. The bomb wasn't hooked up completely yet, and thus he simply reached down and began to unhook everything that'd been hooked up already. "Now Sam is it? Why are you letting him disable my bomb? I worked so hard on that, it was going to be a master piece." Vernon whispered, stepping towards Sam. "Its wrong." Sam said, keeping an eye on Vernon and lifting his gun higher when the man moved. Dean was busy disabling the bomb, and stuffing all the crap into a bag near the table to take with them. "No one gets hurt. Its just a hobby." Vernon shrugged. "No one gets hurt? Tell that to the families that were inside when you blew them up." Sam replied, lowering the gun only slightly. Vernon stared at him. "What?" He whispered. "Yea, why do you think we're here? See, we deal with things like you...well no you're worse. At least they don't have humanity." Sam replied, glancing towards Dean. "Huh? What are you talking about?" Vernon replied. "Demons, ghosts, werewolves, among other things." Sam said, turning back to Vernon. "Are real. Me and him" Here he motioned to Dean. "Hunt and kill them." Sam continued. Vernon shook his head "No way, ya'll are like...on drugs or nuts or something." Vernon said. Sam shrugged, and Dean turned around with the bag in hand. "Believe what you like, but Sammy told the truth." Dean said, walking over to Sam and pressing his lips against Sams, though it was only a chaste kiss before wrapping his free arm around Sams waist. "Hey! You can't take my stuff." Vernon said, noticing the bag. "I paid good money for those supplies man. Course, if ya let me have Sam here for an hour we'll be good." He said, winking at Sam. Sam rolled his eyes, but stepped into Deans side even more. Dean tightened his grip around Sams waist before gently pushing him "Go wait in the car, Sammy." Dean whispered into his ear. Sam glanced towards Vernon before relenting. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Deans, wrapping an arm around Deans waist while the other hand kept him in place. Sams gun was of course, still pointed at Vernon as he ran his tongue across Deans lips, begging for entrance. Dean of course granted him entrance, and gripped Sams shirt tightly as Sam began to suck on his tongue. Sam moaned into the kiss, when Dean forced his tongue into Sams mouth and began to tongue fuck his mouth. It was obviously a promise of what'd come later, but all to soon for Sams liking they broke apart, both panting. Sam placed a chaste kiss on Deans lips before extracting himself and taking the bag with him as he went out to the Impala.

Once Dean was sure Sam was outside he turned to Vernon, who was staring unblinking at him. "Damn, sure you don't share?" Vernon asked. Dean raised an eyebrow before he strolled towards the man, drew back and punched the guy in the nose. Smirking when he heard the sickening 'crack' of the nose breaking. "I don't know what you're up to. But if you come near Sam, It won't be my fist next time. Do I make myself clear?" Dean hissed out. Vernon was currently clutching his face, blood seeping through his fingers as he cussed and tried to stop the bleeding. "Good, glad we had this chat." Dean said, smirking before he turned and walked out to the Impala.

It didn't take long to return to the room, and after parking they both headed inside. Castiel was leaning against the wall when they entered, with Sirius curled up on the bed. Sam grinned and walked over to the bed, laying down on it next to Sirius, stroking the Rhodesian Ridgebacks head. "Hey Siri." He whispered, leaning back on the pillows. Dean chuckled and shook his head at Sam, and dropped the bag next to the beds. "I take it you found the man?" Castiel asked. "Yup." Dean replied. "Did you find out his full name?" He continued. "Yes, He is Vernon Abraxas Schäferhund" Castiel replied. Dean nodded, before walking around the bed and flopping down on the other side of Sirius.

"Great! Now that we know his name we can keep a better eye on him. What kind of name is Abraxas anyways?" Dean said, the latter asked after a slight pause. Sam smirked from his spot next to him, leave it to Dean to throw that into the conversation. "Greek, I believe." Sam murmured, receiving a nod from Castiel. "Oh." Was Deans reply, before he pulled Sam closer to him, so that his brother was leaning his head on his shoulder but their legs were separated by Sirius who'd scooted down the bed. "I'll go keep an eye on him." Castiel volunteered, before disappearing in a rustle of wings. "Huh, wonder what got into him." Dean mumbled, unaware that his hand was brushing his brothers dick through his pants, over and over. Sam, biting his lip to keep from moaning let out a breathy laugh. "Couldn't have to do with you molesting me in front of him. Not that I'm complaining." Sam replied, his hips arching slightly to increase the pressure. Dean glanced down before he grinned. "Really, I hadn't noticed." Dean replied. "Hmmm" Sam smirked, pulling Dean on top of him and crushing their mouths together, moaning as Deans tongue explored his mouth. Sirius huffed before he slid off the bed, shooting them doggy glares from where he now laid on the floor. Sam and Dean didn't notice however, to wrapped up in each other. Sams hands began to slip under Deans shirt, however before they could get any further, a knock sounded at the door. Sam groaned and shoved at Dean to get him off of him. Dean pouted, but rolled off of Sam anyways and got up to get the door.

Once Dean opened it he groaned, because there on the other side stood none other then Vernon. How the hell he found them, Dean would never know. "Who is it Babe?" Sam called from the bed, where Sirius had rejoined him and had his head and paws draped across Sams stomach. "Its Vernon." Dean replied, opening the door for the man to come in. Vernon of course walked in, but froze when he spotted the massive Rhodesian Ridgeback, who'd turned his head and was now growling at the man. "Er..that dogs not gonna attack me is he?" Vernon asked as Dean walked around and settled himself on the bed, at the edge. Dean reached back and stroked Sirius' back. "Good boy Siri." He then turned to Vernon. "Long as you don't touch Sam, you'll be fine." Vernon glanced between the dog, and the man that it was laying with its head on his lap. Nodding he turned his attention back to Dean, reluctantly and only after letting his eyes roam over Sams body. Dean noticed this and glared. "What did you want, Vernon." He growled out, moving over to block the view of his brother from Vernon as much as he could. "Oh right. Uh...I believe you." Vernon replied, forcing himself to keep his eyes on Dean. "Why?" Sam asked, from his position on the bed. It hadn't been missed that his clothes were rumpled like Vernon had interrupted something. Good. Oh sure, he knew that Sam was Deans, but still the idea of Dean fucking that hot assed man, annoyed Vernon beyond all reason. Before he could answer, the familiar rustle of wings to Sam and Dean sounded in the room and Castiel appeared on the bed beside Dean. Vernon jumped and let out a girly shriek; which of course he'd totally deny if asked about it. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" He screamed, pointing at Castiel. Sam snorted from his position on the bed, a smirk spreading across face. "That would be Castiel." Sam started. "Our pet angel." Dean continued. Castiel turned to Dean at this with a look that clearly read 'not funny' but it didn't keep Dean from giving him his famous 'Im adorable and you know it' look.

Sams lips twitched as his smirk spread into a full out grin. "CAS BABE!" Sam watched as Dean leaned over and wrapped his arms around the Angels shoulders and chest. "You nearly missed the fun, we were gonna start without you but then VERNON interrupted us. Lucky you right?" He continued. Sam couldn't help it, he snickered at the petrified look on Castiels face and rigid posture. Vernons jaw had dropped open as he stared at the three of them situated on the bed, well four if you counted the dog. Dean leaned over to press a chaste kiss to Castiels cheek before Castiel reached up and pried Dean off of him and moved over to the wall, leaning against it and shooting Dean and Sam equal glares that read 'I'll get you for this' Sam had to bite his bottom lip to keep from full out laughing. Dean noticed him biting his bottom lip and groaned. "Sammy..." Sam looked up and smirked, a blush spreading across his face as he released his bottom lip. "We're...waiting." Dean said, clearing his throat and looking towards Vernon again. Vernon blinked owlishly for a few minutes before coughing. "Right uh. Because I came home to find my sister murdered, butchered really. There was this...odd residue left." He held out the baggy towards Dean who took it. "Wait, pet angel! Angels aren't real." Vernon blurted out. "Sulfur." Dean said, glancing towards Castiel and Sam. "Whats that mean?" Vernon asked. "It means, Mr Schäferhund that a demon killed your sister." Castiel replied quietly from his place near the wall. Vernons gaze snapped to him. "And I assure you, we exist." Dean could have swore he saw a ghost of a smile upon Castiels face before it was gone. Huh.

Dean turned to Vernon"Indeed, hes my pet angel Like I said. I call him Cas, or Cassiepoo. Aint that right Cassie poo?" Castiel shot Dean a glare and Sam sat up on the bed, a hand clamping over Deans mouth as he spoke, tone grave. "If a demon killed your sister they might be back. It isn't safe for you at home. You'll stay here with Me. Dean and Castiel will go to your home. I assure you, we'll kill this demon and you'll be fine." Sam said. Deans tongue ran across his palm and he squeaked, jerking his hand away. Dean smirked, before turning to Vernon. "Safe yea, unless they ordered a hit on you. Which I doubt, only the best get hits ordered on em by Demons. Right Sammy?" Sam rolled his eyes, leave it to Dean to brag about having had a hit on them. "Yes. Not something a civilian wants on them." Dean didn't like the idea of leaving his Sammy with this Vernon guy, but he supposed if Sirius was there he would be fine.

Fifteen minutes later Dean and Castiel were getting ready to head out. Sam was standing at the door with him, and Dean had both hands gripping Sams hips while Sam had his arms draped over Deans shoulders. "I don't like the idea of leaving you with him Sam." "I'll be fine. Besides... i'm the most likely to get him to stop. I have Sirius, and the knife under my pillow. You and Castiel can get this demon and get back fast." "True." Dean pulled Sam flush against him and pressed his lips to Sams, his tongue forcing its way into his mouth as Sams arms tightened around his neck and he moaned into the kiss. Deans tongue explored every inch of Sams mouth, before luring Sams tongue into his own mouth and sucking on it. All to soon the need for air was becoming to much and they pulled apart. Dean didn't release Sam though, but placed a chaste kiss on his lips before releasing him and kneeling down to pet Sirius. "Keep an eye on our Sammy okay boy? If that man tries anything, bite him in the balls." Sirius barked and licked Deans face, causing Deans face to scrunch up in disgust and Sam to laugh. Dean figured he could deal with dog kisses if it made Sam laugh. "Good boy." Dean stood up and squeezed Sams hand before pushing Castiel out the door ahead of him.

As soon as the door shut Sam sighed and pressed his hand against the wood, closing his eyes before turning around after locking the door and checking the salt lines. He and Sirius settled themselves back onto the bed, with Sirius stretched across his lap, his back propped up against the head board. "So uh. That Castiel dude, he really an angel or just a freak?" Sam flinched at the word freak. "Hes an angel. As in a Angel of the lord, god. A warrior." Sam replied. "Oh." Vernon replied from where he was sitting at the table. "Why do you build bombs? Honestly." Sam forced himself to ask. If Dean and Castiel were out killing the demon, he could at least do his part and pry information from the man. Vernon noticed that Sam was shaking, and kept stroking the dog like that action alone was the only thing keeping him from flipping out. "Why are you so nervous? Its not like i'm going to rape-" He paused as he watched Sam tensed and closed his eyes, his lips moving but he couldn't hear anything. "Thats it isnt it? Deans forcing you to be in this relationship, raping you." Vernon asked. He tensed as those eyes opened and hate and rage filled eyes locked onto him. "Dean would NEVER Force me to do anything. Do not speak of something you don't understand. He is the only thing keeping me sane right now." Sams voice had broke when he said 'sane'.

"Oh." Was Vernons brilliant reply. "As for your question...I build them as a hobby. I never meant for anyone to get hurt." He continued. "Well, you did. Its why we're here." Sam replied. "But I thought ya'll hunted the supernatural, I'm not a supernatural thing." Vernon replied. "Obviously. Sirius would have freaked out when you walked in if you were." Sam replied, shrugging but he continued to shake as his hand stroked over the growing dogs body. "Whys he so close to you?" Vernon asked, motioning to Sirius. "Hes mine. Dean got him for me cause he knew I wanted a dog." A smile spread across face as soon as he mentioned Dean, and gazed down at the dog lovingly. "Hes my best bud, well...besides Dean and Castiel that is." Sam said. "Ah, Dean loves you huh?" Vernon asked, to which Sam nodded. "He doesn't say it much, but he shows it. In everything that he does, hes just...not a word kind of guy." Sams smile spread across his face even more. "How'd you guys meet?" Vernon asked, his head tilting to the side slightly. "Ya'll look alike." Sam froze, and glanced up from his ministrations. "Uh well we met when we were young." Sam replied, trying for nonchalance. It was obvious he failed when Vernon raised a eyebrow. Sam sighed. "We're brothers." Stunned silence echoed the statement.

Sam was starting to get worried, watching Vernon closely for any sign as to what his reaction might be. However Vernon just sat there, staring at him. "I'm sorry, I thought I heard you say that ya'll are brothers." Vernon sputtered out. "Uh...we are?" Sam replied, meekly. "Thats what I thought." Vernon said, nodding as he stood up. "Thats kind of disturbing man. But uh er, I guess if it makes you happy?" He replied, pacing the room a few times. Sam sat on the bed blinking at him. "He does make you happy, right?" Vernon asked, maybe a bit to hopefully. "He'd die for me." Was Sams reply, eying the man. "Hes my world. Why?" Sam continued. "Oh...Ok." Vernon said, seeming deflated. Sitting down in the chair again he sighed. God he hoped these people would kill the demon soon.

Meanwhile Dean and Castiel were sitting in the dark, inside Vernons house and waiting for the demon to reappear. Castiel was leaning casually against the Island counter that Dean was sitting at. "Sam seems to be making progress, to volunteer being left with Vernon." He commented. Dean nodded "Yea, but I don't trust that Vernon guy. He keeps eying Sam like hes a piece of meat." He replied. Castiel had noticed that of course, though had wondered if Dean had noticed as well. He pushed away from the counter. "If you want to go back, I can handle the Demon Dean. We all know that stress on Sam isn't good. Which he will be stressed, because even though he volunteered I don't think he's ready for close contact with other people when hes alone." However before Dean could answer they heard someone trying to open the door. "No, lets just kill this thing if its the demon. Then we'll get to Sammy." Dean whispered as they both moved to their hiding spots.

The demon walked through the living room, and into the kitchen where they were hiding. Dean leaped when the possessed body passed through the door and wrapped his arm around the mans throat, wrestling him so that he was standing under the circle that they'd drawn on the roof while Castiel began to chant in Latin. Dean grunted when an elbow was shoved into his side, against his ribs and he nearly released his grip on the guy. Instead when the demon tried to twist away he grabbed the mans arm and jerked it up, twisting it behind his back and kicking a leg out. Causing the demon to fall face first onto the floor where he quickly wrapped the rope they'd brought with them tightly around the mans wrists and moved to his legs. "SON OF A BITCH!" He cried when he lost grip on one of the legs and it was shoved into his face, blood gushing from his nose. "Motherfucker." Dean growled as he lunged, grabbing the fleeing body before it got out of the circle and pulled making it do yet another face plant. Quickly wrapping the legs with the rope he secured it before dragging the man into the center of the circle. The demon was now screaming and flailing around, well rolling anyways as Castiel continued to chant. It only took a few more minutes before the demon was expelled from the mans body, vanishing out of the room and the body collapsed. Dean reached down to check for a pulse and sighed, nodding. There was one. "I'll take him to the hospital. Go on Dean." Dean offered his Angel a grateful smile before standing and striding towards the door. Perhaps a little faster then was needed.

Sam and Vernon were sitting in silence, watching the time tick by. Well, Sam was because really this was just to awkward for him. What had he been thinking when he volunteered to watch Vernon? Every time the aforementioned man moved, Sam flinched and whimpered under his breath. He suspected that Vernon heard him once or twice, because the man glanced at him. Sam was growing more and more twitchy, glancing towards Vernon every few seconds when a familiar, and if he was being honest with himself; welcomed sound was heard. Jerking up he swung his legs off the bed and shoved off it, pulling the door open just as the Impala pulled up in front of their rooms. Glancing behind him he strolled out of the room and over to the drivers side, pulling the door open just as Dean shut off the car and leaned down, pulling his brother out of the car and pressing him against the side of it. Sam buried his face into Deans neck, inhaling deeply as his arms wrapped tightly around Deans middle. Dean sighed and let his brother manhandle him out of the car, when Sam practically collapsed against him, he began to rub circles in his brothers back. "Shh Sammy whats wrong?" A whimper beside him had him glancing down to see Sirius sitting at his brothers side. One of his hands extended downwards and the dog licked it, tail wagging a thousand miles a minute. "I may have...upset him some. Sorry." Vernon said from the doorway. Dean glared over his brother at the man, before turning them around and pushing Sam into the impala. "Wait here, alright Sammy?" Sam nodded. Dean pressed a kiss to Sams forehead before stalking over to Vernon. "The demons dead. Now, what the hell did you say to upset my Sammy?" Dean hissed. "I may have accused you of raping him?" Vernon asked. Dean glared and his fists clenched. Oh how he wanted to beat that man bloody. "Dea?" Was the quiet sound that caused him to look behind him. Sam shook his head and he sighed. "Go home Vernon." Vernon nodded and slid past him before walking to his car and driving off.

Dean sighed and walked back to the Impala. "Scoot over, we're going for a drive." Dean said. Sam scooted over to the passenger side, and Sirius climbed in up front, sitting right next to Sam. Dean shook his head, he'd made sure to shut and lock their motel room, before climbing into the Impala and pulling out of the parking lot. Sam was leaning against the passenger door, watching his brother as they drove towards the edge of town, he'd calmed down when he had grabbed Dean and breathed in his scent. It always had a calming effect on him, memories of from when he was younger, when Dean would just hold him when he sobbed and told him that it'd be okay. Dean never seemed to stop surprising him. He had nearly beaten him to death when Lucifer had taken control of his body, yet still his brother had welcomed him with open arms when they'd found each other again. Sam closed his eyes, thinking back to the times when Dean let him pick the music, few and far between they were. He remembered the one day, when they were trying to find Lucifer who kept appearing in Sams dreams they were driving, and the song 'Angels and Devils' by Royal Bliss came on. Sam had made the comment that he could understand how that was. Dean hadn't understood it then, but in his dreams it'd been them. Him and Dean in a relationship.

"Dea?" Sam said. "Yea." Dean replied. "Remember back when we were looking for Lucifer, and that song that was like 'I've got a devil in my head an angel in my bed' and I said I understood that song?" Sam asked. "Mhm." Dean said, glancing towards Sam. "My dreams, they were this. Me and you in a relationship. Your the angel." Dean had a faint blush spread across his face. "Dude, chick flick moments." Sam couldn't help but snort at that before signaling for Sirius to jump in back. When Sirius did he laid down on the bench seat, his head resting on Deans thigh. Sam smiled up at him, before he started to sing the words softly.

"There's a devil in my head an angel in my bed it's getting colder  
I'm trying to warm it up with the only way I know  
There's something hid inside, I think that I should tell him  
Cause it's about that time I let him know

He says come with me i'll show you my way  
To a place where all the devils go

Days and days go by, I tell myself that i'm getting older  
I need to slow down, but the way, I don't know  
Well the devil inside, tellin me in order  
To ever feel alive, i've got to let him go

And he says come with me i'll show you my way  
To a place where all the devils go

And I feel cold, and so alone  
Cause I don't know, which way to turn  
And I feel, like I'm getting weaker  
Cause I can't ever take control

Can't ever take control

Devil in my head, angel in my bed it's getting colder  
Well I can not, I will not let him go

He says come with me i'll show you my way  
It's a place where all true lovers go

He says come with me i'll show you my way  
To a place where all the angels go."

Dean smiled down at him, and moved a hand off the steering wheel, placing it on Sams chest. "Come with me I'll show you my way." He sang back, looking down at Sam. "To a place all the devils go" Sam sang at the same time Dean said "To a place all the Angels go." Dean rubbed Sams chest at the word 'Angels'. Sams blush appeared on his cheeks as he rolled onto his side, holding Deans hand to his chest and pressed a kiss to the thigh beneath his head. Dean sighed and looked back at the road, they were going to a park he'd seen, when they were kids well teenagers, Sam had an obsession with stars and he'd often take him out to look at the stars. It didn't take long before they reached their destination and he killed the engine, using his free hand to brush hair out of Sams face. "Sammy, come on." Sam slowly sat up, but not before kissing the thigh again. He released the hand and slid out of the car, followed closely by Sirius who'd scaled the seat again and was running around the field. Dean walked around to the trunk and pulled out a blanket, walking to the hood and climbing up on it. Sam grinned and followed his brothers lead, laying back on the hood with him. "I remember doing this when I was a teen. Used to bore you." Sam whispered as he rested his head on Deans chest, staring at the stars. "Nah. I just feigned annoyance, really I liked spending time with you." Dean replied, running his fingers through his brothers hair.

Sirius continued to run around the park, sniffing and peeing on trees while the brothers continued to stare up at the stars. "Remember when you told me, that the Sextant constellation was only visible if you're having sex?" Sam asked, smirking up at Dean. "Dude, its totally true." Dean said, sounding scandalized. Sam snorted "Right, you just wanted to ditch me to have sex." Sam replied. "Hm. Never. What ever gave you the idea i'd ditch my baby brother for sex?" Dean asked. "Maybe cause you were a man whore." Sam asked. "Hm. Good thing that only one man holds my attention now then, isn't it?" Dean replied. "Really? Have I met this man?" Sam asked, barely containing his smirk. "Perhaps. Hes really tall, like sasquash big. Shaggy hair that looks best with the just fucked look. Gorgeous green eyes, that I could get lost in for hours." Dean was looking into Sams eyes. "Hmm sounds like a catch. Course, I found a great guy too." "Oh really?" "Yea. Tall, gorgeous hazel eyes, strong protective arms that I love having wrapped around me. Brow...i mean blonde hair." He ducked a swat then and snickered. "Best part of all?" "Hm?" "Hes right here, so I can do this." Sam said, leaning over to press his lips against Deans. His tongue ran across Deans bottom lip, begging for entrance which was of course granted. Sam moaned into the kiss, he'd always loved the taste of Dean, it was almost better then the smell of dean. As his tongue explored every crevice Deans own tongue was massaging his, and when he went to pull his tongue back into his own mouth Dean bit it gently, before sucking on it. Sam groaned and scooted closer, rolling on top of Dean. Eventually they had to break for air and Sam grinned down at Dean.

****Sex Scene****

"Yes well...Lucky me that my guys here too." Dean panted. "Oh? Where?" Sam asked, glancing around. "Hmm. I believe hes right here" Dean flipped them so he was on top, and pressed a chaste kiss to Sams lips, before trailing kisses down his neck. Nipping and sucking as he went. Sam moaned and arched up towards him, Dean smirked as he moved lower his hands slipping under Sams shirt and pushing it up, before removing it. Dean continued to trail kisses down his brothers torso, nipping at the flesh once in awhile. "Dea..." Sam moaned, his hands running along his brothers sides, clutching him to him. "Hm?" Dean asked, sucking a nipple into his mouth. Sam gasped and arched towards him. "Off." he said, tugging at Deans shirt. Dean smirked and pulled back, shedding himself of his shirt before returning to his ministrations. Moving lower he began to undo his brothers jeans, pulling them off of him and tossing them somewhere off to the side. Leaning down again, he trailed his tongue along Sams hip bone, nipping it gently and grinning at the moan it caused. "Dea, quit fucking around." Sam groaned out, his dick standing proud and tall just below Dean. Sam gasped as Deans mouth wrapped around his prick, cheeks hallowing as head bobbed. "Dea." Sam keened. His hips tried to thrust up into Deans mouth but he kept Sams hips pinned with one of his hands. Dean smirked at the moans and groans coming from Sam as he deep throated him, swallowing around him when he did. Though this wasn't his favorite hobby ever, if it made Sam lose himself like this he'd do it a thousand times over. "Dea! Ima!" Was all the warning he got before Sam was cumming down his throat with a drawn out moan. Dean swallowed as much as he could, pulling back and licking the excess off his thumb after scooping it up. "My favorite meal." A feral grin spread across Deans face as he looked down at Sam. "Huh." Was all Sam said as he panted, trying to catch his breath. Dean checked around before blinking and turning to Sam with a 'Oh shit' look. "What?" Sam asked, breathlessly. "No lube." Dean replied, meekly. A smirk spread across Sams face and Dean gave him a weird look. "Pants." Sam said, and Dean scrambled off the hood to scoop Sams pants off the ground and search his pockets. Sam lay there smirking as he watched Dean dig through his pockets before he pulled out a small bottle of 'Ready lube'. He turned to Sam with a eyebrow raised and Sam simply shrugged and offered him a cocky smirk. "You sly dog you." Dean said, striding back over and easily rejoining Sam on the hood.

Once he moved to rest between Sams legs, he used the lube to slick up his fingers and gently pressed one into Sams entrance. Dean made sure to keep an eye on Sams face as he began stretching his brother open, dropping a kiss to his lips every few minutes. Dean had never been affectionate during sex until he got with Sam. Something about the man below him, whenever he was in pain caused his heart to constrict. When he was sure it was safe he added another finger, twisting them until Sam gasped and arched up towards him moaning out his name. "Ah found it." He smirked and aimed at the bundle of nerves as he continued to stretch Sam.

A few more minutes of this, and another finger and he was pulling his fingers out. Which earned a whine of protest from Sam. "Be patient baby boy." Dean said, kissing Sam as he opened the bottle again and lubed up his own dick, before shifting and pressing himself against Sams entrance. "Ready?" He asked, and when Sam nodded he slowly pushed into his brother. Making sure to go slow, because even though they'd done this a few times since the rape, he always made sure the pain was as small as possible. Once fully sheathed inside of Sam he paused, waiting until Sams hips raised towards him. Taking the sign for what it was, he pulled out slowly before pushing back into Sam. Both of them moaned at the feeling, and Dean buried his face into Sams neck as he continued to thrust into his brothers body. Sam soon enough began to match his pace, and both were moaning loudly. "God. Dea. Not gonna..." Sam gasped out, his eyes clenched. "Me either baby boy. Open your eyes." Dean said, staring down at Sam. Sam of course complied and their eyes locked. "Cum for me Sammy." Dean whispered, and Sam tensed, gasped and then his cum splattered out onto their chests and stomachs. The tight channel around Dean clenched and forced his own orgasm to be released, both crying out the others name as Dean thrust without rhythm into his brother, riding out their releases. Dean collapsed on top of Sam, and both lay there panting for a few minutes before Dean levered himself up and gently pulled out of Sam, rolling to the side. "You alright Sam?" Dean asked, breathless as he brushed some hair from Sams face. "Y-yea i'm fine." Sam replied, vaguely remembering a short conversation much like this one before. Though, it hadn't been after sex. A smile spread across face as he rolled onto his side "Just fine." He whispered, burrowing his face into Deans neck.

**** Sex scene over****

Dean pulled back some, and pressed a kiss to the top of Sams head, before pulling the blanket he'd gotten out of the car when they first came out here and draped it over the two of them. "Only you." Sam whispered. "Hm?" Dean asked. "Only you can call me Sammy...cause I'm yours." Sam said, quietly but Dean still heard it. "And I'm yours, Sammy. Wouldn't share you even if they offered me the world." Dean said, pulling Sam tighter against him. Normally he was against chick flick moments, but then again, Sam always brought out the best in him. Dean didn't ever plan on letting him go either.  


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_A/N: Hope ya like. There won't be anymore chapters for 3 or 4 months as i'm going up north and I refuse to write wincest on my aunts laptop. Hehe. They'll start hunting when I get back. So yea. Review please._


	18. I Will Not Let Go

I Will Not Let Go

_A/N: I had this chapter done before I left, just never uploaded it. So its shorter then usual, but I've started on chapter 18 already and will have it up ASAP.  


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It had been a few days since their trip to the park, and Sam was currently sitting at the table searching for hunts while Dean was at work. Sirius was curled up on the bed, his amber eyes watching Sams every move. Castiel was off doing some angel business for a few hours, because ever since Sam had gotten better with his episodes he didn't need a baby sitter 24/7 anymore. Vernon hadn't bothered coming by for a few days, ever since Sam told him he was fucking his own brother. But then again, Sam didn't expect him to. After all, they'd killed the demon and he had no other reason to hang around. An annoyed sigh escaped him as he searched for a hunt around them, but was coming up empty. He was going stir crazy, and he knew Dean was itching for a hunt. Not for the first time he felt guilty for keeping Dean here when it was clear he'd rather be hunting.

Sam continued to search, pulling up different news clippings of surrounding towns and coming up empty. After another half hour he shut the laptop, probably harsher then he should have. Turning in the chair he glanced at Sirius who had lifted his head when the Laptop was slammed shut. "Wanna go for a walk boy?" Sam asked, a smirk spreading across his face as the pup launched off the bed and skidded to a halt at the counter where they kept his leash. Sirius' tag was going a thousand miles a minute as Sam stood up from the table. "Well, get your leash Siri." Sam said, keeping his hands behind his back. Sirius barked before standing up on his hind legs, stretching up as much as he could before nudging the leash off onto the floor where he preceded to nudge at it. Not having mastered the 'picking up' part yet. Sam chuckled and let the pup nudge the leash around before he reached down and picked up the leash. "Good boy." He said as he clipped the leash to the dogs collar and opened the door.

As they walked down the road Sam couldn't get the feeling that he was being watched, well followed out of his mind. Twisting around he glanced behind him every few moments before grumbling under his breath. Sirius seemed to notice this and began to look around, trying to figure out what had his master so upset and tense. Sam shook his head, tightened his grip on the leash and stopped, casually pulling his knife from his boot. When he was standing he heard footsteps behind them and spun around, stopping from raising the knife as he noticed it was Vernon. "You know, stalking a hunter is a good way of getting yourself killed." Sam hissed in a whisper. Vernon chuckled and held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, just saw ya walking the dog and thought you could use company." Vernon replied, stepping closer to Sam. "Er...Thanks?" Sam said, and started to turn and continue his walk when a hand grabbed his arm and turned him back towards Vernon. "Wha-" He started to say, but was cut off when Vernon pressed his lips against Sams, forcing his tongue into Sams mouth and holding him there. Sam, who was shocked pulled himself out of it and shoved Vernon forcefully away from him, anger which was rare spread across his face. "WHAT THE HELL!" Sirius moved between the two of them, growling and snarling at Vernon, hackles raised.

Vernon had stumbled and fell on his ass when Sam shoved him, he slowly got back to his feet. Though he continued to eye the dog that was now on guard for its master. "WELL?" Sam snapped. "Uh... Sorry I just...had to. I like you alright, and I know you're fucking your brother but I could be better. I could treat you better, love you. I've seen the doubt in your eyes Sam, you think he'd be better off without you. Let him go, let me make you happy." Vernon said, stepping towards Sam but he quickly stopped when Sirius snapped at him. Sam simply stared at him, the anger and rage still clear as day on his face. "No." Sam hissed in a deadly whisper. "I love Dean, no one will EVER make me happier then he does. Dean loves me, he knows what I want, what I need and would do anything for me. He'd never hurt me, ever." Sam continued in the deadly whisper. "Are you so sure about that?" Vernon asked. "Yes, I know Dean better then anyone. He practically raised me." Sam said, his tone carrying over the confidence in these words. Vernon watched him for a few seconds, looking like he was deciding on telling Sam something but let it go. "Alright. I'll stand down for now...but I'll be waiting for him to fuck up. And he will Sam." Vernon said, glancing down at the dog who was now standing there shooting little dog 'glares' at him. He raised a brow at the dog before looking back up at Sam "Wanna continue the walk. Best behavior I swear." He asked. Sam studied him for a few minutes before nodding, and turned tugging lightly at the leash to get Sirius to come along.

The two of them finished up the walk and were heading back to the Motel when Castiel appeared in front of them. "Samuel." Castiel said, before looking towards Vernon. He was shocked to see the man with Sam, but didn't say anything or let his face show this shock. "Cas." Sam replied, moving to go around the angel. "Deans worried sick. Be prepared when you go in there. He sent me to find you while he waited in case you came back." Castiel drawled and Sam nodded. "Want me to come with you?" Vernon whispered after Castiel vanished. "No...I'll be fine. Dea won't hurt me." Sam replied, before walking up to their room and slipping inside with Sirius before closing and locking the door. "SAM! Where the HELL have you been?" Dean roared when Sam walked in the door and was unclipping Sirius' leash. Sam waited until he'd finished unclipping the leash to turn to his brother. "I was taking Sirius for a walk, Dean." He replied, calmly. This response didn't help any and the anger that was clear upon his brothers face grew. "Have you never heard of a NOTE!" Dean yelled, gesturing towards the nightstand next to the bed. "I'm not a child Dean. I can handle myself, believe it or not." Sam growled. "Right! Like you did last time you went somewhere alone?" Dean yelled then froze, seeming to realize he had said the wrong thing. Hurt flashed across Sams face and he blanched, stepping back until he was pressed against the door. "You did not just say that." Sam whispered. "Sammy...I'm-" Dean started. "NO! I knew you thought I was a burden. I knew it. You said you didn't but you do! I JUST got done telling Vernon you'd never hurt me and yet you turn around and do it!" Sam said, it was a whisper but the words were laced with anger, and hurt. "Vernon? So you were with VERNON HUH SAM?" Dean snarled.

Sam stood there, blinking at his brother for a few minutes before he smirked. "Yes Dean. I was with Vernon. He found me when I was walking Sirius, and he kissed me. Told me he'd be better for me then you. You know what I told him?" Sam asked, with a calm tone. He paused, though didn't give Dean time to answer. "I told him no. I told him that I love you, and that you love me. That no one could ever make me as happy as you do. That you're my world. But I guess me being a burden is just to much isn't it Dean? I've noticed, you've started getting twitchy, you want to go hunt. Well guess what? If you want to go hunt then go. I told you to leave me behind before, so go." Sam said, moving to unlock the door when he was pinned against it by Dean. "Don't you ever assume I don't love you, or that I don't want you." Dean growled into his ear, as he pressed his brother against the door. Sam grunted at the impact but stilled when he felt his brother pressed up against him, he could feel his brothers erection. A low moan escaped him at the feeling, before he twisted forcing Dean back enough to turn around though he was still pressed against the door. "Then treat me how you used to. Trust me. Please. If you love me then trust me." Sam pleaded, staring down at his brother with his best puppy dog eyes. He hated fighting with Dean. "I do trust you Sammy. Its everyone else out there that I don't trust. What if something happened to you? I...-" Dean choked off, looking down. "I can't promise that nothing will happen to me Dea. But I can promise, that if I can stop it from happening I will. I love you to much to lose you. I know what you were going to say Dea." Sam whispered, forcing Dean to look at him. "Oh and what was that?" Dean asked, challengingly. "That you wouldn't be able to go on without me. I know this because I feel the same way." Dean shook his head before leaning up mumbling something about 'Chick flick moments' before covering Sams mouth with his. Dean forced his tongue into Sams mouth, making sure to erase any trace of Vernon from the moist cavern. Sam moaned into the kiss and wrapped his arm around Deans waist and the other snaking up to bury his fingers in Deans hair, holding Dean to him.

Dean continued to explore Sams mouth before gently luring Sams tongue into his own mouth, where it began to map out every inch of his mouth. Dean moaned, rubbing his erection against Sams thigh as he pressed himself closer to his brother. When they broke for air both were panting, but Dean stretched up still and trailed kisses down Sams neck, his hands moving under his shirt and pushing it up. He moved away enough to pull the shirt over Sams head and he latched back onto Sams neck, sucking and nipping the flesh there. "God. Dea." Sam moaned as he flopped back against the door and closed his eyes, tilting his head to one side to give Dean more access. Dean smirked against the flesh and moved down to suck on his collar bone while his fingers undid Sams pants and pushed them down. Once Sam had stepped out of them he tugged Sam towards the bed, and kept leading until he collapsed back onto the bed, bringing Sam down on top of him. Sam pressed his lips against Deans in a chaste kiss before moving down, pushing Deans shirt up until Dean got the hint and sat up, pulling the shirt over his head. Sam grinned at him and attacked his neck with vengeance, nipping and sucking as he shoved Dean back onto the bed, before moving down his chest. Peering up at Dean through his lashes he sucked a nipple into his mouth, smirking when Dean moaned beneath him. He gently bit the nipple and soothed it with his tongue before doing the same to the other, and moving down further and further until he was hovering over Deans clothed crotch. "Mmm Sammy." Sam chuckled as Dean thrust up, feeling his brothers breath through the clothes. Sam leaned down and kissed the straining erection through the jeans causing Dean to whimper and thrust up. "Sammy please!" Dean begged. "Patience." Sam whispered, slowly undoing Deans pants and pulling them down.

Once he had them off he slowly crawled back up his brother, placing open mouth kisses on the inside of Deans leg as he moved, getting closer and closer until his tongue brushed Deans entrance causing Dean to gasp and thrust backwards at him. "Mmm Sure you don't bottom Dea?" Sam asked, smirking because he knew the answer was no. He started to move up and take his brothers erection into his mouth when Dean spoke. "I trust YOU Sammy. Please." Sam paused and frowned down at his brother, his eyes locked with Deans, searching for something. "Please." Dean said again, meeting his brothers gaze. After a few minutes Sam nodded "Alright babe." He replied before moving back down. He ran his tongue over Deans entrance again, smirking when Dean gasped again. This continued for a few minutes before his hand reached up and began to stroke Deans erection as he gently eased his tongue into Deans entrance. Dean tensed, and took several deep breaths forcing himself to relax and moaned when Sam began to tongue fuck him. His eyes closed and head twisted to the side as he thrust up and down into both Sams hand and down onto his tongue. "Mmmm Sammy." Dean groaned, twisting his head to the other side as a hand wandered down and brushed Sams head. Sam placed a kiss to Deans entrance as he continued to tongue fuck him until he could tell Dean was getting impatient. Crawling up his brother he snagged the lube from the nightstand and moved back down, lubing up his fingers and inserting two to start. Sam wanted to make sure his brother was slick and stretched, because this was a special occasion if Dean was letting Sam top. The last time he'd allowed Sam to top was when Sam seduced him. However he didn't linger on such thoughts to long, but instead slid in a third finger and began scissoring them for a few minutes. "Mm. Sam come on man." Dean groaned, opening his eyes to shoot a pathetic excuse of a glare. Sam chuckled before pulling his fingers out and slicking up his dick, and lining up before slowly pressing into his brothers entrance.

Both of them moaned at the feeling, Deans hands clutching at his brothers hips before he wrapped his legs around him and pulled him closer; pushing his cock all the way into his ass. Dean gasped at the pain and Sam froze, braced above Dean as he waited until Dean was ready. However Dean had other ideas, gritting his teeth he thrust up, causing Sam to gasp and moan. "Dea stop...you're gonna hurt yourself." Sam pleaded, shifting to hold his brothers hips down. "I dont care...hurt me, please Sammy...please..." Dean whispered, trying to thrust up again and growling when he couldnt. Sam stared down at his brother before shaking his head and burying his face in the juncture between Deans neck and shoulder. "Please forgive me." He whispered before thrusting in, clenching his eyes at the pained gasp, trying to keep the tears in as he forced himself to thrust again. "I...I cant, Dea...please dont make me...it...i know how bad this hurts." He whimpered as he stopped his thrusting. His voice was shaky and Dean wrapped his arms around Sam, pulling him down on top of him. "Alright babe...alright." He whispered, pressing a kiss to Sams neck and just holding him until the pain stopped. "Its alright to move babe, it doesn't hurt now..I promise." He whispered, gently biting his brothers shoulder. Sam nodded against Deans neck and slowly pushed himself up, before slowly pulling out and pushing back in. His eyes locked on Deans face the whole time, when Deans hips thrust up to meet his he picked up the pace, both gasping and panting as they matched each other. Dean closed his eyes, his head twisting to the side and then back as he moaned and gasped. "Soo...so close Sammy..." "Me too dea, me too." Sam gasped, angling to brush his brothers prostate with each thrust. It didn't take much longer before both reached their orgasms, Sam collapsed on top of Dean before pulling his softening dick out, and rolling to the side. Dean sighed, wrapping his arms around Sam and pulling him to his chest, pressing their lips together for a chaste kiss. "I love you, Sammy." "Love you too, Dea." "I don't care what Vernon says, I've got my hooks in you" Dean dug his fingers in gently to prove his point. "And I'm not letting go." "Good, cause I don't want you to." Sam whispered, before placing his head on Deans shoulder and drifting off to sleep.

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_A/N: So, What'd ya'll think? Reviews? Next chapter will be up ASAP_


	19. Even If You Can Not Hear My Voice

Even If You Can Not Hear My Voice

_A/N: Read author notes at bottom, please._

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It had been a week since their fight, and things were going great. Dean and Sam were inseparable when Dean wasn't at work. Dean had got them a house, rented of course but it was still a house. Their landlord had no problem with dogs, so it was perfect. They would be moving in that afternoon, and Sam couldn't wait. Vernon had been leaving Sam alone for the most part, much to Sams confusion. Surely he didn't take Sams rejection that badly? Dean was at work, and Sam was currently laying in their bed in the motel, having collapsed there after Dean went to work. Sirius whimpered, laying at the foot of the bed watching his master. They had packed everything up the night before – not that they had much stuff unpacked to begin with, life on the road did that – Sam sat up, glancing towards Sirius before sighing. "I need a drink." He groaned, putting his feet on the floor and pushing up from the bed. He was giddy, and sitting around waiting was...depressing. Scribbling a quick note – he learned after their last fight...though that had ended well... - and placing it on the nightstand before walking out the door, locking it behind him.

It was a short walk to the bar – just down the street – and he was soon entering the establishment. Glancing around, he headed towards the bar and took a seat on a empty stool, away from everyone else. When the bar tender walked up he glanced up from studying his hands. "What can I get ya, handsome?" The man asked, he was alright looking Sam supposed. Muscular, but not overly so, black hair the was worn in a ponytail, and brown eyes. Alright looking, but sooo not his type. "Uh. Baileys Irish Cream." He said, before looking back to his hands. "Alright handsome." The man said, before walking off to get him his order. "Sam, whatcha doin here?" He heard from his left, and he twisted around to see Vernon leaning against the bar. "Celebrating." Sam replied, turning to nod to the bar tender in thanks when his drink was placed infront of him. "Oh? What might you be celebrating, alone I might add?" Vernon asked, his tone curious. "Dean." Sam said. "Dean?" Vernon was obviously confused. "Yea, he got us a house. Granted, its rented but still." Sam said, shrugging. "Ah I see..." Vernon replied. "Care if I join ya in this celebration?" Vernon asked. "Uh sure." Sam said with a shrug, not really caring.

Two hours later found a wasted Sam stumbling down the road towards the motel room, with Vernon supporting him, his arms wrapped tighter then necessary around the taller man. Sam laughed as he stumbled "Vernon you're gonna make me fall." He slurred, breathing into Vernons face. "I'll catch ya." Vernon chuckled, and continued to lead Sam to the motel room, and unlocked the door making sure to kick it shut behind them. He deposited Sam on the bed, and grabbed Sirius, locking him in the bathroom before he began to strip Sam. "Mmm Stop." Sam protested, wriggling away from him. Vernon stopped, and climbed up the bed next to him. "Come on Sam, ya know you wanna." He whispered, planting a kiss on Sams neck, moving up to capture his mouth. After a minute of not responding, Sam started to respond and Vernon grinned to himself. Running his tongue along Sams bottom lip, before forcing his way in he allowed one hand to drift down, pushing up Sams shirt. He only pulled back once, and that was to strip the shirt off Sam. Once the offending article was removed, he began to pepper kisses down Sams neck, and across his chest while his hands undid Sams jeans, and pulled them down along with his boxers, revealing his dick. A choked gasp escaped Vernon as he saw the...size of Sams cock, grinning he leaned down and engulfed said cock, causing Sam to gasp and buck. Vernon continued to bob, sucking on Sams dick until he could tell the other was close, pulling back he quickly stripped and slicked up his own dick, and climbed over Sam. He slowly pushed into Sams entrance, pausing when Sam gasped and tensed. After a few minutes he began to thrust roughly, grinning at Sams gasps and moans. "Say it." He whispered. Sam groaned "I love you...Dea" The last word was a whispered sigh, that Vernon missed. It didn't take long before Vernon reached his climax and pulled out, leaving Sam unsatisfied. He flopped to the side of the bed and pulled Sam close to him, pressing a kiss to his neck. "Thanks for the fuck, Sam." Vernon whispered. "Be sure to tell Dean I said Hi." With that he got dressed, and was about to leave when...Dean walked in the door.

The silence seemed to stretch, Dean standing in the doorway his eyes darting between Vernon and the naked Sam on the bed. "WHAT. THE. FUCK!" He screeched, stepping towards Vernon who stepped back. "He wanted it man." Vernon said. Dean continued to advance and drew back, before punching Vernon right in the face. Vernon stumbled back and into to wall, Dean followed him and continued to punch him. "Dea!" Was the weak voice from the bed, but Dean didnt care, he simply growled and continued to pound the man. Sam rolled off the bed, stumbling and blinking. Why was Dean beating the shit outta Vernon? He glanced down at the cum running down his legs, and the blood before looking back to the two of them. Oh. Shit. Sam quickly pulled on some boxers and rushed over, wrapping his arms around Dean and pulling him off of Vernon, restraining his arms behind his back. "Get out of here!" He shouted at Vernon, who stumbled forward with blood running into his eyes and down his face. Once Vernon was gone and the door shut behind him, Sam released Dean and fell onto the bed from the force that Deans fist met his face. Sam groaned, and rolled over looking at Dean as he grabbed his shit and headed towards the door. "Dea?" Sam whimpered. "Dont. Follow Me Samuel." Dean growled out, walking out the door. Sam groaned and pushed himself off the bed, limping after his brother..his lover. "Dea!" He cried, collapsing against the impala. His head was pounding, not just from the punch but from all the drinks he'd had, not to mention his ass hurt. Dean ignored him, throwing his bag into the back of the impala and then slidding into the drivers seat. Sam quickly opened the door and managed to get in just as Dean gunned it, backing out of the parking space and then peeling out of the parking lot. "DEA Please! Stop and listen to me." Sam pleaded, clutching to the cars door. "No, I trusted you Sam, and you went and fucked him!" Dean yelled, turning to glare at his brother. The impala was swerving all over the road and Sam was honestly scared shitless. "Dea...please...your scaring me. Please -" "GOOD!" "Stop and listen to me!" "NO! Damnit Sam No, what could you possibly say to make this better? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE? I LOVED YOU!...AND YOU WENT AND CHEATED ON ME, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT!" "Dea! I didn't...I dont - " However whatever Sam was going to say was cut off, when the Impala swerved off the road and clipped a tree and began to spin, crossing the road and crashing into a telephone pole, which caused the car to flip several times. Dean was thrown from the car and landed near a tree, dazed as he watched the car flip again and again before stopping...trapping Sam under it.

It all seemed...surreal, Sam wouldn't have cheated on him, and he wouldn't have wrecked. But it was true. Dean was vaguely aware of someone saying they were calling 911, as he stood and shoved their hands off of him. "Sammy." He gasped, his voice weak and shaky as he stumbled towards the wreckage and collapsed near Sams body, trapped under the car on the edge of the road, half of him on the road and the half that was off, being crushed by the impala. "Dea?" Came the weak voice, Dean gasped and leaned over. "Sammy...oh sammy. Helps on the way, it'll be ok I'm so sorry...i should have listened to you." Dean rambled, placing kisses on Sams face. "Dea..." He coughed, blood escaping his mouth and dripping down the side of his face. "Shh dont speak Sammy...shit. WHERES THE AMBLUANCE?" He screamed, rocking back and forth where he was kneeled. "I'm...sor-ry" Sam gasped, coughing up more blood. "Shhh you'll be ok. You'll be ok sammy. I'm here, don't you leave me. Remember, I've got my hooks in yea? Not lettin go. So don't you let go, you hear me?" Dean whispered, wiping the blood from Sams mouth. Sams eyes closed and he let out a long breath. "Sam? SAMMY?" Dean cried, shaking Sam gently. "S-s-amm-y" Tears that had welled up in his eyes poured over, streaming down his face and dripping onto Sams shoulder. "S-samm-y!" He screamed, collapsing ontop of Sam, placing his ear to his brothers chest, there was still a heart beat...faint but there. "DAMNIT HURRY UP!" He screamed at the paramedics that'd just arrived. Leaning down he placed a kiss to Sams bloody lips "You hang in there, you hear me you son of a bitch?" He whispered against his brothers lips. "I love you, Sammy. Always." He pressed another kiss to his brothers mouth before pulling back to let the paramedics help him. It took five people to lift the impala up enough for Dean to pull Sam out from under it, which caused Sam to gasp in pain and his eyes shoot open. "Dea..." He sighed, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. "I'm right here Sammy. Not lettin go. I promise." He replied, clutching Sams hand while the paramedics worked to stabilize him. They placed him onto a back board and lifted him up, carrying him to the gurney and then to the ambulance; dean clutching his hand the whole time. Once Sam was loaded, he climbed into the back of the ambulance, and grabbed the dropped hand again, lifting it to his mouth to place a kiss on the back of it. "Your brother?" One of the Paramedics asked. "Lover." Dean whispered, staring at Sam as they attached all kinds of wires to him and a oxygen mask. Dean wasn't stupid, he knew what coughing up blood meant. Sam most likely had internal bleeding, which wasn't good... "Ah." Was all the Paramedic said. "Will he...be ok?" Dean asked, his voice but a whisper. The paramedics looked up and exchanged a look between them. "If we get him to the hospital fast enough, he has a good chance." The older man replied. "Its all my fault. I was mad at him, we were fighting and...i lost control...i should have listened to him. He was begging me to pull over, if he..." He choked off. The older man frowned at him "Its not your fault. Sure you should have stopped, but you couldn't have known this would happen."

**I'll be right beside you dear**

It took ten minutes to get to the hospital, Dean spent the whole time clutching Sams hand in his own, tears streaming down his face. When they pulled up, the back doors open and Sam was snatched away from him and rushed into surgery, he collapsed in the private waiting room and continued to cry silently. His hands were clenched together, eyes closed as his shoulders shook with sobs. He didn't think he would be able to live if Sam died, not without him. He had done it before, he didn't wanna do it again... He sat there thinking back to all their fights, all the hateful words...but one that he knew had hurt Sam the most, when Dean had run away from him..and he had come to get Dean back.

****Flashback*****

_Dean was standing in the motel room he'd gotten, pouring him a shot of scotch. Sam had walked in. Dean slowly turned around and they stared at each other. "Im not going to kill myself." Dean said."No? So michaels not about to make you his muppet?" Sam asked in a sarcastic tone. Dean looked down at the scotch in his hand, before lifting it to his lips and swallowing. "What the hell man? This is how it ends? You just...walk out?" Sam continued. Dean reached over and grabbed the bottle, pouring more into his glass. "Yea I guess." He said quietly. "How could you do that?" Sam asked, anger lacing his tone. Dean slammed the bottle down on the desk. "How could I?" Dean replied, staring at Sam. "All you've ever done is run away!" Dean continued. "And I was wrong! Every single time I did!" Sam shouted. Silence stretched as they simply stared at each other. "Just...Please." Sam pleaded. "Not now. Bobby is working on something" Sam continued. "Ok...what?" Dean asked. Sam shifted his weight and looked down. "You got nothing and you know it." Dean continued. Sam continued to look down, and Dean shook his head, before lifting his scotch to his mouth again and taking a sip. "You know I have to stop you." Sam said quietly, staring at the floor. Dean set the almost empty glass down and walked to stand across from sam. "Yea well, you can try." He said, turning to face Sam. "Just remember your not all hopped up on demon blood this time." Dean continued. Sam nodded "Yea I know." Dean looked at him, a saddened anger clear on his face. "But I brought help." Sam said, with a sigh. Dean looked around with a 'ohshit' look, before turning around to find Castiel standing there._

_***end flashback****_

It had been hours and no word was given as to the status of his brother, Dean was pacing the floor of the waiting room, glancing towards the door every few minutes. He couldn't even fathom not ever seeing his brothers bright, deep emerald eyes looking up at him, pleading. He didn't know what hurt worse, the fact that his brother had cheated on him, or that it was his own fault that Sammy was hurt now. Shaking his head he paced over to the wall. "SON OF A BITCH!" He screamed, punching the wall as he did before sliding down and tears streamed a new, he pathetically hit the wall again where he ended up on the floor, over and over. "Sammy..." He whimpered, allowing his body to collapse to the side from the squatting position he'd been in. The door opened and his head snapped in the direction, almost jumping straight up when he noticed the doctor standing there. "Mr Winchester?" The doctor asked, and Dean nodded, walking towards the doctor. " is h-he?" He choked out. "Please, sit down mr Winchester." Dean tensed, they only asked you to sit when giving bad news. "I'll stand. Just tell me." Dean grit out. The doctor hesitated, before nodding "Very well. Mr Wesson had damage to his large intestine which caused internal bleeding -" Dean choked out a sob, and the doctor paused. After a minute Dean motioned for him to continue. "We managed to stop the bleeding, and also had to reconstruct his pelvis, its held together by steel plates, it was crushed when the car landed on top of him. His...spine was also severed, but has a steel plate holding it together...Mr winchester, there is a chance Mr. Wesson may never walk again..." The doctor said, and Dean sobbed again. Oh god. "C-can I see h-him?" Dean asked, choking back another sob. "Yes...just...follow me." Dean nodded, and the doctor lead him to Sams room in ICU.

**You've been the only thing thats right, in my lifetime**

The doctor paused outside of Sams room "Hes still asleep from the Anastassia." Dean nodded, and pushed open the door before walking in, allowing it to close behind him. He slowly approached the bed, sinking into the chair at the beds side and reaching out to grasp Sams hand in his, settling in for a long wait. However, it seemed that his baby boy had been fooling the doctors, because as soon as Dean grabbed his hand he turned his head in that direction and slowly opened his eyes, revealing the emerald eyes that Dean had been longing to see. "Dea?" His voice was soft, and scratchy. Dean sat straight up, before peering into those eyes. Dean had dried tear tracks streaking his face, but he didn't care. "Sammy." He sighed. "You had me so scared, I'm sooo sorry." He had been fixing Sam a cup of water, one handed while he spoke. Lifting the cup to Sams lips, he smiled when Sam swallowed the water and he put the cup back on the table. "Why are you here?" Dean tensed. "If...you want me to go I will. I will even get -" Dean started. "NO!" Sam cried, in a weak shout before coughing. Shaking his head as he tried to stop. "I meant, I...you were mad at me..." He said, once he stopped coughing. "I was hurt, Sammy...not mad." Dean said, and at Sams look he chuckled "Ok, maybe a little." Dean leaned forward, brushing Sams hair from his face. "But it doesn't matter...I love you to much to lose you over something so...trivial. Sammy, I almost lost you and...i couldn't stand the thought. I love you, you're the only thing right in my fucked up world man." Dean said, his hand caressing Sams face. Sam leaned into the touch, before turning his head and kissing the palm of Deans hand. "What happened to the whole, 'no chick flick moments' rule, Dea?" He asked, smirking as Dean scowled at him. "It goes out the window when you almost die on me, babe." Dean said, leaning forward to press his lips against Sams, and moaning when Sam ran his tongue across his bottom lip; which he of course granted access, after all he wouldn't deny his Sammy. Sams arm reached up, his hand grabbing the back of Deans neck and pulling him closer, as his tongue explored Deans mouth, before tentatively leading Deans into his mouth. Dean smirked into the kiss, before mapping out every inch of Sams mouth, which still tasted somewhat metallicy. He supposed that'd happen, when you're coughing up blood. All to soon the need for oxygen grew to be to much, and he reluctantly pulled back. "I...Dea, I don't remember being with him" Sam whispered, breathlessly. Dean smirked at this "Good, and hopefully he got the message." Dean whispered, his eyes darting to the bruise on Sams jaw. "Sorry bout that." He said. Sam shrugged "I deserved it..I guess." Sam said. Dean shook his head and kissed the bruise "You never deserve to be hit, babe." Dean whispered against Sams jaw. "Dea?" "Hm?" "What happened to me?" Sam asked and Dean tensed again. "Dea? Please..." Dean sighed, and sat up, squeezing Sams hand. "The impala landed on top of you...it crushed your pelvis and severed your spine...as well as damaged your large intestine. Sammy...theres...oh god. Theres a chance you'll never walk again." Dean said, a stray tear escaped his eye and ran down his face. Sam sat there silently, absorbing what Dean just said, before looking at Dean and noticing the tears, and dried tear tracks that were quickly becoming wet again. Pulling Dean down to him he kissed the tear away. "I will walk Dea." He said, and Dean wrapped his arms around Sam the best he could, comforting and getting comfort at the same time.

Sam had fallen back asleep, and Dean was sitting in the chair beside his bed, clutching his hand. He kept a constant vigilance over his brother; his lover, growling at any nurses that looked at Sam to long when doing something in the room. It was around ten pm and one of the nurses walked in. "Mr Winchester?" Dean looked at her and raised a brow. "Visiting hours are over, you're going to have to leave." "Like hell I am." Dean growled, tightening his grip on Sams hand slightly. "Sir, unless you're family you have to leave." Dean glanced towards Sam and then back to the nurse. "I'm his lover, I'm the only family he has. I'm not leaving him willingly, if you want me to leave it'll be by force...and even then one hell of a fight. Do I make myself clear 'Ma'am'?" He snarled at her. She stepped back and glanced between them, a look of disgust on her face. "I'm going to get the chief of medicine." She said, before turning to leave. Dean rolled his eyes, and settled back in the chair. "Dea?" Came the sleepy voice of his brother. "Shh its alright Sammy, go back to sleep babe." He whispered, leaning forward to brush Sams hair out of his eyes. "Don't leave me?" Sam whimpered. "They'll have to take me out in handcuffs babe, and after one hell of a fight. I promise." Dean said, placing a kiss to Sams forehead. Sam gave him a smile, before leaning up slightly and Dean granted his silent request, and placed a chaste kiss on Sams lips, smirking when Sam groaned at him as he pulled back. "Sleep." He said "I'll be here when you wake." Sam nodded, and reluctantly closed his eyes.

It didn't take long for the chief of medicine to arrive, to find Dean in the bed with Sam, laying on his side with his arms wrapped around Sams chest; avoiding his waist in case it hurt his pelvis. Sam had his head pressed against Deans, and Deans face was buried in Sams neck. Sam had one of his arms across his stomach, fingers entwined with Deans other hand. The man couldn't help but grin at the sight, it was obvious the two were in love. When Sam shifted, and sighed Dean placed a unconscious kiss to Sams neck and snuggled closer slightly. Sams shifting settled and he inhaled his brothers smell, a small smile spread across his lips and he sighed something that sounded like 'Dea'. Dr. Duff chuckled, and shook his head before slipping out of the room. He walked over to the nurses station. "Mr Winchester is allowed to stay with Mr. Wesson, it is obvious that his presence calms Mr. Wesson, so there better not be anymore issues." He said. "BUT! Dr. Duff! They're gay!" The nurse that got him hissed. "So? You said that Mr. Winchester said that Mr. Wesson had no other family?" He asked, and she nodded. "Then leave them alone. It is best for Mr. Wesson to have someone to support him while he recovers." He said in a tone that left no room for argument. "Yes Sir." She grumbled, and he nodded before walking off.

Dean woke first the next morning, still clinging to his brother. A grin spread across his face as his eyes opened, and he pressed a kiss to Sams cheek, before extracting himself from the uncomfortable hospital bed – though it was more comfortable then the chair beside the bed – and moved towards the bathroom. He hadn't been in there long, when he heard the rooms door open and a nurse speaking. "Ah Mr. Wesson. You're awake." She said. "Wheres Dea?" Sam asked. "I'm afraid he had to leave, Mr. Wesson." Deans jaw clenched and he stepped towards the door just as he heard "D-dea left me?" In a hiccuped voice. Damn bitch had upset his Sammy. Shoving the door open enough that it smacked against the wall and bounced back towards him only stopped from hitting him by his outstretched hand. Sam jerked at the noise and the nurse jumped and screamed. Dean ignored her and strode over to Sams side. "I'm right here Sammy, just in the bathroom was all." He murmured, grabbing Sams hand. Sam stared at him, tears shimmering in his eyes. "Dea" It was so relieved that he wanted to punch the nurse. He turned to glare at said nurse. "The chief of medicine will be hearing about this." He snarled, and went to step towards her but Sam tightened his grip on Deans hand and refused to let go. "You were told to leave last night, Mr. Winchester." The nurse said. Dean laughed "Really? Because no one woke me up." He said in a sarcastic tone, while he stepped back towards Sams side. "Leave." He hissed at her, and she scurried out of the room. Turning around he stared into Sams eyes, and couldn't help but regret all the hurtful things he'd ever said. _"I tried Sammy, I mean I really tried. But I can't just keep pretending that everythings alright. Because its not, and its never going to be. You were the one that I depended on the most! I just don't think I can trust you." _Dean couldn't help but wince as those words flashed through his mind.

Sam continued to stare at Dean, watching as his face went blank for a few minutes. "Dea?" He said, squeezing his brothers hand gently. "Hm? Oh sorry, thinkings all." Dean said. The rustle of wings echoed quietly through the room, "Dean" Came the voice of Castiel, and Dean slowly turned around to face the angel as Sam peered from behind Dean. "Cas." Was Deans clipped reply. "What happened?" Castiel asked, eyes darting from Dean to Sam. "We wrecked. Sams hurt, bad." Dean replied. "How bad?" Cas asked, his eyes scanning over Sam. Sam squirmed under the Angels gaze, no matter how long he'd known Castiel, the penetrating look that he sometimes gave was still creepy. "His spine is severed, and his pelvis is crushed." Dean said, his voice weak as he squeezed Sams hand. "Cas, please." Castiels eyes snapped from Sam to dean at the broken tone in Deans voice. Silence stretched as the two locked eyes, and Castiel stared at Dean, searching for something. Dean stood firm, meeting Castiels gaze and refusing to look away, hoping that his friend would help his Sammy. Castiel was supposed to be Sams friend too right? "You should have called me right away, Dean." Castiel said, and Sams shoulders dropped slightly, taking that as a no that Castiel wouldn't help him. Dean however just squared his shoulders, his jaw clenched. "Yes well, excuse me for not remembering that I have a friend thats an angel when I'm watching the man I love more then my own life, coughing up blood while pinned beneath the Impala. Excuse me if I was to busy praying that he'd live long enough for help to get there. So please forgive me, for not calling you right away." Dean growled out between gritted teeth. Castiel seemed unaffected by Deans outburst, and simply continued "However, if you get him out of the...hospital, I'll heal his wounds." Castiel said, his gaze shifted towards Sam.

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_A/N: I've noticed that Dean is more...emotional then he is in the show. I did this because if you notice, Sam Is like the only person he opens up to, and hes protective of Sam. I simply multiplied this for the fanfic, since they're not lovers in the show(though wouldn't that be great?). This chapter was slightly longer, though not much. Figured ya'll deserved a quick update following the last chapter. Yes, i was cruel and left it a cliffie, but thats to drag this out as i need ideas, so review with ideas for what should happen. If i don't get ideas, i'll be uploading the ending i already have written. Thanks._


	20. We Are

**We Are**

Getting released from the hospital would be easier said then done. Dean knew this, defiantly with how bad off Sam was. He didn't know how he was suppose to pull the miracle out of his ass, but whatever. If he could get Sam out, then Castiel would heal him, and all would be good...great even. It was just a matter of getting the chief of medicine to agree. It was for this reason, that Dean was striding down the hall towards the mans office, and shoved the door open without even knocking. "Ah! Mr winchester, can I help you?" The man asked. "Yes, I want that nurse... Nurse Fulton fired for emotional abuse of a patient, and I want Sam released immediately. I am going to move him to another hospital." Dean hissed, striding across the room to lean his hands on the desk. "What has Nurse fulton done?" Dr. Duff asked. "She told Sam I left him, I know that it reads on his chart about his severe panic attacks and episodes if I am away? No?" Dean growled. "It does." Dr. Duff conceded. "Yes well, Had I not been only in the bathroom, her words would have caused him great harm because his breathing was already getting shorter in the time it took for me to get from the bathroom to him." Dean said. "I have a friend who works at another hospital, and I wish to take him there." Dean continued. Dr Duff sighed. "It will be against doctors orders. As for Nurse fulton, she will be relieved of her duties starting immediately." Dr. Duff said. "Thats fine, if something goes wrong i'll take the fall." Dean said, though he knew nothing would go wrong. Dr. Duff sighed and reluctantly nodded "I'll have a nurse help you get him to your car." He said, and Dean gave a stiff nod before striding towards the door. "Oh and Dean?" Dr. Duff said. Dean turned his head slightly. "Tell Castiel I said Hi." Dr Duff continued, and Dean spun around but Dr. Duff was gone. What the fuck? Shaking his head Dean took off at a run down the hall towards Sams room, thrusting out his arm to keep from crashing into the door frame.

"Dean?" Sam asked, his head jerking up when he heard the footsteps down the hall. Dean was leaning against the door frame, staring past Sam at Dr. Duff who was standing on the other side of the bed. "Get away from him." Dean hissed, stalking towards Sams bed. "Dea?" Sam asked, glancing around the room before jumping at the sight of Dr. Duff next to his bed, gasping at the pain the motion caused. "Now Dean? Why would I do that?" Dr. Duff asked, before leaning over the bed, pressing his lips to Sams. Sam struggled, trying to shove the man off of him, a white light could be seen glowing in Sams throat and then mouth, before disappearing into the mans mouth. Sam collapsed against the bed and the man, no thing pulled back and smirked. Dean cocked the colt, and fired but sadly the thing vanished before the bullet struck it. Running over to Sam, Dean dropped the gun and began to feel for a pulse. "Sammy? Sam!" He shouted, shaking his brother slightly. When Sam didn't stir, Dean pressed his fingers to his neck, and an ear to his chest. Thank god, there was still a pulse, and heart beat. It was faint, but it was there. A lone tear leaked from his eye and rolled down, to land on Sams chest. Dean collapsed against the bed, keeping his head on Sams chest, listening to Sams heart beating in his chest. He didn't know how long he was in that position, but when Sam stirred Dean glanced up, watching as Sams eyes were opened revealing those emerald eyes, but something was different. They were cold. Dean flinched. "Why are you laying on me, Dean?" Sams voice even sounded different, no emotion. Dean slowly moved off of Sams chest, his hazel eyes roaming over Sams body. "Do you...feel different?" Dean asked. "No." Was the clipped answer, and Dean nodded. "Right... um. I'm gonna go get a nurse to help get you outta here...so Cas can heal you." Dean said, hesitating as he moved towards the door. Sam said nothing, his eyes remained cold as they watched Dean move towards the door. Dean sighed, and disappeared out the door.

Dean walked down the hall, the colt tucked into the band of his pants from where he'd picked it up on his way out of the room. He wanted to know what that thing had done to his sammy, Sam said he didn't feel different, but his attitude and his eyes...something was obviously different. Shaking his head, he figured he could research later, after Sam was back at the motel and healed. Walking to the nurses station he spotted it firing the nurse, and glared. His eyes narrowed even more and a low growl escaped his throat as his left hand drifted towards the colt. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Mr. Winchester." Dr. Duff said, and Dean spun around to find It suddenly behind him. "Yes well, Lucky for me your not." Dean said, pulling the colt from its hidden spot. The thing, or Dr. Duff backed way "Thats...the..." He stuttered. "Hm, so it is. How about that." Dean replied, sarcastically. "But it was destroyed!" "Yea, not exactly." Yet again, the sarcasm was clear in his tone. "More like, rebuilt...and improved." Dean hissed, before aiming the gun at Dr. Duffs head. He was aware of screaming, and the nurses fleeing. "What did you do to Sammy?" Dean growled. Dr. Duff blinked "You'll find out soon enough." Then he was gone. "Son of a bitch!" Dean screamed. He glanced at the nurse and snarled "Help me get Sammy to my car." He had to get Sam out of here before that thing did anything else to his Sammy. She nodded and scurried off towards Sams room, with Dean trailing after her, tucking the colt into his waistband once more.

When they got to Sams room, he helped lift Sam onto the gurney that'd wheel him out to the car. Turning to lead the way, his lip twitched and curled at the sight of the ex nurse standing there. "You can't take him out!" She screeched at him. "Oh really? Watch me." He replied, striding forward and shoving her out of his way. She wasn't a demon – at least, not to his knowledge – and thus he wouldn't hit her. It wasn't 'polite' to punch a woman. He chuckled at this thought, her a woman. Right. After pushing her aside, he lead the way down the hall and towards the car, opening the passenger side door. "I'll call the cops!" Nurse Fulton screeched. Dean sighed, and rolled his eyes as he and the other Nurse lowered Sam onto the seat, laying across it. Shutting the door he turned towards Nurse Duff. "No, you won't." He replied. "Yes I will!" She replied, moving towards the car and trying to open the door. Dean grabbed her by her shoulders and shoved her away. "Never touch my car." He snarled, and as she moved to grab the handle again, he backhanded her across the face. "What part of don't touch, don't you understand?" He asked, walking around the Impala as she stood there, clutching her burning cheek. Sliding into the drivers seat he started the car, smirking at the loud rumble that echoed through the emergency entrance drop off and pick up zone. Putting it in drive, he pulled out and headed back towards the motel.

Once he pulled up to the motel he parked in front of their room. Killing the car, he got out and walked around to the passenger side. "This is gonna hurt, I'm sorry Sammy." He whispered, leaning over Sam. "Deja vu." Was all Sam said, his eyes roaming their position. "Haha." Dean replied, though he noticed that Sams tone held no sarcasm, no emotion at all that was. Hooking his arms under Sams shoulders, and under his knees he lifted him up, and struggling, got him to the motel door. As he was struggling to open it, it suddenly opened to reveal Castiel. "Go set him on the bed." He said, in his emotionless tone. Dean shuttered, it was eerie how alike they sounded. He said nothing, but moved and laid Sam down on the bed as gently as he could, before turning to shut and lock the Impala. "I already locked the car, Dean." Castiel said, from where he was standing next to Sam. Turning back, Dean moved to the bed and sat next to Sam. "This will hurt, Sam." Castiel warned. "Just get on with it." Dean looked at Castiel, and grabbed Sams hand, more for his comfort then Sams since it seemed his baby brother didn't have any emotions...something he'd have to ask Cas about. Castiel raised a brow at Sams tone, but said nothing, moving towards Sams pelvis he placed a hand on each side and closed his eyes, focusing on the bones. His hands began to glow, and Sam grit his teeth against the pain. He could feel his bones shifting and mending, it was rather uncomfortable. A tear leaked out of the corner of his eye, and Dean leaned over to kiss it away. Sam shot him a look as he pulled away, and Dean squeezed his hand, which caused Sams eyebrow to raise.

It didn't take long, before Sams spine and pelvis was healed. Dean had moved off the bed, and was standing in the corner whispering to Castiel. "Cas, this...thing it kissed Sam, and when it did a light seemed to come out of his stomach, and into this...monster. Ever since then, hes been like...well that." He gestured, where Sam was staring at them with a blank look, but Dean knew Sam enough to know, that if he was ok it would have been a curious look upon his face. "This is...very troubling. I'll have to check...but...well can I check? It will be painful." Castiel whispered back, and Dean nodded. Moving towards the bed he crawled up over Sam and kissed his lips. "Sammy, Castiel said he's gotta check something. It'll hurt but i'll be right here." He murmured, before moving to sit next to Sam. Castiel walked up, pulled off his belt which got him a questionable look from Dean. He folded the belt in half and held it up to Sams mouth "Bite this." Sam seemed to hesitate, before doing as the Angel said, after all didn't Dean always say not to piss off the nerd angel?

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_A/n: Yes, I left ya'll with a cliffie. But I wanted to get another chapter out. Still need ideas. Reviews are lovely, better then dean/sam sex...ok so it's not but come on. So, suggestions would be great. I don't wanna have to end this story, but i've been struggling with ideas lately. More delicious dean/sam coming soon...ish, if I continue story._

_Chapter title is the title of a song, We Are - Ana Johnsson Good song, check it out on youtube. Link to my favorite video with it can be found in profile._


	21. I Don't Wanna Know, Ignorance is Bliss

**I Don't Wanna Know(Ignorance is Bliss)  


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They had gone to the motel room because Dean figured that Sam would scream, but as Castiels hand sunk into his stomach and glowed, Sam gritted his teeth into the belt even though tears were leaking out of the corner of his eyes. Dean watched, waiting for Castiel to pull his arm out of Sam. It seemed longer then it was, like a lifetime as they waited. "Can I speak to you, over here Dean?" Castiel asked, before moving away from the bed. Dean nodded and walked away, after squeezing Sams hand. "Yea?" He asked. Castiel seemed to hesitate, something the Angel very rarely, if ever did. Deans stomach twisted and tensed, making him feel like he was gonna puke. "I need a drink." He whispered, walking over to the counter and pouring him a shot of whiskey. "Dean." Castiels voice said over his shoulder, and Dean slowly turned towards him. "Sams soul...is gone."

Dean felt his heart sink, he had suspected such from the change of attitude Sam had. Eyes closed as he took a deep breath, and spun back around and downed his shot, before pouring himself another only to down it as well. Castiel frowned and when Dean went to pour another, placed his hand over the shot glass. "Getting wasted, won't help Sam...Dean." Castiel hissed in a whisper. Dean turned his head slightly, watching as Sam sat on the edge of the bed. "Can we get it back?" Dean asked, his voice so weak and broken he winced at it. "There is a chance...from what you described...it sounds like a soul sucking demon." "Okay good then we kill it right?" Dean asked, and Castiel shook his head. "Dean, they only attack when ordered to. Summoned and controlled. Someone wanted Sams soul, the question is...Why." "But didn't Balthazar say that Human souls are worth a lot?" Dean asked, and Castiel nodded. "Yes, but Balthazar wouldn't need a soul sucking demon Dean." Castiel replied.

Dean was reluctant to admit, Cas was right. Slamming the shot glass on the counter he grit his teeth. Sam jumped at the sound and turned to look at Dean. "What the hell Dean?" Came his droned voice. Dean tensed and turned around "Nothing Sam." Sam seemed to accept that, and turned back to what he was staring at. Dean sighed, shook his head. Sammy would have kept pressing until he told him. "How do we find who took Sams soul?" He asked, turning towards Castiel. _Please say that we can. _Castiel stared at him for a moment. "Well...We could try to trap the demon.." Castiel replied, as that was the most obvious thing in the world. "Ha, yea I doubt he'll come near me after I pulled the colt on him." Dean replied. Castiel was reluctant to admit that this was true. "Take Sam home, while I look around." And then he was gone. Dean scowled before turning towards Sam and walking over. "Come on Sam, we're going home." He said, grabbing Sams hand. Sam tensed, about to pull his hand away but forced himself to keep it there, it wasn't as if it was affecting the direction he was going.

The two of them walked outside, and got into the Impala, only stopping by the office to check out. The drive to the house was short, and when they pulled into the garage and got out, Sirius was standing on the other side of the door growling. Dean shot a look at Sam before moving towards the door and opening it, only enough to grab Sirius' collar. Sam stood leaning against the Impala, watching as after Sirius was controlled Dean opened the door more. Sam stepped forward, moving around the dog and Dean and going inside. Dean sighed, and knelt down in front of the dog. "Thats Sammy, hes just...missing a part right now. I'm working on fixing it boy." He whispered and Sirius whimpered.

Dean walked into the house, letting Sirius go as he shut the door and walking off to find Sam. He found him sitting in the living room, staring at the TV. Sitting next to him, he hesitated if only for a second before settling for placing his hands on his own lap. Sirius settled himself next to the couch, staring at Sam around the corner of it. Sighing Dean glanced from Sam to the TV and blinked. It was off. "Interesting show there, Samm-" He cut off before he said Sammy, because this wasn't Sammy, this was 'Sam'. "Hm. Yea." Was all Sam said, staring down at the table next. "Sam, talk to me man." "Whats there to talk about? You think there is something wrong with me-" "No I don't!" "Yes, you do! I saw you whispering to Castiel." Sams tone held no emotion, though his voice had risen. Sirius lifted his head and growled. "Even the dog thinks it!" Sam continued. "No...Sirius, enough. No I don't. I am just worried Sam. Ever since that thing attacked you, you've been acting...different." "Different. Right. What were you talking to Castiel about Dean?" Dean flinched at the emotionless tone his brother used. "Fine, you want to know?" "Not really, but sure." Dean rolled his eyes at that. "That thing sucked out your soul, your ability to have emotions. Castiel found out when he checked, we're trying to get it back." "And if I don't want it back?" Came Sams reply. Dean sat there, doing his impression of a fish. "Wh-what?" Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. Why wouldn't Sam want his soul back? "You heard me." Sam replied, finally looking at Dean. "Yea, but I don't believe it. Why wouldn't you want it back?" Dean shouted. Sirius got up, glanced between them before baring his teeth at Sam. "Because, If I can't feel then I won't hurt when I do this." "Do what?" "We're over." Sam stood up, and walked off leaving Dean reeling on the couch.

Sam walked into the kitchen, grabbing a good chunk of money from the jar there, and called a cab. "Goodbye, Dean." Dean jumped up from the couch and slammed him into the wall. "No! No you don't get to do this Sam. Why do you want to!" He shouted, slamming Sam against the wall again. Sam shoved him away "Because Vernon was a better fuck." He sneered, before walking out the door and waiting for the cab with "Don't follow me, Dean." called back over his shoulder. _No, this couldn't be happening. Not at all, it was all some nightmare. I'll wake up._ Thought Dean. He stood in the open door, unshed tears glittering in his eyes. Sirius had moved up next to him, growling at Sams back as he slid into the backseat of the cab without looking back. The cab driver however, shot Dean a curious look, glancing between the two of them. Dean sighed, and backed into the house, Sirius following him as he did and shut the door. "I need a drink." Dean grumbled, moving towards the kitchen and pulling out the whiskey and a glass, pouring out a generous amount and downing it. Sirius whimpered as he sat in the kitchen door, watching Dean. Deans heart felt like someone had ripped it from his chest and stabbed it repeatably.

Filling up the glass again he downed it, before his grip tightened. "SON OF A BITCH!" He screamed, smashing the glass against the wall and falling back against the counter. Sirius yelped and bolted from the room, before peering around the corner and watching as Dean slid to the floor. Slowly making his way over he whimpered, nudging at Deans hand until Dean started petting his head. "I will get him back, Siri." Dean whispered, looking down at the Rhodesian Ridgeback. _Vernon's a better fuck _"VERNON!" He shouted, causing the dog to jump. "Sorry Siri." Dean chuckled, before standing up and striding towards their room, digging through Sams stuff. "CAS!" He screamed, spinning around to find Castiel standing there. "What Dean...where is Sam?" "He left me, but I think I have a suspect for who did this." "He...left you?" "Yes but FOCUS!" "Alright Dean, who or what?" "Vernon." "Vernon?" Castiels tone clearly said he thought Dean was fucking insane. "Yes, Vernon. Hes always been interested in Sam, from the first time he met him. He knew that Sam, emotional Sam would never leave me because he loves me. Take away emotions and...we get?" "A Sam that will leave you...Its worth checking out..."

Two hours later found Dean, Sirius and Castiel in the car, oh it was an Impala...but not HIS Impala. No, his Impala was totaled and at Bobbies scrape yard to be rebuilt, again. Sigh. The trio drove the short distance to Vernon's known address, and pulled up a few houses down. Getting out of the car and walking around the hood Castiel grabbed Deans arm. "Are you sure about this?" He asked. "Yes." Was the reply before Dean jerked his arm free and strode towards the house. "You take the back." He whispered to Castiel, and the angel nodded. Heat lightning danced across the clouded sky, lighting it up. A usual thing in Florida. Dean and Sirius moved towards the front door. "Ready boy?" He whispered. The dog offered a soft bark, and Dean drew his leg back before kicking the door in. When they stepped inside Dean felt his heart twist and squeeze, Vernon was hovering over Sam on the couch. "You sick son of a bitch." Dean snarled, rushing towards them and seizing Vernon by his neck, throwing him off the couch. Sirius moved between Sam and Dean when Sam moved up to punch Dean and snarled, snapping at the man and causing him to move back, scowling down at the dog. Vernon stumbled and glared "You! How dare you come into my home and assault me and my lover!" "YOUR LOVER? YOURS?" Dean shouted back, punching Vernon in the face. Sam moved forward again only to be forced back by Sirius. Hands grabbed his arms and restrained them behind his back. "Resistance is futile Sam." Came Castiels voice. Great, so Dean had the angel helping on this assault too? Sam sighed, and bowed his head watching as Dean beat Vernon bloody, asking about some soul sucking demon over and over. When Sirius moved to attack he struggled, but was restrained. "I asked you, how to summon the demon that took Sams soul and order him to put it back!" Dean said, punching Vernon in the stomach then face again. Dean was aware of Sirius slinking around him before sinking his teeth into Vernon's leg, a twisted smirk spreading across Deans face at the pained scream that escaped Vernon. "ALRIGHT!" Vernon gasped out, and went on to tell them how to get Sams soul. "Thanks." Dean said before hitting Vernon in the temple with the butt of his gun, watching as he collapsed to the ground.

Dean bound Vernon, and the five of them loaded into the impala, heading to an abandoned warehouse where Castiel proceeded to set up the ritual to summon the demon. They set it up in a devils trap, to keep him from running. Once the demon was there Dean stepped forward "Release Sam Winchesters soul." The demon simply stared at him. "Do it." Came the groggy voice of Vernon. Only then did the demon open its mouth, that same white light floated up its throat and out its mouth to hover in the air. Castiel stepped forward and gently grasped the soul. "It's Sams." He said, before guiding it to Sams bound body and shoved it back into his body.

Three hours later, after Dean dropped a severally beaten Vernon off at the hospital and left him there he returned to the house, watching Sam sleep on the bed, still bound in case it hadn't worked. He seriously hoped it'd worked, because he missed his Sammy...but wait, that was right. Sam left him. Shaking his head he reached down to his lap, stroking Sirius' head as the dog too waited at the beds side. He took some comfort in the fact that Sirius was no longer growling whenever Sam moved. Speaking of moving, Dean tensed when Sam groaned and shifted in his bonds. "Dean?" Came the groggy voice of Sam, his head turned to face Dean and Sirius. "Yea?" "Why am I tied up?" He glanced at Castiel who moved forward. "Because of this." He said before shoving his hand into Sams stomach and Sam screamed. Deans eyes shot to the floor and his body seemed to get tenser as Sam screamed again. What seemed like forever, Castiel pulled his arm out. "It took, Sam has his soul back." Was all he said before he moved away from the bed. That was all Dean needed to hear, moving to the bed he cut the ropes off of Sam and set on the edge of the bed. "If you need money, I'll give it to you." He said. Sam shot him a confused look "Why would I need money?" "To get your own place." "You...want me gone?" Sam asked, sounding so broken. Dean grit his teeth. "No, you dumped me when you didn't have a soul Sam. Said...Ver...non was a better..." He replied, letting it hang. Sam stared at him for a few moments. "Dean..." But Sam didn't know what to say, to make it better. He knew that those words had hurt Dean, and a simple 'I didn't mean it' wouldn't make it better, because he had meant them, at the time. Hell, he often thought Dean would be better off without him. It was his love, and loyalty and happiness that kept him with Dean. Dean made him happier then anyone ever could. "I do love you..." He whispered, and Dean looked at him. "I know. I just...I thought I made you happy?" "You do!" Dean said nothing.

Sam moved from where he was laying, rolling to sit on the edge of the bed and pulled Deans chin up. "You make me happier then anyone Dean. I would say 'I didn't mean it' but at the time, I did. But I don't now. I don't want to lose you, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you, I don't even know why I said that about Vernon. He took...advantage of me, I was drunk Dea. I thought it was you, I swear it." Tears streamed down Sams face, as he sat there pleading with Dean. Deans eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Dean could see Sams love, it was written on his face, in his eyes. Staring into those emerald eyes, wet with tears he leaned forward until his lips were barely an inch away. "I love you" He whispered before pressing a kiss to Sams lips, it was suppose to be a chaste kiss but Sam had different plans and quickly deepened it as he pushed Dean back in the chair, straddling his lap. When they broke apart both of them were panting, and Sam had his forehead resting against Deans. "I'm never gonna say goodbye. Cause I never wanna see you cry. I swore to you my love would remain, and I'll swear it all over again." Sam sang softly, and Dean let out a short laugh at the fact his brother was singing a westlife song. "Westlife, seriously dude?" He asked, chuckling. "Jerk." "Bitch." Deans eyes searched Sams before kissing him, forcing his tongue into his mouth and searching out each crevice before he stood – lifting Sam with him – and moved to the bed, hovering over Sam without breaking their kiss.

He hovered over Sam, pulling a moan from his baby brother as they fought for dominance, which Dean eventually won. Weight shifted and one hand slipped under Sams shirt, moving up his side and up to his chest where it pinched one of his nipples, causing him to moan and arch into Deans hand. Dean smirked against his lips, before he broke the kiss but instead of pulling away simply moved to his neck, alternating in kisses and nips. When he reached the junction of Sams neck he bit down, smirking when Sam gasped and moaned as he started to suck, leaving a dark mark on the tanned flesh. Satisfied with his work he moved back up as he pushed Sams shirt up, until they had to break apart to remove the offending clothing. Once it was removed Dean smirked, before attacking Sams chest and stomach with a vengeance. His lips moved down from Sams collar bone, to his chest before closing over Sams left nipple, gently biting said nipple and smirking when Sam gasped and arched upwards. "Dea..." He moaned. Dean glanced up and smirked, before moving to the other nipple and treating it the same, before drifting south. His tongue dipped into Sams belly button, his smirk growing as Sam arched and moaned again, oh so beautifully if you asked Dean. His hands moved to Sams pants, unbuttoning them and pulling them as well as his boxers down. Sam lifted his hips, so it was easier to remove the clothing.

Once Sam was fully exposed to him he sat back and simply stared, his eyes raking over his brothers body. "So beautiful" "Dea...Please." Sam pleaded, and Dean gave him a heart stopping grin before engulfing Sams prick, having to hold his hips down when he moaned and thrust up; or tried to. Dean bobbed his head, his tongue circling the head when his head lifted. He continued such actions until he felt Sam tensing. "Dea...ima..." He gasped out before he came, and Dean swallowed it all eagerly. Moving back up Sams body he pressed a kiss to his shoulder, neck and finally his lips. "I love you." Dean whispered, his finger slicked with lube -from somewhere, Sam doesn't know where – pressing into Sams entrance. Sam moans softly, pressing down on the finger. "Love you too...so much." He gasps out as a second finger is added, and they begin to scissor, stretching him. Soon enough a third joined them, stretching him even more. Dean curled his fingers every few minutes, brushing over Sams prostate and grinning when Sam moaned even louder. When he was sure Sam was stretched enough he gently pressed the head of his cock to Sams entrance. "Ready?" He asked, and Sam nodded. Dean slowly pushed in, stopping when Sam gasped in pain and his face scrunched up. Dean figured this would happen, and thus was the reason he went slowly. Leaning up he pressed a kiss to Sams face, then again and again, waiting for Sam to adjust. When Sam nodded and returned his kisses he slowly pushed in more, until he was seated balls deep in his brother. "Good?" He asked, one hand sneaking up to brush the hair from Sams face, followed by a kiss. This wasn't going to be rough sex, no it was Dean reclaiming what was his. Showing Sam that, he still loved him.

Sam nodded and thrust his hips up towards Deans, causing Dean to groan and shutter. "Cheating, Sam." He teased, kissing Sams lips and forcing his tongue into his mouth, before he pulled out slowly and thrust in, his thrusts slowly picking up speed. "God...Dea.." Sam moaned after he broke the kiss, his head twisting to the side and grasping the sheets. "More...please." He begged, and Dean smirked, shifted his angle and thrust in. His dick brushing over Sams prostate and Sam gasped out, pleasure clearly written across his face. "Oh, liked that hm?" Dean whispered before doing it again. Dean continued to thrust into his brother, and it wasn't long before Sams orgasm hit, his muscles tensing around Deans prick, pulling his own orgasm from him after two more thrusts. Collapsing on top of Sam he panted into Sams neck, before pressing a kiss on the junction. "I love you." He whispered into Sams ear, before pulling out gently and rolling next to him. "Love you too, Dea." Sam whispered, curling into Deans side and drifting to sleep. Dean pulled the covers over them, and wrapped his arms around Sam before he too, drifted off to sleep.

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A/N: Alright, Heres the next chapter. Hope ya'll like it, Its longer then the last chapter, thought I left ya'll with enough cliffies for now. I'd like to thank SPN Schmuck for reviewing with ideas, and opinions about the story. I've already begun working on the next chapter. Review, its love. Chapter title is a song by Hinder, I love it.  
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	22. We Are The Lucky Ones

**We Are The Lucky Ones  


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The next day Sam woke first, his head resting on Deans shoulder, and an arm thrown over Deans waist. One of Deans arms were wrapped around him, between him and the bed. Sam couldn't help but smile at this, and carefully extracted himself from Deans grip, before padding towards the bathroom. He took a quick shower, before heading into the kitchen and fixing Dean breakfast. He'd learned how to cook, thanks to Jessica but with them living out of motels most of the time, he never cooked. Now, he had a kitchen! He grinned at the thought, and it grew more at the fact that Dean rented it because he needed stability, it just proved to Sam that Dean loved him, even if he sometimes thought Dean would be better off without him.

Dean woke twenty minutes later, and noticed that the bed was empty. Frowning he swung his legs over the side, careful to avoid stepping on Sirius. Walking into the bathroom, he too took a shower, and then proceeded to get ready for work. When he walked out into the living room he spotted Sam in the kitchen over the half wall that separated it from the living room. He grinned, and snuck around the wall to wrap his arms around Sams waist, laughing to himself when Sam jumped. "Morning, Handsome." He murmured, peering around Sam to see what he was doing. Sam laughed, and watched as Dean grinned at the breakfast that was just about done. "Hm, Is it safe to eat?" He teased, prodding at the eggs with a fork from the counter. "Haha." Sam replied, gently pushing him away and into his chair at the table. "Stay." Sam said, moving back to dish out the food onto their plates, before joining Dean at the table. "You gonna be okay while I'm at work?" Dean asked, after he'd cleaned his plate and was stealing bites from Sams. Sam scowled at his brother, as Dean speared his sausage and stole it from him. "I'll be fine..." Was Sams reply. "Dean, I'm-" "Don't." Dean cut him off. "I know you're sorry, and Its okay, really." Dean continued. Sam eyed him for a few seconds before leaning over and pressing his lips to Deans, sneaking his tongue into the mix. Dean moaned, as Sams tongue explored his mouth before stealing the piece of sausage Dean had just placed in said mouth, and pulling back. "That was mine." Dean pouted, watching as Sam grinned. "Mine now." He replied and Dean huffed, but Sam kissed his cheek. "You, have to get to work." Dean pouted, before getting up from the table. "Fine, be that way." He teased, before heading out the door to their temporary car, while Bobby fixed the Impala.

Sam watched as Dean pulled out, and drove off to work. His hand resting on Sirius' head, glancing down he smiled at the dog. "Think hes really forgiven me?" He asked Sirius. "He'll always forgive you." Sam jumped and turned around to find Castiel standing there. "Man, Cas quit scaring me." He grumbled. Castiel just stood there, staring at him. "How do you know?" Sam asked, raising a brow at the Angel. "Because, He loves you. Love heals most wounds, and his love...its unconditional. He beats himself up when something happens to you, but he never blames you." "He should." "Sometimes, yes he should but that's not how he works." Castiel replied, moving towards Sam and steering him to the couch. "You know as well as I do, that Dean expects more of himself then any normal human should. He expects even more of himself when it comes to you. You're all he has. He wants to protect that, guard it. It's the reason he is so quick to forgive you when you do mess up. He doesn't want to lose you." Castiel continued, with a shrug. "So...In your opinion, he'd be better off without me?" Sam said. "No, In my opinion he'd be worse off without you. He'd be worried about you, trying to find you that he wouldn't focus on what he was doing and it'd get him killed. So quit thinking about leaving, because if you do I'll track you down and drag you back kicking and screaming." Castiel replied.

Sam knew that Castiel was serious, he had a closer bond to Dean then he did with Sam. Some would wonder why he didn't feel threatened with how closely Castiel watched his brother. How he noticed things that even Sam missed. But Sam knew the Angel would never do anything, after all it was a 'sin'. Sam snorted at his thoughts. "Something funny, Sam?" Castiel asked from where he was standing. "Nope." Was Sams one word response, but he couldn't help but smirk at their angel buddy. He knew Castiel was serious about dragging him back, because he had done just that to Dean, when Dean was trying to run off and say yes to Michael. He just hoped that if it came to that, he wouldn't get the same beat down. The way Dean looked after that, imprinted it into his mind to never piss off the nerd angel, no matter how close you are. Castiel seemed to study Sam for a few minutes before he nodded "So, you're not going to do anything stupid?" He asked. Sam shook his head "No, you're right. I'd only be putting him in danger..." Sam replied, and Castiel seemed satisfied with this response.

Sam and Castiel sat in companionable silence for several minutes, before Sam started to twitch, having the urge to get up and move. So he did, he moved towards the calendar where he noticed that it was December 11th. "We need to have Christmas this year." He mumbled to himself, and Castiel blinked at him. "You should discuss it with Dean first." He finally said, before standing and vanishing into the air. Sam sighed, shaking his head. The angel did that often, and it sometimes annoyed him. Moving towards the kitchen he began cleaning up from his and Deans breakfast.

Once breakfast was cleaned up, Sam walked back into the living room and sighed. Fuck talking to Dean about it. He glanced down at Sirius and smirked "Behave while I'm out boy." He said, before walking into their bedroom and grabbing his wallet before heading out the front door and walking the two miles to Wal-mart down the road aways. Upon entering he sighed "Having the car, would have made this So much easier." He grumbled, before walking down the isles towards the christmas trees that they had forsale. He sighed, and peered through the boxes, before snagging a simple six foot prelit one, with multiple colored lights and placed it in the cart, before heading towards the candy canes, eggnog, bourbon, and then lights as well as a few decorations. "That should do it..." He whispered, before peering around... He should get Dean a gift...but what? It was clear that he only had two hours at most to find something, considering he had to be back and set everything up before Dean came home...or else there would be no x-mas this year. Moving towards the music department he shook his head, and stopped peering around.

After what seemed to be forever, Sam walked through the front door and dropped his purchases onto the couch before walking back to their room with Deans present clutched in his hand, which he quickly stuffed into his hunting tote. Dean never went in it, because it was all his weapons...Dean had his own. Once he was sure the present was hidden he moved out and went about setting up the decorations. Several hours later he was finished, and just in time too because he could hear the familiar rumble of the Impala from down the street. Moving into the living room he sank down onto the couch and waited. He didn't have to wait long, because soon enough he heard the garage door and then "Sam?" Sam smirked. "In the living room Dean!" He called back, and twisted just as Dean walked through the door. "What?" Dean asked, but seemed he couldn't think of anything else. Sam smirked and pushed off the couch, moving towards Dean and pushing him back against the door frame. "I thought we could do christmas this year." He whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to Deans neck. Dean closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side, giving Sam even more access. "Mm" He moaned as Sam nipped and sucked on his neck. "Ah...God. And you...didn't... ohyes... think to ask...me?" Dean moaned, his hips bucking when Sams hand slipped between them to cup his growing erection. "I didn't think you'd...mind." Sam whispered, before pressing his lips to Deans in a chaste kiss before he slipped to his knees as his fingers undid Deans jeans, and pulled them down. Before Dean could protest – not that he would – Sam had taken his dick into his mouth causing Dean to groan and his hips to thrust forward. Sam quickly gripped his hips and held them against the door frame before he hallowed his cheeks, as he began to bob his head up and down Deans dick, using his tongue to caress each vain and dip into the slit every few strokes. Deans hand gripped Sams hair as he moaned, his head thrown back against the door frame and eyes closed. "God...Sammy...OH!" He gasped as Sam allowed his teeth to lightly graze his dick, and instead of pain it'd only intensified his pleasure. Sam smirked and allowed one hand to release its grip on Deans hip, before moving down to play with his balls. Dean tensed "Sam...Ima.." Was all the warning he got before Deans orgasm hit and Sam swallowed it eagerly before his own orgasm hit. He then licked Dean clean before pulling his pants up again and standing fluidly. "God Sam.." Dean whispered breathlessly before pulling Sam against him and forcing his tongue into Sams mouth, his hand traveling towards Sams groin. Sam grabbed his hand and pulled away from the kiss after several minutes. "I already..." Dean caught on and smirked, kissing Sam again as his brother blushed. Dean found it amusing, how his brother wouldn't think twice about giving him a blow job but still blushed about getting off on giving one.

A few minutes later, after Sam had cleaned up both he and Dean were curled up on the couch, Deans arm wrapped around his waist and Sams head resting on his shoulder. "So...Can we do Christmas?" Sam asked quietly. Dean chuckled "Yes Sam." He replied, and pulled Sam against his side tighter. Sam smiled and curled up closer to his brother, they sat there for a few hours watching TV and just enjoying each others company before Sam pulled Dean off the couch and the two of them went to bed.

The next few days went much like the first, Sam woke up and made them breakfast before Dean went to work. Today was the 16th and Sam had driven Dean to work after asking to use the car for the day. He had to go grocery shopping, and smirked at this thought. "Whats that smirk about?" Came from the passenger seat, Sam glanced over to Dean. "Just thinking about you." Sam replied, placing one hand on Deans leg. Dean placed his hand over Sams and squeezed it lightly as they pulled into the auto part stores parking lot. "Remember, take good care of-" But his words were cut off by a kiss, to which he tried to deepen and huffed when Sam pulled away. Sam smirked "I know Dean." He said, and lightly shoved Dean. "Now go to work." He laughed as Dean flicked him off and got out of the car, before he pulled away to go grocery shopping. It was kind of funny when he thought about it, it was just so domestic. Dean working, him taking care of the home and it made him smile. His heart could barely contain the love he had for Dean, and it seemed to grow everyday that they were together. The smile that had graced his face when he dropped Dean off at work, lasted all day. He was currently cleaning up the house, after putting the groceries away and waiting for time to go and get his lover...his brother...soul mate? A laugh escaped his lips when he thought of Dean saying 'Now you're pushing it Samantha' but he knew that Deans teasing was done in love.

It came time for Dean to get off work, and as he walked out the door a grin graced his face when he caught sight of Sam leaning against the hood of the Impala, smiling at him. Moving towards his sasquatch of a brother and grasping the back of his head, pulling him down to press his lips against Sams. Sam moaned, his arms wrapping around Sams waist and pulling Dean closer to him, eyes fluttering closed when Deans tongue forced its way into his mouth and was caressing his own tongue. Reluctantly he pulled away, but kept Dean flush against him. "Have a good day at work Dea?" He asked teasingly, a smirk quirking at the corners of his mouth. "Mhm." Dean said, before shoving his hand into Sams pocket, pulling out the car keys. "Lets go home." Dean said, before extracting himself from Sams grip. "No argument here." Sam smirked and slid into the passenger seat.

It didn't take to god awful long before they arrived at home, the Impala was parked in the garage and the garage door closed. Sam slid out of the car, he couldn't wait till Bobby showed Dean his Christmas present. He knew Dean would be thrilled to have HIS Impala back, not the loaned car Bobby had let them borrow. Dean lead the way into the house, and grabbed Sams hand when he walked in the door as well. Pausing only briefly to pat Sirius on the head, before dragging Sam towards the bedroom and as soon as their door was shut pressing his baby brother against the door, sealing his lips of Sams. Sam moaned, and once more pulled Dean against him, his hardened dick digging into his brothers stomach, and Deans into his thigh. "God...Dea." He groaned when Dean broke the kiss, moving instead to his neck and was sucking, licking and biting the flesh there. Sams hips thrust against Deans, his hand slipped beneath Deans shirt and slowly moved up to his chest, squeezing a nipple and causing Dean to groan against his neck, rutting his own hips against Sam. Sam was well aware of where this was going, and when Dean nipped his neck again and began to push his shirt up, Sam guided him back towards the bed until Dean fell onto it. He then removed his shirt, before climbing over his brother, forcing his tongue into Deans mouth. A smirk crossed Sams face when Dean moaned out something that sounded like a protest, before he flipped Sam onto his back and climbed over him. Sam slid his hands under Deans shirt, pulling it up and finally off, to join his on the floor. Dean leaned down, covering Sams neck and chest in kisses, before biting down on one of his nipples and grinning when his brother screamed, arching up into him. "Mmm. You liked that hm?" Dean asked, voice rough with lust. Sam thrust his hips up at Dean, eyes fluttering close as he moaned when Deans tongue circled the abused nipple.

While he was busy exploring every inch of Sams chest, Deans hands had undid his jeans and were pulling them and his boxers off, tossing them to the floor in some part of the room, before his lips moved further south. Bright hazel eyes peered up at him from Deans spot on the floor, just before those lips took him into Deans mouth and Sam gasped out, hand clutching at Deans shoulder before moving towards his short hair. "God!" Sam moaned, his eyes fluttering shut and head being tossed back as he tried to restrain from thrusting into that waiting mouth. Deans head bobbed up and down on his dick, sucking as he did so. His tongue caressed the underside of Sams dick, and teeth lightly grazed the head when he pulled back. Sam twitched and moaned, pressing back against the bed and fingers tensed in Deans hair. "Dea..." He moaned, his thighs quivering as he tensed, hips thrusting forward and his moan grew louder as his dick pulsed, and Dean swallowed his release willingly, crawling up to press his lips against Sams. "More" Sam whispered. Dean was all willing to comply, after all he couldn't deny his Sammy anything.

Moving off the bed, he quickly shed his own jeans and boxers, before moving next to Sam. He reached into the bedside table and pulled out the lube, coating his fingers before he pressed one in, distracting Sam by sucking on his neck. Sam moaned, pushing back on the fingers, and after a few minutes Dean added another, followed by another before he was satisfied his brother was stretched enough. Moving over Sam he leaned down, covering Sams mouth with his own, his tongue thrusting into Sams mouth as he thrust into Sams entrance. Sam screamed, arching up off the bed at the feeling, hands clutching at the sheets beneath him. Dean smirked, having to force himself to stay still for several moments before Sam broke the kiss. "Move...damnit." He growled. "Gladly." Dean replied, leaning down to bite Sams neck as he pulled out and thrust back in. His pace quickly sped up and soon enough they were both cumming, sweat lathering their bodies. Dean pulled out and flopped next to Sam, pulling him against his chest. "I love you, Sammy." "M'Love you too." Sam mumbled, and Dean smirked, kissing Sams head where it rested on his shoulder before the two drifted off to sleep.

Sam woke later in the evening, the room was dark. Rolling his head to the side he peered at the alarm clock, 8 pm. Sighing he glanced at Dean, over his shoulder and couldn't help but smiling. Dean was spooned up behind him his breath tickling Sams neck with each exhale. One of Deans arms was wrapped over his waist pulling him against him. Sighing he let his head drop to the pillow again before twisting around in Deans grip to face him, draping his own arm over Deans waist and drifting back to sleep.

The next time he woke, was to something wet moving across his stomach. Brows furrowed he slowly opened his eyes, to see Dean washing off his chest and stomach with a wash cloth, from their nights activities. "Mm... It'd be easier to just take a shower..." Sam mumbled, reaching out to grab Deans hand. Dean chuckled, and moved up the bed beside him, only then did Sam notice he was already dressed. "Yes it would, but I have to get to work. Go back to sleep." He replied, pressing a kiss to Sams forehead. Dean couldn't believe that it'd just been two months ago that he'd found his baby brother being raped, and now he was so trusting – to Dean at least – and it showed in the way that he relaxed as soon as he'd seen that it was just Dean touching him. "You'll be home early, right?" Sam mumbled, still half asleep. "Yea at three instead of five." Dean replied, brushing Sams hair from his face. "Mk. Love you." Sam whispered, and Dean allowed a smile to spread across his face. "Love ya too, babe." He replied before getting off the bed and depositing the wash cloth in the dirty clothes bin. He'd already fed Sirius and after a last check of the house, headed off to work.

Several hours later, Sam woke and once more found himself staring at the clock. It was eleven in the morning. Sighing he rolled onto Deans side of the bed and burrowed his face into Deans pillow, not wanting to get up. Sirius jumped up on the bed, nudging Sams arm with his nose. "Alright, I'm up." Sam mumbled, moving to the edge of the bed and sitting up. He knew he had to get up, and moving because when Dean got home they were gonna spend quality time – outside the bedroom – doing shit for christmas. Sighing he pushed off the bed, and moved towards the closet before extracting his outfit for the day. He'd pulled out a light blue collared button up shirt, and dark blue jeans. Moving towards the bathroom he grabbed the needed towels, before jumping in the shower to clean up before Dean got home. Once he was sure he was clean, he got out, dried his hair and got dressed. Walking out of the bathroom he looked into the mirror on the back of their door.

Once he was sure all was good, he moved out into the main part of the house. Finishing up the decorations and such, before settling down and waiting for Dean to get home. He'd even taken Sirius out for a walk. When Dean came home, Sam greeted him at the door. "Well, shall we start?" Dean asked, and Sam offered him a nod. "Indeed." With that, the two walked into the kitchen.

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_A/N: Cliffie yes, but I am still running outta ideas, and if I don't get suggestions will be ending this in a few chapters. Sooo Next chapter will be up ASAP._


	23. If Today Was Your Last Day

**If Today Was Your Last Day  


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**

Upon entering the kitchen, Sam lead Dean to the island counter in the center, where there were several ingredients for several different things. Dean stared at them for a few moments, before picking up the whipped cream and raising a eyebrow at Sam. "Stop being a pervert Dea." Sam admonished, taking the can and setting it down. "Can I be to blame?" He asked, clearly thinking of the time he and Sam had played with whipped cream in the bedroom. "Hm. You have a point, but thats for later." He grinned at Dean and dragged him around the island counter to where a bowl set, next to rice crispies and...marsh mellows? "Whats this about, Sammy?" Dean asked, picking up the box of cereal. "Rice crispy treats." Sam replied, as if it was that obvious – which it was – just not to Dean, apparently. "Oh." Was all he said, setting the box back down.

Sam rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically, shaking his head as he poured the marsh mellows in the bowl. "We're gonna make delicious treats." He explained, putting the bowl in the microwave and setting it for forty five seconds. "Who knew you were so domesticated?" Dean asked, walking up and wrapping his arms around Sams waist, pressing his cheek against Sams shoulder blade. "Hmm" Was all Sam said, pulling the bowl out and stirring it before placing it back in the microwave and leaning back against Dean. "I picked up a few things from Jess." Sam said, shrugging slightly. "A few things?" Dean asked, glancing at all the stuff on the counter... "Well...I wanted to make sure we had enough goodies to last...you and your sweet tooth." Sam replied, once more extracting the bowl from the microwave. He closed the microwave door, and dipped his finger in the already cooling melted marsh mellows, and turned in Deans embrace to wipe it on the end of Deans nose. "Oops." He said, grinning down at Dean. "Oops?" Dean asked, a smirk spreading across his face as he moved one hand to dip a finger into the bowl and wiped it on Sams nose, earning a squeal – which Sam will totally deny later – before he bolted away from his brother. "Dea!" Sam called out, stalking towards him. "You've got something right..." He grabbed Dean around the waist before licking the marsh mellow off the tip of Deans nose. "there" He finished.

"Hm...So do you, here let me get it." Dean said, before he leaned up and kissed the tip of Sams nose, cleaning off the marsh mellow at the same time. Sam pulled away, blushing before he leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to Deans lips, pulling back before Dean could deepen it - much to Deans disapproval – and moved back to the bowl, dumping in the correct amount of rice crispies. Just as he'd started to stir it, someone knocked on the door and he sighed. "Dean, come stir this. Make sure every piece is covered." He instructed, before moving back but not before pressing a kiss to Deans cheek. Dean rolled his eyes, and began to do as he was instructed as Sam went to see who the hell could be knocking on the door.

Sam walked into the living room, and checked to make sure his nose was actually marsh mellow free, before he opened the door and stood staring for a few moments. "Well, Aren't you going to invite me in?" She asked. "Uh..." Sam mumbled. "Sammy! Who is it?" Dean called, walking out of the kitchen and stopping half way through the living room. "Ruby." Dean snarled, a scowl crossing his face as his hand went to his waistband and he pulled a knife – rubies to be exact – and stalked towards her. "Dean, not in the doorway!" Sam scolded, grabbing the arm that held the knife and pulled Dean against him, ignoring his struggling. "We killed you." Sam said. "Oh did you really think my own knife would hurt me? Stupid boys." She cackled. Dean broke free of Sams grasp and he lunged forth, dragging Ruby inside and slamming her against the wall. "Well lets find out, shall we?" He growled out. Sam quickly slammed the door shut, and glanced between the two. Dean held the knife against Rubies throat, daring her to move. She was simply smirking at him, daring him to do it. "Why are you here, Ruby?" Sam demanded. "You haven't wondered...how a man who didn't know shit about demons summoned up one to steal your soul?" Ruby asked, the smirk still in place. Dean slammed her against the wall again "That was you?" He asked, pressing the blade against her throat more. "The one and only." She replied, her eyes snapping to Sam. "Why?" Sam asked, only a hint of hurt there amongst the anger. "Payback." She replied simply, turning her gaze to Dean. "I wanted to see you hurt. To have Sam ripped away from you, as you ripped him from me." She spat. Dean rolled his eyes "Enough of this." And cut the bodies throat with the knife, watching as the light flashed and zapped, until it flopped lifeless to the ground. Sam stared at the lifeless corpse, before looking up to Dean to see him staring back at him with anger clear in his eyes. "Dea?" Sam whispered, reaching his hand out to place it on Deans arm, only to have Dean jerk back from the touch. "Don't." Before he turned and headed for the door "Get rid of that." He gestured towards the dead body before grabbing his jacket and storming out the door.

Sam stared at the door, before glancing towards the dead body and back at the door. "Fuck this." He mumbled, before jogging towards the door and wrenching it open just as he heard the Impala start. Bolting down the steps to the car he snatched open the drivers door and reached in, killing the engine and snagging the keys. "Sam!" Dean growled, as Sam backed away from the car and Dean extracted himself from the drivers seat. "Give me the keys, Sam." "No." Sam said, holding his ground as he shoved the keys into his pocket. "Give me the damn keys!" Dean snarled, stalking closer to Sam. Sam hesitated, about to take a step back before forcing himself to hold his ground. "No, Dea...Please...we were having a good day..." Sam begged, stepping towards his royally pissed off brother and wrapping his arms around Deans waist, pulling him against him. Dean pulled away from him for a second before Sam leaned down, pressing a kiss to Deans forehead before resting his against Deans. "Dea...please..." He pleaded, feeling Deans arms wrap around his own waist. "Please." He pressed a kiss to Deans cheek, before repeating it for the other and repeated his plea. "Don't leave me...please." He begged, kissing Deans lips briefly before staring into Deans hazel eyes, tears welling up in his own. "Sammy.." Dean sighed, squeezing Sam tighter. "I was just going for a drive to cool off...I'd never leave you." He whispered, leaning up to kiss away his tears. "Lets go back inside and deal with this hm?" He asked, pulling out of Sams hold and grabbing his hand, leading him back inside.

Upon re-entering the house, they both stared down at the dead body that Ruby had possessed. "Guess we ought to salt and burn it tonight." Sam said, squeezing Deans hand as he glared down at the body. Dean caught sight of the glare, and though he was sure if Sam squeezed any tighter his hand would never work again he didn't say anything. Instead he reached over with his free hand, and placed it on Sams arm. "Yea...and Relax. I'm here to stay, remember?" He asked, suppressing a sigh of relief when Sams grip loosened and he could feel the blood flow returning. Sam nodded his head mutely, before letting go of Dean and moving through the living room and into the kitchen. Most likely to clean up their mess from their holiday fun, before Ruby showed up. This of course left Dean in the living room, staring at the dead body. Scoffing he bent down and grabbed the corpses shirt before dragging it towards the back room where they could ignore it until night fell. Might seem a bit odd to be burning something in the middle of the day, no?

Dumping the body in the room, he shut and locked the door, before heading towards the kitchen, might as well help clean up the mess. However upon pushing the kitchen door open he was frozen, staring at the sight before him. Sam was making the treats, but tears fell from his eyes and streamed down his face to drip onto the counter. Dean didn't even hesitate at the sight, instead he pushed off the door frame and moved around the island counter to stand behind Sam. His arms went on either side of Sam as he simply stood there, waiting. Sam dropped the cookie cutter he'd been cutting cookie dough with and spun around, wrapping his arms around Deans waist and burying his face into Deans neck. "Hey man, Whats wrong?" Dean asked, leaning himself back against the counter and wrapping his arms around Sam as he shook with sobs. "I'm sorry." Was all Dean heard, over and over though muffled. To say that Dean was confused, was a understatement. "Sammy, what are you sorry for?" Dean asked, his confusion clear in his voice. Why would Sam be sorry? Was he sorry because he'd freaked out in the yard? No that didn't sound like his Sammy, maybe because he failed to kill Ruby before? Hell if Dean knew, he just held Sam tighter and rocked from side to side slightly, shushing his brother. This role he was used to, this wasn't the role of the lover no, this was the role of the comforter. He'd done it many times when he raised Sam, he'd always been over emotional that boy had. When the sobs became less and less Dean rubbed circles in Sams back. "Shh...thats it. Breathe." He whispered into Sams ear, pressing a kiss to his temple when he pulled back slightly. _You said you're a big brother. You'd take care of your little brother, you'd do anything for him? Yea...I would._ Dean thought, remembering that brief conversation with the boy that reminded him so much of himself. As he looked at Sams face, his thumbs brushed away Sams tears before Sam buried his face back in Deans neck. Thought Dean was sure it was uncomfortable, considering his baby brother had several inches on him. Keeping his arms wrapped around Sams waist, he gently lead him to the living room and settled down on the couch with Sam in his lap, his upper body twisted so he could keep his face buried in Deans neck.

They sat like that for god knows how long until Sam slouched and his breathing became even. Dean knew what that meant, Sam had cried himself to sleep. Hooking his arm under Sams legs and the other behind Sams back he stood up, and carried Sam – not as easy as it sounds, considering how long the sasquatch was – to their bedroom, laying him on the bed he undid Sams jeans and shoes, pulling them off because we all know how uncomfortable sleeping in jeans is. Once that was done, he pulled the covers over Sam and pressed a kiss to his temple once again, before going to finish the cookies.

Sam woke two hours later, disoriented as to where he was and glancing around couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips as he stretched. Dean had carried him to bed, after letting him drool and snot all over him. His hands rubbed at his eyes as he rolled to the side and slipped his feet over the edge of the bed. Something smelled good, if you asked him and he was interested to find out what it was. Pushing off the bed he moved into the living room, well aware he was only in his t-shirt and boxers before he rounded the corner and his smile grew at the sight. Dean was pulling a pan from the oven, and peering over he spotted Deans infamous meat loaf in it. Moving through the kitchen he wrapped his arms around Deans waist, chuckling as Dean jumped before his brother set the pan down before turning around and pushing him against the island counter. "Hey sexy." Dean whispered and Sam smirked "Hey Handsome." he replied before leaning down and pressing his lips to Deans as his arms tightened, pulling Dean against him even more.

Pulling back before Dean could deepen the kiss he chuckled "Wouldn't want whatever you're making to burn." Sam explained, nodding to the pots on the stove. Dean rolled his eyes but pulled away from Sam and began to dish out the food on the waiting plates. "Bobby called." He said, as he turned and handed one plate to Sam and they moved into the dining room. "Oh?" Sam asked, setting his plate down, before moving to the icebox to grab two beers and froze when he opened the door. "Sammy?" Dean asked, moving back into the kitchen to see what was keeping him. "You finished the treats?" Sam asked as he snagged two beers and shut the door. "Uh...yea. Seemed important to you." Dean replied with a shrug, taking his beer and leading the way back to the table. "Thanks...so what did Bobby say?" Sam asked, as they sat down at their plates. "The impalas good as new. He'll be here tomorrow with her, and to take that shitty one with him." Dean explained and Sam couldn't help but laugh. Dean loved his car so much sometimes it was unreal.  


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_A/N: Sorry for the wait. Next update will be for In Memory. Next chapter for FU will be a time jump, since I'm losing muse for this fanfic. R&R?_


	24. Permanent

Permanent

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Great, another hunt and another long night of waiting out in the middle of no where for the big bad to show up. Sam was currently leaning against one of the trees, his gun with the silver bullets tucked against his chest and his head dropped against the trees trunk. They'd been hunting for two months and Sam was doing fine with interviews and dealing with people. It'd been hard at the start, he flinched at every single movement and clung to Deans side like he was glued there. Eventually he got a grip on it again, and was now able to do interviews alone. Dean was a few trees over in a similar position, but his gun was resting on his knee and his hazel eyes darted around the darkened woods looking for anything. The snap of a twig had both hunters jumping up, looking around when the massive werewolf emerged in front of Dean. It made quick work, back handing him across the area until he slammed into another tree – what was with trees and getting in the way – and collapsed to the ground. "DEAN!" Sam cried, and leveled his gun at the Werewolf. It ignored him, instead charging at Dean as he struggled to get to his feet. Sam pulled the trigger, but the gun jammed and the werewolf was on Dean, choking him and ripping at his chest. Tossing his gun down Sam charged at the thing, and as he drew close enough lunged. Sam managed to tackle the Werewolf, but it used the momentum to roll until it was on top and one of the hairy hands pressed down against his throat.

It raised its other hand, to bring it down across his chest, but a gunshot echoed through the air, and Sam watched as the Werewolf froze, convulsed and collapsed off to the side. Jumping up he stumbled, feeling his leg twist to the side and knee buckle but he forced himself forward. "Dean!" Blood was seeping through Deans ruined shirt and Sam desperately tried to staunch the blood flow. Ripping his own shirt off he began pressing it against Deans chest. "Sammy" Dean coughed, a flash of pain shooting through those beautiful hazel eyes. "Shhh You'll be okay." Sam muttered, pressing firmer against Deans chest. "Sammy..take care of-" "No! Damnit Dean I'm going to get you to the hospital and you'll be fine. It's not that bad..." Sam cut him off, and slid one arm around Deans back and the other under his legs before he stood.

Dean coughed again, blood running down the side of his face. "I love you, Sammy." He rasped, coughing again. A bloody hand moved up, cupping Sams face. "Dea..." "No...Sammy...we know this is it..." He smiled slightly before coughing up more blood. "No, I refuse to lose you." Sam said, his voice breaking as tears welled in his eyes. "Its okay. Its going to be okay." Dean tried to comfort him. Sam shook his head, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Stop it. You're gonna live. Its my turn to save you remember?" Sam asked, as he continued to walk towards the car – why the hell did they have to park so far – with Dean in his arms. Deans hand moved around to the back of his head and pulled him down, which Sam allowed. Dean pressed their lips together, and Sam tried to ignore the taste of his brothers blood invading his mouth. When Sam pulled away, Deans breathing was ragged and his eyes were drifting close. "Love you, so much." Dean whispered. "What have I told you about goodbyes?" Sam chided, tears dripping from his chin onto Deans chest. "Gotta be realistic...baby boy." Dean breathed so quietly that Sam barely heard him.

He did however, feel Deans last breath slip from him and he faltered, crashing down to his knees as he sobbed, burying his face into Deans neck junction as he shook him. "Dean? DEA GET UP!" He cried, shaking him again. "Come on...Dea please..." He pressed Deans chest and screamed. A coughing gasp came from Dean and his eyes shot open. "DEAN!" Sam cried, scooping his brother back up and running the rest of the way to the Impala. He some how got the back door open, and reluctantly set Dean down in the back seat before sliding into the Drivers seat and gunning it to the hospital. "Just hang in there Dea...Please." He pleaded.

It took five minutes to get to the hospital, and Sam didn't even bother parking in the parking lot. He'd pulled up to the emergency room doors, and got out before wrenching the door open and gently lifting Dean from the back seat and cradled him against his chest. "Dea?" He asked, look down to notice that Dean had passed out, and his breathing was shallow. Rushing into the hospital "HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!" Sam screamed, as he looked around for a doctor or nurse. He was well aware that his cry for help had come out as a broken sob, and that Deans blood coated his face, arms and chest. A shocked nurse ran around the desk "Sir! What happened?" She asked, signaling one of the other orderlies to bring over a gurney. "He was attacked by...wolves...please help him!" Sam gasped out, clinging to Deans body. "Sir you're going to have to put him down so we can help him." Sam reluctantly set him down on the gurney and tried to follow. "Sir, let us do our job." "I can't...leave him please. Hes my life." He begged, trying to move around the nurse. "Fine..but you've got to stay out of the way or we'll remove you." Sam was vaguely aware of nodding, before he rushed after Dean.

They'd gotten Dean hooked up to monitors and were trying to stop the bleeding when suddenly the heart monitor flat lined. "HES CRASHING!" One doctor called out and Sam tensed, took a half step before he froze and bit his bottom lip. He could do nothing but watch, watch as they tried to revive his brother, his lover, his life. Another nurse approached and told him to go to the waiting room, he ignored her until she placed her hand on his arm. "CLEAR!" He heard a doctor call. "Fuck off!" Sam shouted at the nurse "Thats my meaning for living, fighting for his life. I'm not fucking leaving him!" He snarled. She shrank back and stuttered about hospital rules, but he didn't give a damn. "CHARGE!" He heard the doctor shout. "CLEAR!" Nothing. Sam gasped "Dea...please." "CHARGE!" They all moved "CLEAR!" Nothing. Sam collapsed against the wall. "No...nononono no." "Time of death. 3:10 March 2nd, 2011" "NO!" Sam stumbled forth and collapsed against the end of the gurney. Using it he pushed through the nurses and doctors before collapsing on top of Dean, sobbing into his neck. "You promised you sorry son of a bitch!" Sam cried into Deans neck, his fingers digging into Deans shoulders, not like Dean would feel it since he'd gone and left him. "You promised, you were here to stay forever. You son of a bitch. We were suppose to grow old together... How am I suppose to go on without you Dea?" Sam whispered, clutching and shaking as he sobbed. No matter how much he cried though, nothing would bring Dean back.

**THREE MONTHS LATER**

Three months, it'd been three months since his meaning for living had left him. Three months since Dean died. Sam didn't know how he survived so long, if you called what he did was surviving. He was alone, he guessed what his father had taught them was true. You were always alone in the end. He was currently sitting on the bed, in the middle of a motel room that had beer bottles scattered all over, and a half empty bottle was clutched in his hand. A leather jacked was cradled in his lap, his face buried in the collar of it. It didn't even smell of Dean anymore, it was gone. Tears streamed down his cheeks, as he began to rock back and forward. He'd not bathed or shaved in weeks, not that he had any reason to. No he just sat there, rocking back in forth and getting drunk to remember, to smell Dean even if for a second.

On the night stand sat a bottle of sleeping pills, and he was eying them. Like they were some kind of gift from the gods. Bobby had tried to get through to him, ending up in a huge blow out. Sam swore he saw dean places, everywhere really. He'd see a guy that only slightly resembled Dean, and suddenly they WERE Dean. He hadn't meant to fall in love with his brother, it wasn't something he'd planned on. But it was how it ended up, and now after everything they'd been through Dean was really gone. Castiel refused to bring him back to life, for some fucking reason that was beyond him. "Fuck him. 'It isn't my place' like it wasn't your fucking place before?" He screamed up at the ceiling, throwing his …. god knows how many beer bottle at the wall. Watching as it shattered against it. "I thought we were your friends! How could you! You self righteous prick!" He continued to yell. It didn't matter, Castiel was too much of a coward to come. He'd never shown his face before after the first time, or so Sam thought.

The tell tale rustle of wings had Sam jerking his head around, his blood shot green eyes landing on Castiel who was standing at the end of the bed. "Sam.." Castiel started, but Sam cut him off "Oh so now the almighty angel decides to show his cowardly face? Fuck off you self righteous prick." He snarled at the angel. Castiel simply stood there, but said nothing he knew that Sam was hurting. He could see it, you'd have to be blind not to. "I've told you Sam. It's not my place." Castiel said after several seconds of the hateful glare he was getting. If looks could kill, he was sure he would be dead. "Fuck your place! He was your friend! I thought I was too! But when I asked you, begged you to help you turned your back! You're a fucking coward! I fucking hate you Cas. I hate you... I hate you... Why wouldn't you help me? Him? I need him Cas...I don't know what to do without him. I miss him...and I love him...and he lied, he … he promised he'd never leave me and he lied. I can't keep going...I cant...I …. n..e...ed him!" Sam shouted, and sometime during the tirade had moved off the bed and was standing toe to toe with the angel. Castiel didn't move, just stared at Sam as tears streamed down his face and slowly, hesitantly he wrapped his arm around Sam who collapsed into him as he sobbed. "I need him Cas...please. I can't live without him." "I know you do Sam... I haven't abandoned you, I've been watching. It pains me to see you in so much agony, but it isn't my place to bring him back." Castiel said, staring at the back wall because really this was just awkward for him. His hands rubbed circles in Sams back, he'd seen humans do that to comfort each other...so it must work right?

"Please Cas...I'm begging here... you stuck by us through so much...don't go back to how you were...you're cool now...don't be a tool." Sam whispered, clutching Castiels trench coat. Cas remained silent and still for several minutes before huffing out a sigh. "Alright, I will see what I can do. This is not a promise, a simple I will try." He said, looking into Sams blood shot eyes. "Thank you, Cas." Sam whispered. "Do not thank me yet, Samuel Winchester." With that he extracted himself from Sams grip and disappeared.  


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_A/n: Alright, so i'm gonna leave it there because I plan on...IF I get enough reviews, to make a sequel. Or if you want, you can decide if Cas comes through or not. Oh and I would just like to say, writing this made me start crying. I started this one night when I was pissed at dean, after a episode of Supernatural and after I calmed down, I liked where this was going so yea. So review? :D_


	25. Sequel is up

Sequel is up, and can be found in my profile.

Sequel to forever united is because you loved me

Sequel to BYLM is All we ever need


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